Black Bag – Movie Review

TL;DR – Sexy, intriguing, delightful, and also a bit tense. In other words, it is an almost perfect spy film.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A handgun on a wooden table.

Black Bag Review

It has been a long time since I have seen a spy film perfectly capture that intrigue, where you, the audience, do not quite know what is going on, yet you are profoundly compelled to find out as the machinations of the story unfolds in front of you. Narratively, that is hard to pull off, especially in the modern era where we have seen most of the story tricks you would use in other films. However, in today’s entry, we find a movie that nails that with class.

So, to set the scene, George Woodhouse (Michael Fassbender) and Kathryn St. Jean (Cate Blanchett) look like your normal highly successful power couple, bar one thing: they both work for one of Great Britain’s security services. Kathryn is a renowned field agent, and George is a security specialist whose polygraphs are legendary. They work well together because they know where all the professional boundaries lie. However, this is thrown asunder when a key analyst, Meacham (Gustaf Skarsgård), discovers there are only five people who could have stolen a highly classified weapons program, and one of them is Kathryn. What is George to do? Well, maybe invite every suspect to his house for dinner.   

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Kneecap – Movie Review

TL;DR – Sex, drugs, and rap, with a dash of politics, violence, and only one reference to the Pope

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Arlo flips the bird at a government helicopter.

Kneecap Review

Today, I start the process of catching up on all the films of 2024 that I missed on the first release, and the first one off the bat is a film out of Northern Ireland or the North of Ireland, depending on your perspective. I was drawn to this film because it is about the Irish language, which should be a part of my heritage, given my ancestry, but it is a gap that I want to explore today.

So, to set the scene, in the tumultuous world of Northern Ireland, contestation of politics can be everywhere, even in language. It is here where so-called ceasefire babies grew up. In this world lives Naoise “Móglaí Bap” Ó Cairealláin (Naoise “Móglaí Bap” Ó Cairealláin), Liam Óg “Mo Chara” Ó Hannaidh (Liam Óg “Mo Chara” Ó Hannaidh), and JJ “DJ Próvaí” Ó Dochartaigh (JJ “DJ Próvaí” Ó Dochartaigh). They are dealing with a multitude of issues, like Naoise’s father, Arlo (Michael Fassbender), living undercover after faking his death. In the shadows of the Irish Language Act debate, the three find themselves coming together for a drug-filled night of music-making. Where they discover a way to bring the Irish language to a new generation.

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Next Goal Wins – Movie Review

TL;DR – A fun time that gets held back by some wooden acting and forced storytelling.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

The Team v the Coach.

Next Goal Wins Review

I have been enjoying my time at the Brisbane International Film Festival, but as always, things must come to an end. But if you are going to pick a film to end it on, Taika Waititi’s romp about the American Samoa Football Team is an excellent place to do it. This is a sports story that is so infamous that even I have heard about it. With that in mind, let’s play some soccer and see how a team can come back from abject embarrassment.

So to set the scene, American Samoa has been at the bottom of FIFA’s rankings for an age and reached an even lower level in 2001 World Cup qualifiers when, during a game with Australia, they lost 31-0. Tavita (Oscar Kightley) tries to manage the club, but he has become a laughingstock in the soccer community. After some pushing from his wife, Ruth (Rachel House), he applies to the American Soccer Federation for a new coach. Well, this might be a Hail Mary, but at that moment, they have a coach who is about to get fired, and Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) has only one option: take a plane into the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

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The Killer – Movie Review

TL;DR – It is an odd but compelling film where we dive into the mind of a professional killer when everything falls apart.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

The Killer sets up his shot.

The Killer Review

A revenge film can be a challenging beast to pull off. Because if you don’t work on making the motivations land, then you just have a slasher flick. However, what if you had a cold, distant killer taking on interesting characters, and you can pull that off thematically? Well, that is the film that we are looking at today.

So to set the scene, it is a quiet morning in Paris as The Killer (Michael Fassbender) waits for The Target (Endre Hules) in a cold and gloomy room. He waxes philosophically as he sits there waiting. He has one job, to kill his target, and he does not care who it is as long as he is paid. But what happens when, at the last second, someone gets in the way of your target, and your whole reputation disappears instantly? How many redundancies did you really plan? Are they enough? And are you prepared for the coming storm?

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Movie Review – Alien: Covenant


TL;DR
– Beautiful sets and locations, fantastic suspense, interesting action, and some characters that make some really odd misstates.

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

P.S. – There is No after credit scene

Alien: Covenant. Image Credit: 20th Century Fox.

Review

Wow, this was kind of unexpected, to be honest, I’ve not watched an Alien film since Aliens and from what I have heard the quality of the movies since have been not that great. So I didn’t have high hopes when I walked into the cinema, but honestly, this is one of those times when I’m glad to be wrong because Alien: Covenant was really great. In today’s review, we are going to break down the acting, set, music and action before looking at Alien: Covenant’s big problem. So we are going to avoid spoilers as best we can but given it is a part of a franchise there may be some inadvertent spoilers and also some general assumption that you will probably already know before going to see an Alien film. Now there will be a section a bit later when we go full spoiler but that will be clearly marked so you can avoid it if you wish to do so.

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Movie Review – Assassin’s Creed

TL;DR – The best movie adaption of a video game, but that was not really a high bar to cross and Assassin’s Creed kind of just stumbles across it.

Score – 3 out of 5 stars

Assassin’s Creed. Image Credit: 20th Century Fox.

Review

It is one of those weird things of Hollywood that no matter how many times they try, no one has made a decent adaptation of a video game into a movie. Now part of this has been that people have been adapting video games without understanding what there were, and also there are a lot of difficulties condensing a long interactive experience (sixteen hours for the first Assassin’s Creed game) into a two-hour passive movie. To the point where the most successful and critically acclaim versions of this genre Wreck-It Ralph & Tron used video games as just the backdrop for their story. This can be complicated even further as video games are big multi-billion dollar industry so if you’re making a film, you’re gonna want to franchise the heck out of it, the big problem with last year’s Warcraft (See Review). So within all this mess comes the Assassin’s Creed film, based on the incredibly popular series of games that has the fascinating caveat that you could set it at any point in human history. So how does it go, well for a video game adaptation movie, it goes quite well, for just a movie, it is a bit meh.

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Movie Review – X-Men: Apocalypse

TL;DR – Ok straight off the bat this is not as good as the last two, but it is still a pretty good outing for the X-Men, and leagues ahead of the Last Stand

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

P.S. there is a post credit scene

X-Men: Apocalypse. Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

Review –

So here we are with the six main film in the X-Men franchise, we’ve had one franchise killer, we’ve had one reboot, and a resurgence, so can Apocalypse continue the strong trend of First Class and Days of Future Past? Well no. Now I’m not saying it is a bad film, honestly it is just a disappointing one at times.

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