Murder on the Orient Express (2017) – Movie Review [Exploring the Past]

TL;DR – A perfectly pleasant presentation of Poirot’s perceived peculiarities as he pertains the proceeds of a pernicious passing.     

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ streaming service that viewed this film

The Orient Express on a mountainside.

Murder on the Orient Express Review

Every year, you intend to see one or two films, but they manage to slip out of your hands like the one fish they need to eat in Alone. In 2017, one of those films was Murder on the Orient Express, a modern adaptation of the classic book and film. Indeed, if nothing else, the cast list alone merits giving this one a watch. Today, given that I am about to watch the sequel, it felt like a better now than never prospect, so let’s dive in.  

So to set the scene, it is 1934, and we start in Jerusalem at The Wailing Wall, where hotel staff are making eggs for a painfully precise Poirot (Kenneth Branagh). A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Iman are accused of stealing a relic, and the city is about to explode into a riot. Well, one arrested police chief later, and a boat ride to Istanbul, Hercule Poirot and an assortment of colourful characters board the famous/infamous Orient Express, three days of peace and no crime, bar for a bit of murder discovered after an avalanche derails the train. A train full of people, one of them a killer, and the threat that more may die before the snow is cleared.

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Movie Review – Olaf’s Frozen Adventure 

TL;DR – Honestly this is stock standard children’s entertainment, it is shallow, with no stakes, has no character progression, and tries to distract you with as many songs as possible, I expected better.

Score – 2 out of 5 stars

Olaf's Frozen Adventure. Image Credit: Disney.

Review

Ok, I might be one of the few dozens of people left on this planet that has not seen Frozen, but from my understanding, it is a more or less a charming story about the bonds of sisterhood overcoming all opposition. So when I was in watching Coco (see review) and it opened instead with a Frozen short I was like ‘sure whatever’ you know sometimes these can be really good like Lou (see review) that was on before Cars 3 earlier this year … unfortunately, this was not one of the good ones.

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Movie Review – Beauty and the Beast (2017)

TL;DR – It is a beautiful recreation of the original film with a great cast and music, but while it is good, it does not do enough to separate itself from its animated inspiration.

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

Beauty and the Beast. Image Credit: Disney.

Review

Beauty and the Beast was the crown jewel of the Disney Renaissance in the 1990s and were one of the few animated films to ever be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. As a film, it is as majestic today as it was when it was released, and that’s a testament to the original songs and animation. So for any movie that adapts the classic La Belle et la Bête is going to have the issue of being compared to one of the greatest films that have been made, so how do you compete with such a legacy, how do you set your work apart from that classic film … well, how about you do a mostly shot by shot remake of the original. So not only is this the 3rd remake we have had in the row (see Power Rangers & Ghost in the Shell), it is also the next in this long line of live-action remakes of classic Disney films (see The Jungle Book) which only Pete’s Dragon has really worked for me. So with all these remakes floating around how does Beauty and the Beast compare with its past as well as the current cinematic landscape, well that is the question that we will be exploring today. Now since this is a movie based off a 1991 movie based on a story written in 1740 there may be some spoilers here, but the movie has been out for quite a while.

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Movie Review – Pixels

TL,DR – Is this the train wreck everyone said it would be, yes, this is an abomination of cinema, Do Not Waste Your Money On It.

Score – 0.5 out of 5 stars

Pixels. Image Credit: Sony.

Review

There was a time a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away when I quite enjoyed Adam Sandler films. Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy, 50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer are all classic films worthy of a re-watch. As time when on I just stopped liking them, but hey people grow up, tastes change, and you know Adam Sandler goes out of his way to keep his friends employed every year, so kudos to that. But as time goes on and it is just one terrible film after another, it has me wondering, is there ever going to be an Adam Sandler film that I like again?, is Pixels going to be that film?, No, no it’s not.

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