Tag Archives: American Cinema

Mortal Kombat II (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A bloody fun time, if you don’t think about the plot at any point during the runtime.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Johnny Cage at a con booth.

Mortal Kombat II Review Introduction

I think it is safe to say that video game adaptations can be fraught. Indeed, even when we get a solid first entry, the follow-up can often flounder. Back during the height of COVID, we got this bombastic first entry in the Mortal Kombat series. However, it was missing something very important to the game: A Tournament. Well, they are back for round two, and they are ready to fix that omission.   

So, to set the scene, in the days since the first film, everyone realised that they are down one champion after Shao Kahn’s (Martyn Ford) pre-emptive strike. This somehow did not break the rules of the tournament. There are 8 billion humans in Earthrealm, and for some reason, the Gods chose washed-up Hollywood actor Johnny Cage (Karl Urban). He thinks he’s having an aneurysm, but reality hits hard when Johnny is zapped off Earth to face Kitana (Adeline Rudolph), Shao Kahn’s adopted daughter, whose blades cut deep.

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Touch Me – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While this is a profoundly weird and visually interesting film, the subject matter almost became a walking red flag, undercutting any progress the film could make.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

The four main cast illuminated in red light.

Touch Me Review Introduction

I will always prefer a film that takes risks rather than playing it safe, like having one man battle Hundreds of Beavers or piercing the veil of nostalgic memory through old videos in Aftersun. However, when you make a big swing at doing something profoundly odd, sometimes you miss, and I feel that is the sort of film we are looking at today.
 
So, to set the scene, we open with Joey (Olivia Taylor Dudley) engaging in some immersion therapy, recounting the story of the time she met and then ‘met’ an ‘alien’ called Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci). Joey has been trying to move on with her life, but she keeps getting brought back to that night, bringing with it many conflicting memories. But when her and her roommate Craig’s (Jordan Gavaris) house floods from a non-water plumbing issue and becomes uninhabitable, she has only one choice left, to go back to Brian.  

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Michael – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A complicated film about a complicated person that stops just short of having to draw any lines in the sand by creating an interesting framing device for its narrative.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes with flashing lights.

The crowd cheers for Michael.

Michael Review Introduction

Ever since the onslaught that was Bohemian Rhapsody, the cinema space has been full of other musical biopics trying to recreate that lightning in a bottle, assuming you rate Bohemian Rhapsody highly in the first place. We had the fascinating Kneecap, the historically revisionist  The Greatest Showman, and the shameless Oscar grab of A Complete Unknown, to name a few. However, there are always new musicians out there ready for their musical biopic, and today’s entry takes us to the complicated world of Michael Jackson. Now, given this is a movie about a real person’s life, someone who lived not that long ago, we won’t be as stringent with spoilers in this review as we would for a fictional work.

So, to set the scene, throughout the history of 20th-century music, few people have had the same reach and popularity as Michael Jackson (Jaafar Jackson). Even as a child, Michael’s (Juliano Krue Valdi) talent was clear to anyone who could see or hear. But talent can be a gift, and it can be a burden. It can lift a family from obscurity into the lounge rooms of every house in America and the world, and it can also rip that family apart.

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Pizza Film – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A charming if debauched window into the world of American colleges.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service to view this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes with flashing lights.

A tin of M.I.N.T.S.

Pizza Film Review Introduction

Growing up on the internet at my age meant that at some moment, you came across BriTANicK’s work on YouTube, such as Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer. When you watch someone’s career grow over the years, it is a delight to see when it comes to fruition with their first major feature. Well, that has happened today, and I, of course, have to check it out.  

So, to set the scene, a long time in the past, a delinquent college freshman hid some drugs called M.I.N.T.S. in a slot in their ceiling. Years later, someone new lives in that room, Jack (Gaten Matarazzo), who is hated by the whole college thanks to an incident with the football team, and Montgomery (Sean Giambrone), a quiet, nervous kind of guy, trying to become an alpha. Well, after a particularly awful day, which leads to the drugs getting dislodged from the ceiling, the boys decide to give them a try, not realising you need to have them with food, or six terrible phases will follow. Now, they must make their way down two stories to get the pizza waiting in the lobby before the final phase kicks in, and their lives are destroyed forever. Just hope the RAs don’t pick tonight to start their purge of undesirables.  

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Misdirection – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it had a strong start, inconsistent dialogue and characterisation eventually led to me disconnecting from the narrative.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

A scanner log on a screen.

Misdirection Review Introduction

In the world of cinema, there are these character actors who, when you see them pop up in a film, you know you are going to have a good time. Today, we get to look at a film that has not one but two of these gems in Olga Kurylenko and Frank Grillo, and get to see how they roll in a tight thriller.

So, to set the scene, we open as two dubious characters, Sara Black (Olga Kurylenko) & Jason Wright (Oliver Trevena), hack into the security system of philanthropist David Blume (Frank Grillo). This is their last heist, and they want to go out on a high note and finally pay off the debt that hangs over their head. They had the heist scheduled down to the minute, but what they didn’t plan on was their mark coming home early and catching them in the act.

