Anaconda (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a wildly silly and meta film that holds back when it should dive all the way in.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to view this film.

A production slate for Anaconda.

Anaconda Review Introduction

Today, we are looking at a film that sold itself to me by its bonkers premise alone: what if the sequel to 1997’s Anaconda was a meta reboot about a group of filmmakers trying to film a sequel to 1997’s Anaconda. It is a premise so profoundly silly that you must see just how they pull it off, and the answer is very meta indeed.

So, to set the scene, Ronald “Griff” Griffen Jr. (Paul Rudd) is a background actor in Hollywood whose only notable role was a four-episode stint on S.W.A.T. Well, after another failed audition, he sees a poster for the 1997 film Anaconda and gets an idea. He returns home to Buffalo, New York, to inform his friends that he has secured the rights to the Anaconda franchise so they can make one of the films they used to make when they were kids. It is a profoundly silly idea, but soon wedding videographer Doug McCallister (Jack Black), recently divorced lawyer Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton), and now Buffalo sober Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn) find themselves in Manaus, Brazil, looking at snake handler Carlos Santiago Braga (Selton Mello) and his pet anaconda. They take a boat deep into the jungle to start filming, but little do they know that when filming Anaconda, there may be an anaconda hunting them.      

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Atlas – Movie Review

TL;DR – It has a rough start, but kind of finds its feet, but probably long after most of switched it off.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

The Mech.

Atlas Review

Well, if there has been one technology that can define the 2020s, it is AI. As much as that affects behind-the-scenes in exciting but also exploitive and dubious ways, we are also going to see that come to the forefront of narratives. Today’s film does just that as we dive into the world on the edge.

So to set the scene, everything was going fine on Earth until one day, every AI robotic component on Earth rebelled, killing millions. All the damage was seemingly set off by one Robot called Harlan (Simu Liu) who helped kill millions before what was left of the world combined under the ICN and fought back. Harlan escaped the planet, but twenty-eight years later, he legacy of destruction is felt by all. No more so than Atlas Shepherd (Jennifer Lopez) who grew up with Harlan as a child. When one of Harlan’s top lieutenants, Casca Vix (Abraham Popoola), was captured on Earth, everyone knew he was ready to return, the one thing Atlas was fighting to stop.

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The Mother – Movie Review

TL;DR – A straightforward action film that is elevated by a strong bond.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film

An explosion of Ice and Fire.

The Mother Review

In recent years, it has been nice to see many actors have a resurgent cinema career. One of those has been Jennifer Lopez, who jumped back with Hustlers, then Marry Me, and now we shift to the world of Action with The Mother, and she fits well into this world.

So to set the scene, it is a quiet morning in suburban Linton, Indiana, where an FBI safe house is nestled between all the homes. It is here where FBI Agent William Cruise (Omari Hardwick) is debriefing a new informant, The Mother (Jennifer Lopez), about her role in securing an arms deal between Hector Álvarez (Gael García Bernal) and Adrian Lovell (Joseph Fiennes). When the safe house is breached by armed assailants and all the FBI agents are shot, we discover that there is a reason that they are hunting The Mother. However, she has more than a few tricks of her own, and it is not only her life she is protecting.  

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Marry Me – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a film that oozes charm from start to finish, an absolute delight

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit sequence

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film

Marry Me. Image Credit: Universal Pictures.

Marry Me Review

It is the time of year when romantic films explode out of the ether, as everyone and their dog try to make the most of the upcoming Valentine’s Day. This can lead to many soulless, one-note productions, the latest romantic comedy just going through the motions. However, among all of these entries, the gems smash through and leave a mark in their wake. This week we look at just such a film that might not be travelling over the new ground but was still a joy at every moment.   

So to set the scene, the whole world is gearing up for the most prominent social media event of the decade. Power couple and performers Katalina “Kat” Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) and Bastian (Maluma) will be releasing their new duet Marry Me at a concert streamed to millions and millions of people. After the duet, they would marry each other in front of the whole world. Meanwhile, a New York dad and maths teacher Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson), is trying to reconnect with his daughter Lou (Chloe Coleman) when he gets roped in by his best friend Parker Debbs (Sarah Silverman) to come to the concert. The concert goes off without a hitch when just moments before they were about to have their vows, a news report leaks about Bastion being unfaithful. While Kat’s manager Collin Calloway (John Bradley), tries to work out what to do, Kat takes matters into her own hands and, seeing Charlie holding a ‘Marry Me’ sign, decides what the hell and marries him instead.  

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