Eternals – Movie Review

TL;DR – Not bad, not great, but a very okay origin story  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Eternals. Image Credit: Disney.

Eternals Review

We are at an interesting point in Marvel/Disney’s grand experiment in the form of the MCU. Because after 30-odd films and other entertainment productions, Phase 4 has brought us back to the start thanks to the fallout of Endgame. Sequels have given way to origin stories again. Well, today, we dive into the next origin after Shang-Chi, telling a story of people who have been there since the start but whom we are just meeting now.

So to set the scene, at the start of the universe, the great Celestials created life across the galaxy. But soon, creatures called evolved called Deviants that hunted down life. In response, the Celestials called together the Eternals and sent them across the galaxy to protect planets full of life. Ajak (Salma Hayek) the leader and link to the Celestials, Sersi (Gemma Chan), who can change matter, Ikaris (Richard Madden), who can fly, Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), who shoots energy from their hands, Sprite (Lia McHugh) who can project illusions, Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry) who is a great inventor, Makkari (Lauren Ridloff) who can run so fast, Gilgamesh (Don Lee) with mighty fists, Thena (Angelina Jolie) who can create bladed weapons, and Druig (Barry Keoghan) who can control minds. They arrived at the shores of Mesopotamia and entered the fight to protect life. Today, Sersi is a teacher at the Natural History Museum in London. When a global earthquake hits, everyone realises that something is going very wrong.

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Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard) – Movie Review

TL;DR – More of the same, so if you know how you feel about the first film, well, not much has changed    

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene and something at the end.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard). Image Credit: Roadshow Films.

Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Review

A few years ago, there was this small weird film that slipped into cinemas. The Hitman’s Bodyguard was a fairly average action film, with all the narrative beats that you would expect. However, with some good cinematography, action set pieces, and a cast that bought entirely into the premise, it turned out to be more than the sum of its parts. I wondered if they could capture that same energy twice, and the answer is both yes and no.

So to set the scene, Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is no longer an AAA-rated executive protection agent, as the organisation took umbrage that he took a bullet for a known hitman. After some counselling from his therapist (Rebecca Front), he decides to instead of waiting for the review board he would take a sabbatical from bodyguarding and fly to Capri for a relaxing holiday. Which lasts about five seconds until Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek) arrives guns blazing as the Mafia has captured Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson), and only Michael can set him free.

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Movie Review – The Hitman’s Bodyguard

TL;DR – A good case study on why it is so important to get your casting right

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

P.S. – There is an end credit thingy

The Hitman's Bodyguard. Image Credit: Lionsgate.

Review

Making a film is a very difficult process, at every point, there are decisions that you need to make, some of which can make or break your film, and you might not even know what the outcome is until the film is released. Should you rewrite your dark realistic film to be a comedy week’s out from shooting, it’s a big risk, but it is one that I think made The Hitman’s Bodyguard a better film, or at least a film that suited its cast much better. Though before we go on, while I kind of liked it, you need to know it is a type of film that I’m pretty sure the f@#$ counter is in triple digits, and you probably know just from that if this is a movie for you.

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Movie Review – Sausage Party

TL;DR – Wow, this movie is all kind of messed up, but it is also really quite interesting at times, but the whole anti-Toy Story spin does start to wear thin after a while.

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Sausage Party. Image Credit: Sony.

Review

I think for the first time since Deadpool (Review) I need to open up this review with a clear advisory warning, this is not a movie for children, it is full of violence, sex, drugs, and language, please for the love of everything do not take your 5 year olds to it. As well as this, I am sure that Sausage Party will offend a lot of people, which should come to no surprise given Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s last film The Interview (Review) was so offensive to North Korea they went out of their way to stop it showing in theatres, but this is something to prepare yourself for, if you plan to go watch it.

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