Murder on the Orient Express (2017) – Movie Review [Exploring the Past]

TL;DR – A perfectly pleasant presentation of Poirot’s perceived peculiarities as he pertains the proceeds of a pernicious passing.     

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ streaming service that viewed this film

The Orient Express on a mountainside.

Murder on the Orient Express Review

Every year, you intend to see one or two films, but they manage to slip out of your hands like the one fish they need to eat in Alone. In 2017, one of those films was Murder on the Orient Express, a modern adaptation of the classic book and film. Indeed, if nothing else, the cast list alone merits giving this one a watch. Today, given that I am about to watch the sequel, it felt like a better now than never prospect, so let’s dive in.  

So to set the scene, it is 1934, and we start in Jerusalem at The Wailing Wall, where hotel staff are making eggs for a painfully precise Poirot (Kenneth Branagh). A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Iman are accused of stealing a relic, and the city is about to explode into a riot. Well, one arrested police chief later, and a boat ride to Istanbul, Hercule Poirot and an assortment of colourful characters board the famous/infamous Orient Express, three days of peace and no crime, bar for a bit of murder discovered after an avalanche derails the train. A train full of people, one of them a killer, and the threat that more may die before the snow is cleared.

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Movie Review – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

TL;DR – This is a paint by numbers film with no direction or heart, a real disappointment, and the better title is probably Pirates of The Caribbean: Coincidence on the High Seas

Score – 2 out of 5 stars

P.S. – There is a post-credit scene

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Image Credit: Disney.

Review

So here we are looking at the fifth film in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, and I’m sitting here wondering where it all went wrong. The first Pirates of the Caribbean was one of those breaths of fresh air that pop up every now and again, a brilliant standalone film, reinvigorating a genre of film that had disappeared, and it had one of the greatest character entrances in film history. Its two follow-up films which completed a trilogy of sorts were not as good as the first but fine films in their own right. However, the last film felt more like a continuation out of necessity rather than a new story that they felt needed to be told, and this continues in Dead Men Tell No Tales. So at this point, it should be no surprise that I didn’t like the fifth Pirates of The Caribbean film so we’re going to break down what worked and what didn’t and one of those lists is going to be bigger than the other.

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Movie Review – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

TL;DR – Is Fantastic Beasts a perfect film, no, but it is a really entertaining one, and it is a good continuation of the Harry Potter universe

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Review

I came late to the whole Harry Potter universe, I didn’t read the books growing up, and in fact, I was quite old when I eventually read them all. If memory serves me correctly, I read through them all back to back, and watched all the films, in-between Deathly Hallows Part 2 being in the cinemas and when it was out on DVD. So I have always come to the Harry Potter Universe in a different manner, so for me, the books dramatically improve after that twist at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire because I liked the more mature tone. But I know that for many people the opposite is true, so I was interested to see how I was going to respond to this newest entry into the Harry Potter Universe – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – The first film in this universe I got to see at the cinemas.

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Movie Review – Black Mass

TL;DR – “This is … This is … This is…. ‘What?’ .. This is borrrrring” Scott Pilgrim

Score – 2 out of 5 stars

Black Mass. Image Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

Review

Black Mass is a ‘true’ story about how the FBI ended up being entangled with an Irish-American mobster James ‘Whitey’ Bulger from Boston in an attempt to take down the local Italian Mafia, leading to the FBI ‘unexpectedly’ backing Whitey into becoming the crime lord of Boston. So during Black Mass, we get to see the rise and fall of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger and his Winter-Hill Gang, and that’s not a spoiler because they tell you that in the first couple of minutes of the film. Before we go on I cannot tell you how true the ‘based on True Events’ tag is, I mean I could research it, but the film honestly does not feel like it is worth the effort.

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