Tag Archives: movies

Scary Movie (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a perfectly okay entry into the series, where some of the jokes still land, but it struggles to find its voice

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Ghostface drinking tea.

Scary Movie Review Introduction

Now, before we jump in, I do have something to confess, and on the off chance one of my parents is reading this, maybe skip to the next paragraph. I kind of have a soft spot for Scary Movie as it was the first MA15+ film I saw in cinemas. In that rebellious phase where you realised you didn’t need parental approval to get into the cinemas. As far as parodies go, it was and still is streets ahead of many of its contemporaries and most of the followers that were spawned in the years after its success. But as time went on, the series had diminishing returns as it devolved into a funhouse mirror clip-show of pop culture. However, not only is this latest instalment coming at a time when Horror films are in ascendance, I mean Obsession and Backrooms just killed a Star Wars at the box office. But also, the original creators are back, and I am interested to see if they can bring the same intensity to the franchise twenty-six years later.

So, to set the scene, it has been many years since Ghostface struck, and many think he is a fable, or just a bad horror movie holdover, that is, until he turns up at Tuesday’s (Savannah Lee Nassif) house, brandishing his knife. Tuesday’s stabbing causes her sister Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan) and her not-at-all-suspicious boyfriend Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts) to return home and visit Sara’s mother, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), who has been preparing for this day for years. There is a killer on the loose, so it is time to bring the gang back together, including Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans), before Ghostface kills them off one by one in elaborate referential deaths.       

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Masters of the Universe (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Well, never have I been so happy to be wrong. This film was a blast from beginning to end.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are post-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

He-Man finds his power.

Masters of the Universe Review Introduction

Before we dive into the review proper, I think it is right to be a bit honest up front. I did not have high hopes for this film. It had been in production hell for an age and a half, the casting felt like a mess, it was hitting at a nostalgia that didn’t feel like it really existed, and it had a multitude of writing credits that made anyone concerned. Then there was the Jared Leto-sized elephant in the room. I was expecting a complete and utter disaster. Well, I need to go eat some humble pie, not because I like pie, I do, but because this was the most fun I have had in a cinema in an age.


So, to set the scene, Adam Glenn (Nicholas Galitzine) struggles a lot in Oklahoma City because people can never quite get close to him. Because sooner or later, he needs to tell them that when he was a child (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt), he was the Prince of Eternia, surrounded by magic, wonders, history, and the love of the people. But all of that changed one day when Skeletor (Jared Leto) attacked with his goons and captured his parents, King Randor (James Purefoy) and Queen Marlena (Charlotte Riley). They would have taken the young Adam to, in their search for the Sword of Power. However, the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) saved him by sending him to Earth to keep the sword safe, but he lost it in transit. As you can imagine, that kind of story does not get you a second date and probably get you an awkward phone call cutting the night short. But things change when one day he gets a message that someone has finally found his sword, and Adam has a chance to return home.

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Backrooms (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a film built almost entirely on its vibe, and that is exactly why it works. Every small detail has been crafted to leave the hairs standing up on the back of your neck for the entire runtime.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire.

Backrooms Review Introduction

If you have ever dabbled in the online spaces, then you have probably come across the internet phenomenon that is the Backrooms. A slightly too illuminated or not illuminated enough office block that goes on for eternity, where things are just not quite right. It has the distinct visual style of being both familiar and also profoundly off-putting. Well, this has been bouncing around the World Wide Web for a decade or so, and one of the creators in the space has taken the jump to the big screen, so let’s take a look.   

So, to set the scene, in the 1990s, Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is a generally frustrated seller of tired house furniture. He wanted to be an architect, but for many reasons, he could never make that work. The Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire is bleeding him dry with all these electricity bills, which Clark knows are wrong because he might be currently living in the store after his wife kicked him out. He has been working through this with his therapist, Dr Mary Kline (Renate Reinsve), but nothing seems to stick. But then, one night, when he was sleeping in the store, he heard some odd electric noises from the basement. Going to investigate, nothing seems out of the ordinary until something caught the corner of his eye. An echo, a strip, a remembrance of a door that should not be there. It is an odd office-like space with yellow carpets and inconsistent fluorescent lighting. However, the deeper Clark goes, the weirder it gets.       

