Category Archives: Movie Reviews

We Bury the Dead – Movie Review

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Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix subscription used to watch this film.

A zombie opens its eye.

We Bury the Dead Review Introduction

Today’s offering has been bubbling around in the Australian cinematic landscape for quite a bit before it got its theatrical release earlier this year. Unfortunately, while there were no well-timed screenings near me at the time, it has now made its way onto streaming, and this is the perfect time for me to give it a watch.  

So, to set the scene, one day an accidental detonation of an experimental weapon off the coast of Tasmania destroyed the capital city of Hobart. However, an EMP wave stretched further, destroying the brains of all living creatures on the island. It is a catastrophe of epic proportions, and a whole mobilisation effort has been activated to help identify and recover the bodies of the 500,000-odd dead. However, now and again, some of the dead wake up, and they are no longer themselves. Ava Newman (Daisy Ridley) is one of the volunteers, hoping to find out what happened to her husband, who was at a conference on the south of the island. Those who do reanimate are completely docile and not a problem, or so the Army says.

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The End of Oak Street – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This 80s homage film triumphs on one important facet: Anne Hathaway fighting dinosaurs.  

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A dog looks up to see a weird light.

The End of Oak Street Review Introduction

Now, if you know me, I make absolutely no apologies that I am a dinosaur fiend when it comes to media. Give me your Jurassic Parks, your Dinotopias, heck, you want to add dinosaurs to Star Trek, I am here for it. But if you are going to add dinosaurs to a film, they can’t just be a token addition; they need to mean something, and thankfully that is not an issue today.

So, to set the scene, in 1982 there is a quintessential suburb in America called Flowervale that does all the stereotypical things. They have block parties, the kids ride around on their bikes, and neighbours get upset with dogs pooping in their yards. On Oak Street in this suburb lives the Platt family: wife Denise (Anne Hathaway), husband Greg (Ewan McGregor), daughter Audrey (Maisy Stella), and son Brian (Christian Convery). They are the perfect nuclear family on the surface, but in private the cracks in Denise and Greg’s relationship are threatening to become a gorge. But all of that changes one night when the lights start to flicker, everyone’s ears pop, and odd noises start coming from the forest. That’s when the screams start.

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Greenland 2: Migration – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A quasi-religious themed sequel doesn’t live up to the first film, unfortunately.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime subscription used to watch this film.

John escapes from a radiation storm.

Greenland 2: Migration Review Introduction

Back in 2021, I was entirely surprised by a film. Greenland took what could have been a run-of-the-mill disaster/apocalypse film and filled it with real emotional weight. It even made it onto my best film list for that year. Since then, I have been wondering if they would go back to that world, and while we didn’t get an Australian release, I am glad to finally be getting a look at it today.  

So, to set the scene, in the five years since the Clarke devastation, fragments still impact the Earth, causing all sorts of radiation issues. John Garrity (Gerard Butler), his family, Allison (Morena Baccarin), and Nathan (Roman Griffin Davis) are still living in the bunker under Thule Airbase in Greenland. But things have stretched on longer than anyone expected, and they are now surviving by salvaging the ruins of humanity that wash up. The hope was to wait for the radiation levels to drop, but already large areas of North America have been made uninhabitable due to it. But when the tectonic plates shift and the base is destroyed, the Garrity family and the handful of survivors must make a mad dash across a waring Europe to reach the Clarke creator, the one place potentially free of radiation.  

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Solo Mio – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It has a level of heartwarming charm I was not expecting but was grateful to experience out in the Italian countryside.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime subscription used to watch this film.

Being left at the altar.

Solo Mio Review Introduction

Well, it is the middle of the year, well more than the middle, and it is at this point and time that I start to get a bit reflective on the time that has passed and the coming storm that is the end of the year. It is the time of year when you want something that is just full of charm, and I think that will be the type of film we will look at today.

So, to set the scene, it was the perfect romance right up until Matt (Kevin James) was left at the altar by Heather (Julie Ann Emery) at their Italian destination wedding. As you can imagine, that is the perfect kind of embarrassment at any time and place, but there is an extra level of disaster when you are in a foreign country. Even worse, when your entire honeymoon package is 100% non-refundable. What is Matt to do? Well, it is paid for, and you can’t get your money back; well, you might as well enjoy it.  

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The Dink – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A delightful romp across the court

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Apple TV subscription used to watch this film.

Dusty losses it on a pickleball court.

The Dink Review Introduction

Have you ever had just one of those weeks when nothing catastrophic happened in your life, but each and every aspect of your life is difficult for some reason? It is one of those weeks when you need to sit down and watch something with joy, something with fun. With that in mind, I thought it was time to sit down and watch the latest Jake Johnson joint.

So, to set the scene, Dustin ‘Dusty’ Boyd (Jake Johnson) grew up as ‘The Hammer’ and smashed his way into the world of tennis. That was before an injury cut short his promising career. Now Dustin teaches little kids at his dad’s (Ed Harris) tennis centre, boring the children and antagonising those using the Pickleball courts. Tennis is the king, but pickleball is on the rise, and they want more and more courts. Thus, there is only one solution for this dilemma: a duel.    

