TL;DR – This is one of those films where you walk out thinking three things, 1) how dare you charge people money to see this, 2) I am embarrassed for everyone involved in the film & 3) how dare you charge people money to see this
Score – 0 out of 5 stars
Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene
Sometimes you see a film and you have to wonder ‘how did this get greenlit’, like people paid over 40 million dollars to put this together, agents recommended this movie to their clients, and they even got Alan Menken to write a story. However, instead of being excited when every big name cast member walked onto the film, you felt sad, like ‘oh no, they dragged Hugh Laurie into this mess too.’ Why is that, well this is because this is the worst film I have seen all year, and since I am writing this on the 31st of December, I doubt that will be surpassed because this is also the worst film I have ever reviewed. Hey good news Pixels, you are not on the bottom anymore.
TL;DR – A masterpiece in tension and the bonds of family, where every moment has you on the edge of your seat.
Score – 5 out of 5 stars
Post-Credit Scene – There is no Post-Credit Scene
Now today before we start I want to do something a little be different than the norm. If you are a fan of sci-fi, horror, monster films, or films that take creative risks then I want you to stop reading this review right now and go see A Quiet Place, Trust me it is well worth your time, and you will want to go in with as little pre-knowledge as possible other than it is an expertly created film with a compelling narrative. For those who have seen the film or everyone else who is jumping ahead let’s take look at the masterpiece that is A Quiet Place.
TL;DR – What a waste of time this film was, save yourself the trouble and go see something else like Thor
Score – 1 out of 5 stars
To give you an overall impression of the film, at the end of the film as the screen faded to black I was stunned by how a film with such a talented cast could be so bad, so I wondered who could have directed that mess. It was at this point when ‘Directed by George Clooney’ popped up on the screen, and I was shocked, because from my experience George is a talented director. However, then I went, ok look no matter who the director is, if the original script was bad there might be not much they could have done to make it a workable film. Well, it was at this point that the writing credits appeared and when I saw Joel Coen, Ethan Coen & George Clooney’s names I audibly gasped in the cinema. I was completely not expecting a film of this level of disaster to be crafted by people that make masterpieces. So you can probably tell from just that what my feeling about Suburbicon was, but today we’ll go into detail about just what went wrong, and there are a lot of things.