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The Mandalorian and Grogu (Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A generally solid, if only occasionally ambitious Star Wars film, but can’t quite escape the feeling that they took a season of television and smashed it into a film.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Grogu and The Mandalorian look over a sand dune.

The Mandalorian and Grogu Review Introduction

Today, we have an interesting film, as it has so many competing factors needed for it to work as a film. The Mandalorian and Grogu have to be a conclusion to a whole range of Disney+ television series, it has to be a tent-pole production bringing the cinematic glam back to the Star Wars Universe, and it has to be a good film in its own right. That is a lot of different tasks, all with their own baggage being brought to the table. Add to this a rapidly changing cinematic landscape in general, Disney+’s hit-and-miss aspect to its stories, and their profound inability to confront the toxic aspect of their own community. So yes, I’m concerned. But let’s see if they’ve managed to stick the landing.
 
So, to set the scene, since retiring from pulling bounties for more despicable people, The Mandalorian Din Djarin (Pedro Pascal/Brendan Wayne/Lateef Crowder) and his apprentice Grogu (Himself) have begun working bounties for the New Republic. Capturing those of the Imperial Remnant before they can cause more harm. But Colonel Ward gives Din Djarin a new mission deep in the territory of the Hutts. He needs to rescue Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White), but that might mean making deals with the exact people he has tried to stop working for.

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Finding Emily – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An oddly charming film that transcends some of the potential limitations by grounding the characters in a clear sense of time and place.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A poster with "Missing, A Digit of Emily's Number!, you gave me 10/11th's of your number on MONDAY you were a FAIRY I was the guy with no bottle opener who'd really like to see you again Meet ME Where you found me ANY NIGHT 7pm"

Finding Emily Review Introduction

When you have been writing reviews for a while, one of the issues that comes up is that you tend to have seen everything under the sun already. It is like that friend who always knows who the murderer is five minutes into a murder mystery. However, every now and again, a film will catch you off guard, and that is what we are looking at today.   

So, to set the scene, Owen (Spike Fearn) is a caring guy trying to make a life as a sound engineer when one night at a club he is working in, he runs into Emily (Sadie Soverall). They immediately hit it off with an almost electric chemistry. To the point he almost loses his job from having a good time. But late at night, before the clock struck 12, Emily had to run off with her friends to another party, but since they were having such fun, she put her number in Owen’s phone. The next morning, Owen’s brother, Matt (Jack Riddiford) and his partner, Freya (Isabella Laughland), did find a bit of glee when Owen discovered Emily had only given her 10 of the 11 digits of her phone number. But Owen was determined, and Manchester is a university town, so someone must know who she is, right? His first attempt was a failure, but Emily Raine (Angourie Rice) was nice enough to help him on his mission, but her motives might not be all that altruistic.

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Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A wild, chaotic, Canadian ride from start to finish, where you will not know where the film will pivot to next.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Bird erupt as two men push a wheelbarrow through the city.

Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie Review Introduction

There is one film this year that has been recommended by every single person who has watched it. I tried to catch it in cinemas, but the times never lined up. However, it is finally out on digital I have a roast cooking in the oven, and winter has hit so you want to be inside watching something wild. It is the perfect combination to see if my friends were right about this film or not.
  
So, to set the scene, 17 years after trying to play a gig by their band Nirvanna the Band at the Rivoli, Matt Johnson (Matt Johnson) and Jay McCarrol (Jay McCarrol) have finally come up with a plan to get the gig. It might involve jumping off the CN Tower to advertise their band to a baseball stadium, and they might not have told anyone about it, and no one at the CN Tower knows what is about to happen, or that they are filming a movie.

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The Sheep Detectives – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Who knew if you smashed Knives Out into Chicken Run, you would create something so profoundly charming.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit audio sting, but you don’t need to stay for it.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A sheep swings in a tire.

The Sheep Detectives Review Introduction

It has been a long time since a film charmed me to the core. However, that is just what happened today. Look, if you told me at the start of the year that a Hugh Jackman sheep film would be scoring high on my end-of-the-year list, I would have called you foolish. But the only fool would have been past-me, and present-me is already quite annoyed at past-me, so we can just add this to the list.  

