Tag Archives: Film

Borderlands – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While I will give it points for getting some of the visual style right, and something must have gotten that cast to sign up. But the final product was a soulless mess of nothingness.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene that you don’t need to stay for.

Warning – There is strobing effects.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Space Station around Pandora.

Borderlands Review –

For a long time, there has been a question about whether you can write an engaging video game adaptation? They have been hit and miss, and many were just made for tax write-offs [allegedly]. However, in recent years, we have found that you can make that translation on both TV and in the cinema, which makes it even more frustrating that we take a return to the past with today’s entry.  

So, to set the scene, we open around the planet of Pandora, where a secret vault containing alien information has drawn vault hunters for generations, leaving the planet trashed and strewn with violent gangs. One man who is after that power is Atlas (Edgar Ramírez), which makes it concerning when one of his own soldiers, Roland (Kevin Hart), kidnaps his daughter Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) and takes her into the quagmire. It has been months, and no one has been able to find her, which is when he goes to Lilith (Cate Blanchett), the one bounty hunter that can take on the planet because she used to live there.

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The Delicate Cycle – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It makes the most of its one location to explore the emotions of significant life changes.     

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

A washing machine about to start.

The Delicate Cycle Review –

While a short film can be constraining, those limitations can be turned into strengths. You can concentrate things down into their core forms. For example, that transient information that gets passed down from generation to generation. Today, we are looking at a film that is working in that space.  

So, to set the scene, it is just a typical day for Lance (Fred Mancuso) as he gets into the laundromat as early as possible to get his clothes done. Usually, there is no one there, bar maybe Anita (Yassmin Flores), but today there was someone new, a young kid called Adam (Dean Norris Jr.) who is in the process of trying to win at Ms Pacman but also struggling with his emotions.

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Kill – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A bloody rampage of action that perfectly uses the medium of a train to tell its story of revenge.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Amrit, bloodied on the floor surrounded by bandits.

Kill Review –

There are times when you want to sit down and watch a bloody action romp on screen. Fists throwing, legs kicking, knives slashing, and all that jazz. But what if you could get that and get something a little new that you have never seen before? Well, that is what we are getting today with one of the bloodiest action romps I have seen in an age.

So, to set the scene, Amrit (Lakshya) and Viresh (Abhishek Chauhan) are captains and commandos in the Indian Army. When they return from the field, they find out that Amrit’s love Tulika (Tanya Maniktala) has been betrothed to another. Amrit and Viresh try to rescue her from the engagement party, but there are too many families with assorted weapons. However, the next day, Tulika, her sister Aahna (Adrija Sinha), her father Baldev Singh Thakur (Harsh Chhaya), and the rest of her family are taking an overnight train back to Delhi. So, Amrit and Viresh tag along, hoping for a better chance there. The only problem is that Fani (Raghav Juyal) and his extended family are also on the train, and they are about to rob it.    

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Arena Wars – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is an ambitious film, and while I don’t think it ever reached that ambition, it was fascinating to watch.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a scene throughout the credits.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

The Big F##king City

Arena Wars Review –

Today, we are looking at a difficult film to review because you get pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, as a critic, I need to review what is on the screen, but as a human being, you can also see the potential that could have been.

So, to set the film, it is 2045, and in The Big F##king City, there is only one way that convicted felons can get out: by appearing on Arena Wars, a TV show that everyone watches, well everyone used to watch. The convicts have to fight through seven different rooms with seven violent killers in them to be able to go free. The brand is on life support, and they need to win back the audience that is becoming bored of death. In the Rodimus Federal Prison in the Washington DC City State, Luke Bender (John Wells) is sitting with a 200-year sentence, covering for their superiors who stuffed up. But they need a hero for the arena, and Luke is in the wrong place at the wrong time.     

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Hundreds of Beavers – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It was a completely wild ride from start to finish. I am not sure I have ever seen a film like this before, and I doubt I will ever again.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Jean Kayak pops out of a hole.

Hundreds of Beavers Review –

For the last year, I kept hearing rumblings of this weird Beavers film that everyone needed to see. It is super low budget, weird in every way, yet utterly engaging. It is the sort of film that never gets a theatrical realise in Australia; well, that is, it does not usually get one. I was fundamentally surprised to see this was not the case here, but more than that, I was excited to see just how a film like this could come together, and I am not sure if anything prepared me for this.  

So, to set the scene, deep in the 19th century, Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) is an applejack producer, a very alcoholic liquor that everyone near and wide travels to, given how good it is. However, a stray beaver damages the giant kegs storing the Applejack, destroying the store and orchard in the process. Jean has only one option: get even with the beavers. The only problem is that he will have to survive first, which might be easier said than done. It is not like it is a brutally cold winter, and he has nothing to his name but the clothes on his back and the ability to carve interactive sculptures out of wood with his teeth.  

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The Mountain – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An emotional roller coaster that can have you laughing, crying, and uplifting all in the space of 30 seconds.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Mount Taranaki in poster form.

