Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Strays – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While some moments made me laugh, and the film grossed me out in the places they expected it to, I found the ending left a bad taste in my mouth.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – This film depicts scenes of abuse.

Reggie jumping through grass.

Strays Review –

Comedies are always the most challenging films to review because while all movies are subjective, humour is the most personal form of art you can get. Point and case, our film today, where half the audience sat in disgust, and the others were laughing with all their hearts. With that in mind, let us dive into Strays.

So to set the scene, Reggie (Will Ferrell) is a little mutt that lives with Doug (Will Forte). Reggie loves Doug, and Doug hates Reggie. When Doug is given an eviction notice, he starts playing a game with Reggie where he plays Fetch and Fuck. He drives Reggie far away from his house, throws a ball, and then utters the expletive when Reggie eventually finds his way home. After this happens repeatedly, Doug finds a different tactic and drives Reggie to a city a long way away. Reggie is lost and finds some friends in Bug (Jamie Foxx), Maggie (Isla Fisher), and Hunter (Randall Park), who help him realise that he has been abandoned. He is a stray. But now it is Reggie’s time to get some revenge.

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Heart of Stone – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A shallow experience that never finds its feet.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Stone walks across sand dunes.

Heart of Stone Review –

We have seen many different films attempt to capture the allure that James Bond has over the spy genre. In fact, in the last year, streaming services alone have tried Citadel, Ghosted, and The Gray Man, to name but a few. But all of them have fallen flat. However, there always is a chance that the next attempt will be the one to land, and this is what we are looking at today.

So to set the scene, it is the Italian Alps and Rachel Stone (Gal Gadot) and her MI6 team are targeting Europe’s biggest arms dealer. Stone is just a tech assist, but this mission forces her into the field when she needs to hack a phone to let Parker (Gal Gadot) and Yang (Jing Lusi) deeper into the complex. However, when things go to pot, we discover that Stone is no lowly tech analyst and is not just playing for MI6. She works for Charter, a clandestine spy organisation that works above national borders. But who watches the watchers?   

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The Last Voyage of the Demeter (Dracula: Voyage of the Demeter) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An interesting idea and a tense watch, but it never seems to find its feet and feels drawn out.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Dracula appearing in the night.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter Review –

Well, it looks like vampires are back in vogue, specifically the first pop-culture vampiric icon, Dracula. Already this year, we have gotten Renfield, a more satirical take on the walking unholy monster that lives off the blood of others. But today, we dive back into a more traditional horror telling of the character building from an exert of the original Bram Stoker novel.

So to set the scene, it is July 6th, 1897, and in the port of Varna in Bulgaria, the merchant ship Demeter has docked to pick up cargo and welcome new hands. Captain Elliot (Liam Cunningham) is impressed by Clemens’ (Corey Hawkins) quick actions in saving his grandson Toby (Woody Norman) from a falling crate, so he lets him come on as the ship’s doctor. But some of these new crates are stamped with a dragon, which freaks out one of the new crew members, who runs off the ship before they can embark. All is fine until one of the crates falls over as they pass through the Aegean Sea, and they fine a girl barely alive. It is then that the killings start.

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Ready or Not (2019) – Exploring the Past

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TL;DR – An electric tense film with more than one moment that made me audibly gasp

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

The family lines up to start hunting.

Ready or Not Review –

Every year there are films you want to see that just slip you by, and today’s film is one of those. I had always meant to see Ready or Not in cinemas, but the session times never lined up. It also missed my end-of-year wrap-up because it didn’t have a solid streaming option yet. This week, I was reminded again of how interesting this film is, and now is better than never.    
 
So to set the scene, Grace (Samara Weaving) is back in her husband-to-be Alex’s (Mark O’Brien) old house, well more mansion. It is a tradition in the le Domas household that all weddings happen on the manor grounds, and while Alex has been estranged from his family for a while, tradition is tradition. Alex’s mother, Becky (Andie MacDowell), hopes this could start a reconciliation between Alex and his family. Grace hopes this could be the family she never had growing up. The le Domas family has a lot of traditions and a weird aunt Helene (Nicky Guadagni), but mostly traditions. One is that on the day someone marries into the family, they must draw a card at midnight and play a game. The le Domas made their money in board games, so this is not completely weird. But what is odd is that when Grace pulls the ‘Hide and Seak’ card, weapons start being removed from the walls.

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Red, White & Royal Blue – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A perfectly fine rom-com, but the narrative never gets beyond the surface level.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime service that viewed this film.

A forced photo shoot.

Red, White & Royal Blue Review –

While some might find them sappy, I will openly admit that I love a good rom-com, especially an excellent political rom-com like Dave or The American President. In fact, I have not seen one of these in quite a while, so when I heard there was a new one out on Amazon, well, I had to check it out.

So to set the scene, we are in London at Westminster Abby, where Prince Philip (Thomas Flynn), the future King, has married his childhood friend Martha (Bridget Benstead). But this is not the heart of the story because also in attendance is Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine), his sister Princess Beatrice (Ellie Bamber), the son of the President of America Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez) and the granddaughter of the Vice President, Nora Holleran (Rachel Hilson). Henry and Alex intensely dislike each other, shenanigans occur, and oh, is that a falling cake and a forced fake press damage control tour?  