So, to set the scene, in the charming little English town of Denbrook, lives a farmer called George (Hugh Jackman) and his flock of sheep. George loves all his sheep equally and gave them all names, because they are all special. But he also feels that Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Sebastian (Bryan Cranston) are the most special. Everything was going swimmingly at the farm, bar all these weird grudges that seemed to have come out of nowhere. However, one night, after reading the sheep their nighttime story, Lily woke to find George lying in the field dead … murdered. Was it the besmirched innkeeper Beth Pennock (Hong Chau), the failed shepherd Caleb (Tosin Cole), the duplicitous priest Reverend Hillcoate (Kobna Holdbrook-Smith), the grumpy butcher Ham Gilyard (Conleth Hill), or the mysterious Rebecca Hampstead (Molly Gordon)? Whatever the case, the sheep can’t leave the case to local police officer Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun), because he is plainly useless. No, if someone is going to step up and solve this murder, it is going to be someone with four hooves, copious wool, and a penchant for baaing.   

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Mortal Kombat II (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A bloody fun time, if you don’t think about the plot at any point during the runtime.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Johnny Cage at a con booth.

Mortal Kombat II Review Introduction

I think it is safe to say that video game adaptations can be fraught. Indeed, even when we get a solid first entry, the follow-up can often flounder. Back during the height of COVID, we got this bombastic first entry in the Mortal Kombat series. However, it was missing something very important to the game: A Tournament. Well, they are back for round two, and they are ready to fix that omission.   

So, to set the scene, in the days since the first film, everyone realised that they are down one champion after Shao Kahn’s (Martyn Ford) pre-emptive strike. This somehow did not break the rules of the tournament. There are 8 billion humans in Earthrealm, and for some reason, the Gods chose washed-up Hollywood actor Johnny Cage (Karl Urban). He thinks he’s having an aneurysm, but reality hits hard when Johnny is zapped off Earth to face Kitana (Adeline Rudolph), Shao Kahn’s adopted daughter, whose blades cut deep.

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Apex – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An interesting, if very convoluted, survival-horror film.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Sasha hiding in the water.

Apex Review Introduction

As horror still comes in leaps and bounds in 2026, there has been an uptick in the survival-horror space. Today’s film is absolutely playing in that space as it pits two of Hollywood’s biggest stars in a fight across the Australian landscape. And well look, as far as pitches for a film go, that is a solid one.  

So, to set the scene, deep in the grand mountains of the Troll Way of Norway, Sasha (Charlize Theron) and Tommy (Taron Egerton) are making their ascent to the summit. They are the sort of people who find it exhilarating to sleep on the side of a cliff. When the weather turns, they decide, with some reluctance, to head back down, but it is too late, and in the calamity, Tommy does not make it. Months later, Sasha is trying to move on from the tragedy in Australia, out where the terrain is tough, and the satellite signal is poor. Stopping off for supplies, a local, Ben (Taron Egerton), recommends a secluded camping spot, not as secluded as advertised. But worse, as Sasha goes deeper into the bush, she quickly realises that help might not be friendly, and there is something sinister hiding in the bush, something that will give her to the end of a song to run, and then the hunt is on.      

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Touch Me – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While this is a profoundly weird and visually interesting film, the subject matter almost became a walking red flag, undercutting any progress the film could make.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

The four main cast illuminated in red light.

Touch Me Review Introduction

I will always prefer a film that takes risks rather than playing it safe, like having one man battle Hundreds of Beavers or piercing the veil of nostalgic memory through old videos in Aftersun. However, when you make a big swing at doing something profoundly odd, sometimes you miss, and I feel that is the sort of film we are looking at today.
 
So, to set the scene, we open with Joey (Olivia Taylor Dudley) engaging in some immersion therapy, recounting the story of the time she met and then ‘met’ an ‘alien’ called Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci). Joey has been trying to move on with her life, but she keeps getting brought back to that night, bringing with it many conflicting memories. But when her and her roommate Craig’s (Jordan Gavaris) house floods from a non-water plumbing issue and becomes uninhabitable, she has only one choice left, to go back to Brian.  

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