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The Super Mario Galaxy Movie – Movie Review

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TL;DR – I may have entered my curmudgeon phase, because while I could appreciate the stunning animation, the film completely disconnected from me on a foundational level.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid- and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I received a free ticket from the distributor to watch this film.

Shooting stars.

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Review Introduction

Well, today I have a sort of unpleasant job to do. I have much love for Mario and the games that spawned from him. I also found the first The Super Mario Bros. Movie was fine, not great, but fine. But maybe I no longer have any joy in my heart because I walked out of this movie feeling nothing.   

So, to set the scene, deep in the galaxy, Princess Rosalina (Brie Larson) is giving her Lumas a bedtime story when her castle/spaceship/world is invaded by a mechanical creature driven by Bowser Jr. (Benny Safdie), who is on a mission of revenge for his father, Bowser (Jack Black). Meanwhile, Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are living full-time in the Mushroom Kingdom, going around helping the locals, like finding a stuck Yoshi (Donald Glover). But when a meteor storm shows something is wrong in the galaxy, Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) and Toad (Keegan-Michael Key) go on an adventure through the stars.

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They Will Kill You – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A taut action film, which has some of the most succinct worldbuilding in the business, in-between all the creative carnage chaotically clamouring betwixt cleaved clavicles.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Asia looks down an empty hallway.

They Will Kill You Review Introduction

Today, we look at a film that is a very odd juxtaposition of extremes. On one hand, this is one of the tightest, stylish action films I have seen in an age. On the other hand, it suffers from a repetitive nature that it can’t seem to escape. A lot of highs, some lows, and enough fake blood for a blue whale to swim through.  


So, to set the scene, Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz) has had a troubled life and is haunted by a choice in her childhood when she ran and left her sister behind. Living in the margins, Asia takes a housekeeping job in the luxurious Virgil apartments. Here, Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette), the superintendent, shows Asia to her rooms, a place of safety from the storm outside. However, as she sleeps, a masked man enters her room through a secret entrance, armed for violence. For the Virgil is not just an apartment block for the rich; it is a Satanic Temple, and each year they must sacrifice one soul to their god, and tonight it is Asia on the chopping block.

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Frontier Crucible – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While the scenery is delightful, not much more can be said to recommend this film.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Monument Valley.

Frontier Crucible Review Introduction –

Have you ever started a film and gotten an immediate odd vibe, wait, why isn’t there a credited writer … wait, they cast who in this film … in 2024 … oh, that not great. But it is so long since I have seen a good Western, I persisted. I am not sure I should have.  

So, to set the scene, in the Arizona Territory of 1872, A man alone by a campfire realises he is surrounded, and it soon becomes clear that they do not have friendly intent as blood is spilt. Two years later, Major O’Rourke (William H. Macy) is trying with Merrick Beckford (Myles Clohessy) to work out how to get much-needed medical supplies past the Apache to a town full of an epidemic. On that mission, he runs into Mule (Thomas Jane), an outlaw in disguise, whose luck ran out with some Apache people. Beckford takes mercy on them because they have a wounded man (Eli Brown) and his wife, Valerie (Mary Stickley). But he will regret this choice.        

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Cold Storage – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While filled with fascinating concepts, it becomes a film that is less than the sum of its parts.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Masked troops drive away from a town being bombed in fire.

Cold Storage Review Introduction –

If you have been on our site before, you know that we are here for an interesting new Zombie work. While the genre can be overstuffed at times, the good films use the zombies as a reflection on society and have interesting things to say. Today, we are looking at a film that is filled to the brim with interesting concepts, but struggles to make a great film out of it, despite all the building blocks being there.  

So, to set the scene, when Skylab crashed into Western Australia in 1979, NASA thought it had collected all the debris, but it missed one. It housed a fungus they were experimenting on, but what went up was not what came down. Luckily, the canister landed in the barren Australian desert, though unlucky for the small township that needed to be napalmed to contain the spread. A small sample was kept in the top-secret Atchison Storage Facility in Kansas. But time is a fool to us all, and decades later, what was stored on sub-level 4 was forgotten, the facility was sold off to a self-storage company, and life went on. Well, it did right up until an internal warning system that has not been activated since the Cold War started blaring in Washington.  

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Project Hail Mary – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Project Hail Mary is everything a sci-fi film should be: bold, evocative, immersive, and wonderous.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Some scenes contain flashing lights.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

The Hail Mary floating next to a much larger alien ship.

Project Hail Mary Review Introduction –

As I sit down to write this review, I feel like I am floating a touch on air, as if I had just witnessed something glorious to behold. Something I hoped would be good, but which delivered in ways not even I was expecting. It’s a rare film that not only meets expectations but exceeds them.   

So, to set the scene, a man wakes up sealed in a bag, not able to talk, and is accosted by some persistent medical device. He does not know who he is. He does not know where he is. He does not know why there are two dead bodies with him. And you better believe he does not know why he is on a spaceship, or why the star he is looking at is not Sol. There are flashes of memory, of a dying Sun, a Petrova line to Venus, and microbes called Astrophage eating it away. But the man whom the computer says is Dr Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) doesn’t have much time to think about things when the computer alerts him to Blip-A, and he realises he is not the only spaceship out here.     

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