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Asteroid City – Movie Review

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TL;DR – The framing device does not work, but that is not a significant issue, as it is still an entertaining romp even without it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Mechanics.

Asteroid City Review –

Wes Anderson is one of those filmmakers with entirely his own style and can delight or confuse. Before I see one of his films, I am always wondering which way the pendulum will swing for me, and I think this is one of his works that will hit people differently. As I have heard people gushing over it and others bringing a more meh response. But it is finally time for the film in Australia, and it is time for us to check it out.

So to set the scene, we are introduced to a Host (Bryan Cranston) that introduces us to an anthology TV series that is showing the story behind the stage play Asteroid City by noted playwright Conrad Earp (Edward Norton), which is then presented to us as the movie proper. In a small out of the way town of Asteroid City in the middle of the American desert, there is a crater, an inn, a research centre, and an unfinished overpass. Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), a noted war photojournalist, has arrived officially because his son Woodrow (Jake Ryan)  is a Junior Stargazer. Still, unofficially because their mother is dead, and he is about to dump his kids on their grandfather Stanley (Tom Hanks). But things change when he meets Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson), and oh, the world changes.  

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Sisu – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An electric meditation on violence and the lengths people will go to survive.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

A horse rides over the Lapland countryside.

Sisu Review –

Violence can be used for many things in cinema. It can be shocking, used for humour, tell a moral, used to scare, or even offend. Recently, we have seen the popularisation of the reverse slasher film, where you rally behind those dishing out the violence. We can all rally behind John Wick as he takes down those who killed his dog, but can we translate that into a war setting? Well, this is what we are exploring today.

So to set the scene, in 1944, it was the closing months of WW2, and after Finland signed the Moscow Armistice, they were required to evict any Nazi presence from the country. The Nazis then start a scorched earth campaign as they retreat through Lapland to reach the Norwegian border. Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila) lives in the Lapland wilderness, mining for gold with his dog and horse as the only companions. After finding a rich gold reef, he returns to Helsinki to deposit it at the bank when he comes across Bruno Helldorf (Aksel Hennie) and his retreating SS platoon. This first group lets him pass, but carnage breaks loose when the second spots the gold.

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Gran Turismo (Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It takes what could have been a boilerplate story and brings it into overdrive with the roar of an engine that rumbles through the cinema.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Jann in his racing helmet.

Gran Turismo Review –

There have been a lot of adaptations of video games from Sony at the cinema recently, some good, some bad, and occasionally they can be fantastic. But what we are looking at today is a little bit different. Sure, it is based on and named after a video game, Gran Turismo. However, its full release title here in Australia, Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story, should give you a hint that something else is going on here. Something quite interesting.

So to set the scene, Danny Moore (Orlando Bloom) is a marketing manager from Nissan’s England division, and he has found a problem. Young people don’t care about cars anymore. They are the generation of Uber and such. He flies to Tokyo to Nissan head office to suggest a contest to fix that issue. Because game designer Kazunori Yamauchi (Takehiro Hira) from Polyphony Digital has recreated car racing down to the minutest details in his game/simulation Gran Turismo, if they create a competition where the best drivers in the sim get a chance to be a ready race car driver, they could ignite the passions of an entire player base in driving again. Well, one of those players is Jann Mardenborough (Archie Madekwe), a kid from Cardiff, who is trying to forward his passion in life when everyone else just sees it as a game, and well he is here to prove them all wrong.

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Meg 2: The Trench – Movie Review

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TL;DR –Well, Meg 2 is an absolutely abysmal film that flounders at almost every stage while it fails at every front of knowing what sort of film it wants to be.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

They walk through the Trench.

Meg 2 Review –

Well, blast, look, honestly, I didn’t see this coming. I was someone who quite liked the first Meg because it scratched that perfect dumb but fun itch that you can get with over-the-top action films. It wasn’t a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still entertaining. So, surely a second attempt at this world will at least be amusing… well, unfortunately not.

So to set the scene, it has been some time since the first film, and Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) has been working for the Oceanic Institute based out of Hainan, China, for Jiuming Zhang (Wu Jing). But on his days off, he clandestinely monitors any shady people who could be harming the environment, such as the cargo shin The Kitty Blue that is illegally dumping radioactive material into the Philippine Sea. But things go amiss when the Meg Haiqi breaks out of their enclosure, and they find that they are not the only humans at the bottom of The Trench.

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Star Trek: Strange New Worlds – Subspace Rhapsody– TV Review

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TL;DR – Look, this was just fun from start to finish.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Paramount+ streaming service that viewed this episode. 

The USS Enterprise near the subspace fold.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Review –

Voltaire once periportally said, ‘Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.’ And I have seen many examples when that rings true. So, you would think that suddenly dropping a musical episode would be a significant risk. But My Musical from Scrubs and Once More, With Feeling from Buffy has shown that you can shine if you put your all into it.

So to set the scene, the USS Enterprise has found a subspace fold that could be used to boost subspace communications across the sector. Many attempts have failed, and Spock (Ethan Peck) and Uhura (Celia Rose Gooding) are at their wit’s end when Pelia (Carol Kane) recommends trying music. It causes an effect, just not the one they were looking for when the whole crew starts singing, which is most peculiar. Now from here, we will be looking at the episode as a whole, so there will be [SPOILERS] ahead.

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