Tag Archives: Polish Cinema

In the Lost Lands – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A dull, dreary production that is screaming to find something of substance, but it never happens.  

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Broken wind turbines.

In the Lost Lands Review –

There is a genre of film that exists when you pair Paul W. S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich up, most notably found in the many Resident Evil films. There is a visual and narrative styling to these films that you can see even when they jump into different universes like Monster Hunter. It is a style that some people love, but I have struggled in the past. However, we will see if today is different.  

So, to set the scene, the world as we know it is gone, destroyed in a great war long ago. Now, there is only one real human city left under the control of ‘the church’ and ‘the overlord’. Outside of those walls is where the Lost Lands can be found. Full of danger and monsters. In that one city can be found Gray Alys (Milla Jovovich), a witch that is sometimes hunted by the church for heresy and other times sought out by those in power to do favours that she can never refuse. When Queen Melange (Amara Okereke) seeks the skin of a shapechanger, Gray needs to find a hunter who can help, and in the gambling halls, she sees the one person who can ford the Lost Lands, Boyce (Dave Bautista).   

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Divorce (Rozwodnicy) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This was a delightfully fun look at trying to work your way through many layers of church bureaucracy.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

the school band plays in hard hats.

Divorce Review –

If there is one area that deserves a little comedic exploration, it is religion. However, it might also be the most fraught area to explore. To pull it off, you have to have an intimate understanding of the subject matter because it needs to hit home in a realistic manner. Today, we look at a film that might do just that as it explores trying to get a divorce, sorry, an annulment, in Poland.    

So, to set the scene, Małgosia (Magdalena Popławska) and Jacek (Wojciech Mecwaldowski) have been divorced for a long time. So long that Małgosia has married again to Andrzej (Tomasz Schuchardt). Małgosia is struggling to relate to her daughter Ala (Oliwia Drabik), who has a defiant streak. But when her ex-husband Jacek wants to get re-married, he needs a favour. Because his new in-laws want a church wedding, and that means not just a civil divorce, but Andrzej needs the church to sign off on an annulment in an Ecclesiastical Court. It is clear that the marriage has broken down completely and irretrievably, and Małgosia has re-married, so it should be easy … right?    

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Kill Me If You Dare (Zabij Mnie, Kochanie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is an incredibly silly film, but if that is the vibe you are after, then it nails it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

A knife falls to the floor.

Kill Me If You Dare Review –

I think there is one thing that is almost universal across most cultures: what would you do if you won the lottery, or as we call it here, the lotto? Just asking that question probably provoked a number of thoughts as to what you would do with such a large amount of money. But what would you do if you were married and things were not as good as they could be?

So to set the scene, we open in this grand romantic gesture as Piotr (Mateusz Banasiuk) races to catch Natalia (Weronika Ksiązkiewicz) before she leaves on the train. But while he misses the train, he does not miss the love of his life, and he instantly proposes. Five years later, the love is not as strong as it once was, but maybe a shock lotto win might change that. Well, perhaps not if each other thinks the other wants to murder them and take the money for themselves.

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