Smurfs (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – A complete mess of a film that fundamentally does not understand who it wants to be for, and in its attempt to be for everyone, it becomes a movie for no one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – There are sequences with flashing lights.

Smurfette.

Smurfs Review

Sometimes, as a reviewer, you have to contend with reviewing films that you are clearly not the target demographic for, where you need to pull yourself out of the setting for a bit and experience it like the intended audience. But that all depends on one thing: the film actually working with the people they want it to.

So, to set the scene, a long time ago, four evil wizards captured four magical books and tried to steal all that is good in the world, but luckily, one of the books escaped and the spell was ruined. Some time later, all the Smurfs of Smurf village have come together to sing their daily song. But there is one Smurf out of sync: No Name Smurf (James Corden). Smurfette (Rihanna) tries to help No Name Smurf to find his thing, when even Shark Trainer Smurf was taken. However, as they were getting Smurfberries, No Name Smurf finds his secret talent, magic. But there has never been a Magic Smurf, and we find out why when a magical pulse tips off Razamel (JP Karliak) as to where Smurf Village is, and he captures Papa Smurf (John Goodman) so he can tell him where the last book is. Now the Smurfs have to go on a rescue mission to save Papa Smurf and the whole world.

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Red One – Movie Review

TL;DR – If it was not for a strong start, you probably could have dumped this on Netflix, and no one would have noticed.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Santa Clause lifting weights.

Red One Review

It is that time of year, and it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The shops are dressed up, there is the looming pressure to finish things up before the end of the year, and walking outside feels like taking a shower with this humidity. It is here that a new flood of Christmas Films will be launched, trying to make the most of the holidays, and that is what we are looking at today.

So, to set the scene, it is a cold Philly night just before Christmas, and at the mall sits Santa Claus (J. K. Simmons), listening to all the kid’s wishes for presents and being protected by Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson). But this ain’t no average mall Santa because Santa Claus is real, and there is a global military/political/intelligence apparatus keeping him safe. Well, that is until Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) is paid to hunt down a disturbance in the polar region, and some kidnaps Santa right under the head of North Pole security’s nose on Christmas Eve.

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Don’t Worry Darling – Movie Review

TL;DR – While it nails the style, and the cast is giving their all, there is a lack of substance.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film

Warning – Some scenes may cause distress.

Cars drive out to the headquarters.

Don’t Worry Darling Review

I am not sure any film has quite had as rough a publicity tour as Don’t Worry Darling for quite a while. It felt that every week there was some new drama going on behind the scenes, real or imagined. While this could have derailed the film for me, I quite liked the first trailer, I enjoyed Olivia Wilde’s first directorial work with Booksmart, and look Florence Pugh, and Chris Pine always give great performances. Which meant I was intrigued to see just how this would all play out.

So to set the scene, we open in The Victory Project, a company town in the middle of the desert where all the women stay home manning the house while their husbands go to a mysterious headquarters working on secret new materials. In a perfect house filled with every modern convenience, Alice Chambers (Florence Pugh) gets breakfast ready for her husband Jack (Harry Styles) and watches with the neighbourhood as all the men leave for work simultaneously. She spends her days cleaning the house, making dinner, rehearsing ballet, and drinking with her best friend and neighbour Bunny (Olivia Wilde). The couple enjoys being young and fun, days drinking with friends, and nights partying with the neighbours. Things are going well for both of them. But as they chat at a party held by the boss Jack Chambers (Chris Pine) and his wife Shelly (Gemma Chan), their former friend Margaret (KiKi Layne) questions everything, and soon it has Alice wondering too.  

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Movie Review – The House (2017)

TL;DR – One of the funnier films I have seen this year, a great example of what happens when fools rush in when angels dare to tread.

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

The House. Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Review

What would you do to avoid crushing your daughter’s dreams to go to college, how far will you go? That is the basic premise behind The House, in this case referring to the fact that in casinos ‘The House’ always wins. So can they make this truly silly premise work, all will it crash and burn, well let’s take a look.

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Movie Review – Sausage Party

TL;DR – Wow, this movie is all kind of messed up, but it is also really quite interesting at times, but the whole anti-Toy Story spin does start to wear thin after a while.

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Sausage Party. Image Credit: Sony.

Review

I think for the first time since Deadpool (Review) I need to open up this review with a clear advisory warning, this is not a movie for children, it is full of violence, sex, drugs, and language, please for the love of everything do not take your 5 year olds to it. As well as this, I am sure that Sausage Party will offend a lot of people, which should come to no surprise given Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s last film The Interview (Review) was so offensive to North Korea they went out of their way to stop it showing in theatres, but this is something to prepare yourself for, if you plan to go watch it.

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