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28 Years Later: The Bone Temple – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An incredibly confronting film that made me regret eating dinner but reveals a wealth of thematic depth beneath the gore.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime subscription used to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

The Bone Temple at dusk.

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple Review Introduction

Today we’re looking at an unusual sequel. After decades of waiting for 28 Years Later, The Bone Temple arrived so quickly afterwards that some audiences may have assumed it was the same film. I tried to watch it in cinemas, but the scheduling never worked out. But now it’s out on streaming, it’s time to give it a watch.

So, to set the scene, we open in the moments after the end of 28 Years Later with Spike (Alfie Williams) having to fight for his life in front of Jimmy (Jack O’Connell) and his cult of Jimmies. Meanwhile, around the Bone Temple, Dr Kelson (Ralph Fiennes) has made some odd discoveries about Sampson (Chi Lewis-Parry) that the alpha might indeed be his friend, or more importantly, the real person might still be in there. There is a bit of assumed knowledge going into this film, as it does expect that you have watched the previous film.

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The Last House – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a film that is trying something, but it is working in a space where other contemporaries have excelled.  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix subscription used to watch this film.

Water filling in the cracks of shattered glass.

The Last House Review Introduction

Today we are looking at something that is becoming increasingly rare in modern cinema: a genuinely original film. Not adapted, not spun off, and not based on a toy from 50 years ago. Given how uncommon these projects have become, I knew I had to give The Last House a watch.

So, to set the scene, one Sunday morning a surprise rainstorm appeared on the horizon. It felt like a normal day, but then the internet failed. But even stranger was the fact that none of the doors or windows would open. That’s okay, because you can break windows, right? No, the glass cracks but doesn’t break. Now, you and everyone you know are stuck in their houses, with only the food you happened to have inside.

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One Night Only – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is such a silly premise for a film, but goodness does the chemistry and commitment of the cast make it work.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Owen pushing Allie out of the way.

One Night Only Review Introduction

Today we are looking at a film that might have the most preposterous premise for a story, and that is me taking into account that the ridiculous becoming normal is very much the nature of existence in this time we live in. But can you do something interesting with a preposterous premise? A Dystopian Romcon? That is what we will look at today.  

So, to set the scene, in the not-too-distant future, the United States has outlawed sex outside marriage and enforces this via sensor data chips implanted in every person that sends information about your bodies back to the government via 5G. However, for one night a year, the ban is lifted. It is here where we meet Owen (Callum Turner), who is about to propose to his girlfriend (Maya Hawke) over dinner and Allie (Monica Barbaro), who is tired of meaningless hookups and is hoping to find something more meaningful on this of all nights. That is their plan, but like an old general once said, no plans survive first contact with the enemy.

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Spider-Man: Brand New Day – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there are limitations from a narrative perspective, the core strength of the characters shines through in a compelling way.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit sting.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Spider-Man sitting upside down on a skyscraper.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Review Introduction

This was a bit of an odd film for me, because of a number of factors. The first being my love of the MCU has been waning; I have not had the time or strength to keep up with its Disney+ outputs, and some of its recent films have been profoundly lacklustre. To add to this, I found the resolution of the last film, Spider-Man: No Way Home, to feel more like corporate maintenance than compelling storytelling. But given half the cast of the Odyssey is here, I thought it prudent to give it at least a go on its own terms.
 
So, to set the scene, it has been a hard couple of years for Peter Parker (Tom Holland), while Spider-Man (Tom Holland) has been out there becoming the hero of New York as he always wanted to be. Peter has lived a closed-off life, as the memory of the loss of Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) looms large. It doesn’t help that his two best friends, MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon), both forgot who he was and went off to live their own lives. But when an unknown entity starts attacking the Department of Damage Control by jumping between people, Peter realises there could be a dangerous enemy afoot, unless the imbalances in his own body take him down first.

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72 Hours – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film that is made worse by the addition of a lead character that should not be there.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

He's Ours! in text.

72 Hours Review Introduction

Today we are looking at a very odd film, because on the surface, this is a comedy that should work, a perfect fish-out-of-water disaster film in the vein of Dude Where Is My Car or Eurotrip. However, there is one narrative choice that permeates the film and makes it worse in every possible way.  

So, to set the scene, Joe (Kevin Hart) is an advertising executive looking to become the chief creative officer. The one problem is that he sucks at connecting with Gen Z, which is becoming a liability to him getting the top job. This is when he accidentally gets included on a group thread for a bachelor party in Miami. It was a mistake, but when the world gives you an opportunity for a purpose-built focus group, you might as well take advantage of it. Though Hunter (Ben Marshall), Freshman (Kam Patterson), Mason (Mason Gooding), and Nick (Marcello Hernández) might not be happy with the exploitation.  

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