The Mountain Review –

After a long and challenging week, I thought I would stop in at the movies on the way home from work on a Friday afternoon. I had a number of options, but then I noticed what looked like a fun kids flick out of New Zealand and thought that would be the perfect way to round out the week. I mean, it was, but it was also emotionally devastating on multiple occasions. While also being a delight at every turn. Well, let’s dive in and unpack Rachael House’s directing debut.

So, to set the scene, we open in a hospital as Sam (Elizabeth Atkinson) prepares a sneaky escape with the help of her friend Peachy (Sukena Shah). There is one thing that she wants to do in her life, and that is climb Mount Taranaki. On her way, she runs into Mallory Potts (Reuben Francis), a boy who has just moved to the area with their father Hugh (Bryan Coll), and Bronco (Terence Daniel), who is struggling with relating with his father Tux (Troy Kingi). Together, they decide to climb the mountain, no matter the obstacles in their way.

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Trigger Warning – Movie Review

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TL;DR – When things click into place, this can be quite an entertaining film. Unfortunately, a lot of the connective tissue is full of awkwardness that holds it back.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Parker mourns her father.

Trigger Warning Review –

Okay, so I am going to be upfront with you right from the start. The reason I sat down to watch this film is because it has been an age since I have seen Jessica Alba in anything. She was one of those tent pole stars when I was growing up, and I am always here for a new renaissance.   

So to set the scene, we open in the Bādiyat al-Shām Desert, Syria, as two pickup trucks with machine guns chase down an aid vehicle that clearly is not delivering aid. Instead, it is driven by spec-ops operative Parker (Jessica Alba), who is very handy with a knife. But when an apparent cave-in kills her father at the mine he works in, Parker travels all the way home to deep rural America to find out what really happened. However, one look shows that the cave-in might be a very convenient conclusion.   

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Deadland – Movie Review

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TL;DR –  It is a film with a lot of intrigue, but I wish it had a bit more going on under the hood.  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A man standing on the river's shore.

Deadland Review –

I do love when films get weird, when they play with your perceptions of what is real or not, though I should maybe stop playing them before bed. Today, we are looking at a film that does just that with the people in the movie, but does it have the same effect on the audience?

So, to set the scene, we find ourselves on the USA/Mexico border with US Customs and Border Patrol, where they find a suspicious van trying to cross. Agents Angel Waters (Roberto Urbina) and Ray Hitchcock (McCaul Lombardi) find just a kid behind the wheel and a whole lot of drugs in the back. It was just a routine day for The Patrol, but when Angel is alone and finds the body of The Stranger (Luis Chávez) floating dead in the river, he is the most surprised when the man wakes up out of his body bag on the drive home. But when Angel’s father, Ignacio Coronado (Manuel Uriza), returns and the dead man, now alive, turns up dead again, things start falling apart, and this is when Internal Affairs starts to sniff around.  

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Despicable Me 4 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Look, the kids started laughing with the title card and stopped with the end credits, and I am not sure that anything more than that truly matters in the grand scheme of things.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid credit sequences but you don’t need to stay for them.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Minions in a pool.

Despicable Me 4 Review –

Well, it is time to get the banana papayas out because it is Minions time. Look, I have generally liked these films because there is an almost charm to the slapstick comedy that permeates every frame. Also, while my mother is not a fan of this, I don’t have any kids, so I only have to watch this film once—my deepest sympathies to those well into the double-digit viewings. But now we are six films deep into this world, can there be any more fun to be found? Well, that is what we will find out today.   

So to set the scene, Gru (Steve Carell) is still working for the Anti-Villain League, and this time, his mark is Maxime Le Mal (Will Ferrell), a heavily ‘French’ accented villain and former classmate of Gru. Indeed, Gru takes him down in the middle of their class reunion. Things are also looking up at home, where he and Lucy (Kristen Wiig) have welcomed a new child into the family, Gru Jr. But when Maxime escapes and threatens to ‘cockroach-ize’ the baby, well, the whole family has to go undercover to keep safe. You better hope your new neighbours are not secret supervillain fans.

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Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While you can feel some tension in the script at times, this is still a solid entry into the franchise with characters you care about and a world you want to explore.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Noa rides through the ruins of the old world.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Review –

Without a doubt, I have loved the Planet of the Apes reboot films. Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a great foundation, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was this sad meditation on the legacy of trauma, all before ending the trilogy with this grand biblical epic of War of the Planet of the Apes that hit the big 5 out of 5 stars. So, there was a bit of hesitance to come back to this world after such a long time and a new creative team, but thankfully, I had nothing to worry about.

So to set the scene, we open with the final funeral of Caeser, a leader who brought his people out of danger and into a new promised land but was unable to enter himself. Led by Maurice (Karin Konoval), it is a solemn event, but it is the start of something, and you see that in the world several generations later. It is here where Noa (Owen Teague) and his friends Soona (Lydia Peckham) and Anaya (Travis Jeffery) climb up through the ruins of the old world to find eagle eggs. They are a village of eagle trainers, and Noa’s dad, Koro (Neil Sandilands), is the leader who sings to the new eggs. However, when Noa sees an Echo (human), little does he know the carnage that is following in their wake and how his world is about to change forever.

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