TL;DR – One of those films that are close but no cigar, but you have to admire that they go at 100km an hour from start to finish
Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars
Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene
One of my true joys in life is watching and witnessing a new work of glorious Science
Fiction for the first time. Like those moments when you watched Farscape
for the first time or watched the flaming guitar in Mad
Max Fury Road explode out into the desert sun. However, sometimes it
can be just as interesting to watch a film/TV show that is close but just not
quite there and today we take a look back at just such a film.
So to set the scene, we open in on Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) who lives with
her extended family in Chicago after her father Maximilian (James D’Arcy) was
murdered back in Russia and her mother Aleksa (Maria Doyle Kennedy) fled to the
States. Jupiter spends her time cleaning rich peoples houses and dreaming of
getting out of it all. Well one day she gets that wish after a genetic test
shows that she is the perfect reincarnation of the old matriarch of House
Abrasax, an ancient alien dynasty that seeded life on Earth all those years
So it has now been six months since the release of the seventh Star Wars film, and indeed given that it is now out on DVD/Blu-ray/Digital Download etc, and also given that today is the May the Fourth, I think it is a good time to re-engage with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Given the low bar that was the Prequels, where we just caught up in the notion of “it’s better than them, well that means it was a fantastic film”, or now with some distance and time (and the dulling of nostalgia) will we find it does not live up to the hype we placed on it? So of course just to be clear there will be full spoilers in this article, so if you have not watched it then now is the time to go make some tea and contemplate the universe.
TL;DR – At this point I think we are clearly one film too many in this series, so we do we get for our wait?, a kind of meh ending and a poor film
Score – 2 out of 5 stars
So here we have the conclusion of the four movies series and more specifically part two of the adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ Mockingjay. So I should start out with the proviso that while I have seen all the films, I have not read the books, so I can’t tell you how good of an adaption of the book the film is, though I am reliably informed that Part One was much better without the constant inner monologue droning on. So I should say, because I know I am not one of the target audience for these films, that I genially enjoyed Hunger Games and Catching Fire, and while I didn’t enjoy Part One as much as the others, I saw it as an interesting set up for the finale. But honestly, Part Two just annoyed me from start to finish.
TL;DR – “Sing Hallelujah!, Sing it, Sing Hallelujah!, Sing it, yeah, Sing Hallelujah! … Sing Hallelujah!” – Dr. Alban
Score – 4.5 out of 5 stars
Ok before we start I am going to try my best to have no spoilers in this review, but you should be warned that while I may try my best there may be a couple of little tidbits throughout this review. Anyway, this is a great film and you should go into with as little information as possible, go see it before someone spoils it for you.
TL;DR – Wow what a surprize, did not see that coming, one of my movies of the year.
Score – 4.5 out of 5 stars
So cards on the table, I was not planning to go see Creed. I never really watch the Rocky films, they were always a little before my time and didn’t get the same reruns on TV like movies such as Die Hard. That being said, I know most of the main plot points through clips here and there, impersonations and parodies etc. So not seeing any of the others, combined with it being a sports film, a genre I don’t generally like and the last movie I saw Michael B Jordan in Fantastic Four (see review), his acting was so wooden he could give Chris Pine a run for his money, was a perfect storm of meh, can’t be bothered. But a number of people recommended it to me, and I am glad they did because boy was I wrong.
TL;DR – This movie is trying to be a lot of things, but never really succeeds at any of them
Score – 2 out of 5 stars
So we have hit December and that means that Christmas movies are upon us, and the first cab off the rank this year is The Night Before, so how is it, well, meh. To try and explain this film, imagine taking the comedic sensibilities of a usual Seth Rogan production (see Bad Neighbours, This is the End & The Interview) and smash it together with the iconography and themes of traditional Christmas movie. This is an interesting concept, but in practice, we get a slapdash amalgamation of the two rather than an interesting hybrid.
TL;DR – Not as good as Skyfall in any real respect, but much better than Quantum of Solace
Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars
If I had been reviewing Spectre right after Quantum of Solace I think I would have been much more favourable to it, simply because any Bond film has to be better than that mess. However, between now and then we’ve had Skyfall, which ditched all the story baggage they had been building upon for a standalone Bond adventure and it was a much better film. Alas Spectre decides you know what’s good let’s go back to all that lore we were building up ‘cause you know what people loved that. Ok look it is not that bad, there are some really great moments, there is just a lot of faff you have to get through as well.