TL;DR – A movie that has good moments, but is hamstrung by its narrative framing device that was unhelpful and unneeded
Score – 3 out of 5 stars
Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit scene but not one you need to stay back for
When you grow up there are these touchstone moments as you discover the world
of cinema. For me, and I would say a lot of people in my generation that grew
up in Australia, the original Storm Boy
movie was one of those moments (well until you have to write an essay on it for
English, which was the worst. Well, it
has been many years since I have watched the original, so I was really interested
when I heard they were remaking it, well that was until I saw it.
So to set the scene, we do not start with the story of the pelicans, but instead, we begin many years later when Storm Boy
has grown into being an old man (Geoffrey Rush). He is back in Australia
because his son-in-law (Erik Thomson) is holding a vote to allow mining on his
company’s pastoral land. The old man’s granddaughter Madeline (Morgana Davies)
is very much opposed to it, but he is all just a bit ambivalent to it because
it is not really his business anymore. But before the vote could be cast a
storm damages the building and we get a day’s pause. It is during this time
that he decided to tell his granddaughter the story of when he was a child (Finn
Little) and he and Fingerbone Bill (Trevor Jamieson) found some baby pelicans,
orphaned after hunters killed their parents.
TL;DR – This is a paint by numbers film with no direction or heart, a real disappointment, and the better title is probably Pirates of The Caribbean: Coincidence on the High Seas
Score – 2 out of 5 stars
P.S. – There is a post-credit scene
So here we are looking at the fifth film in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, and I’m sitting here wondering where it all went wrong. The first Pirates of the Caribbean was one of those breaths of fresh air that pop up every now and again, a brilliant standalone film, reinvigorating a genre of film that had disappeared, and it had one of the greatest character entrances in film history. Its two follow-up films which completed a trilogy of sorts were not as good as the first but fine films in their own right. However, the last film felt more like a continuation out of necessity rather than a new story that they felt needed to be told, and this continues in Dead Men Tell No Tales. So at this point, it should be no surprise that I didn’t like the fifth Pirates of The Caribbean film so we’re going to break down what worked and what didn’t and one of those lists is going to be bigger than the other.
TL;DR – You will forget this movie within moments of watching it, I mean I had to take notes so I didn’t forget, average in every possible way.
Score – 2 out of 5 stars
Ah Gods of Egypt, you are the very embodiment of mediocracy, you are the ‘slice of white bread’ of cinema, nothing wrong with white bread, but it is inherently lacking in substance. So before I go ahead and rip into the film for the next few paragraphs I should make it clear that Gods of Egypt is just average, not necessarily bad, but just tremendously average. So what I am going to do is use Gods of Egypt as a case study on how an expensive film can come out just so bland.