Tag Archives: movies

The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An interesting concept for a SpongeBob Movie, that unfortunately, does not have the legs, or fins, or tentacle suckers to stretch to a feature-length movie.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Flying Dutchman on an eyrie sea.

The SpongeBob Movie Review Introduction –

Today, I think I need to preface everything that I am about to say with one clear addendum: I am not the target audience for this film. I feel I need to make that clear from the front because not every film will be written for you, and you should have the wherewithal to understand that before dumping on something. But then I did also sit through it all, so, as we are here …


So, to set the scene, after measuring himself every day, SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny) is finally a “Big Guy”. Someone tall enough to go on the adult rides at the local amusement park. But when SpongeBob is not able to find the courage to hop on the rides with his dear friend Patrick Star (Bill Fagerbakke), he is crushed. But that is when Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) tells him about his time as a swashbuckler with the crew of The Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill). SpongeBob becomes enamoured with the idea of being a swashbuckler as the way to become a genuine big guy; however, Mr. Krabs might not have been telling the whole truth.

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The History of Sound – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is both profoundly moving and also downright frustrating. The visual construction was some of the best all year, yet it pondered along, afraid to commit to what its thesis statement was.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A river flowing in a forest.

The History of Sound Review Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that existed in a state of dissonance for me, from the heights of beauty that you see throughout, to the despair of frustration. Some of this dissonance is purposely built into the film, an intentional conversation in subtext. However, while that is important, you can’t forget the actual text.
 
So, to set the scene, Lionel Worthing (Paul Mescal) has always had a special relationship with music since he was a child, able to feel it, see it, and manipulate it. It was this gift that took him in 1917 from the rural farm in Kentucky where he grew up to the Boston Conservatory to study music. It is here that he came across fellow student and composer, David White (Josh O’Connor). They had an instant bond, but war broke out, and David was drafted. David returned in 1919 and asked Lionel to join him on a trip collecting and recording folk songs, a trip that would have a marked impact on both their lives.

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Wicked: For Good (Wicked: Part Two) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While Cynthia Erivo & Ariana Grande still shine, the choice to split the film into two parts has had a detrimental effect on the pacing, narrative, and structure of the film.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A propaganda poster of the Wicked Witch.

Wicked: For Good Review Introduction –

If I look back on the last twelve months, there may have been one film, outside of Chicken Jocky, that captured the imagination of people in the cinemas. It felt like everyone was holding space for Wicked, as it dominated the box office and broader pop culture. Thanks mainly to it being anchored by two of the best lead actors in the business for a musical film like this: Cynthia Erivo & Ariana Grande. But here’s the thing, and it’s a big one. The choice to end the first film at the traditional intermission moment meant that everything that the general public understood of Wicked was all in that first film, and thus, I was worried about how Part Two would go. I think I was right to be concerned.  

So, to set the scene, at the end of Wicked, Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo) discovered that the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum) is nothing but a fraud. Oz and his accomplice Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh) needed Elphaba’s natural magical abilities, but not if she was a threat. So Elphaba escaped their clutches, but has now been branded the “Wicked Witch of the East” in a propaganda campaign that stretches across the lands. Everyone now has to live with the consequences of their actions. Glinda (Ariana Grande) always wanted to be in the spotlight, but is she willing to do what it takes to stay there when it means betraying her friends? And will Fiyero (Jonathan Bailey) discover his strength before it is too late?   

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A House of Dynamite – Movie Review

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TL;DR – As divisive as it is fascinating, anchored on understandable tension, and character performances that rocked me at times.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Sun rising behind the Washington Monument.

A House of Dynamite Review Introduction –

We are getting to the pointy end of the year, and that means it is time to start catching up with a bunch of the films that I missed this year. This is made more apparent because I just spent a month away in Japan, and there are a bunch of films that I missed while I was away. The first cab off that rack is a political thriller that explores the calamity of nuclear weapons, which means that this is already 100% my jam.

So, to set the scene, it is just a typical day for people around the world, including those in the missile defence systems in Fort Greely, Alaska and those in the Situation Room in Washington DC. But tensions have slowly been growing around the world, and when you have a fuel around, all it takes is one match for it all to explode, which is when a ballistic launch is detected over the Pacific Ocean, heading right to the USA. A nuclear event that everyone has feared is now a reality.   

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Good Fortune – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While this film means well, you can also feel like the scenario presented is not a lived experience for the creatives behind the screen, as the focus is in the wrong place.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Gabriel looks over LA.

Good Fortune Review Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that is a bit of an odd duck all around. It is a film marking Aziz Ansari’s return from a self-imposed exile of only doing stand-up. A reinvention of sorts. It feels like an old-timey morality tale while also desperately trying to be relevant in the now. Also, it wants to be a comedy, but also wants to shine a light. Honestly, it is doing a lot of things; the question is, can it pull all these juxtapositions off?  

So, to set the scene, Gabriel (Keanu Reeves) is a guardian angel, sort of, well, only just. You see, he is not able to make any grand changes, because he is just the angel of texting while driving, giving a helping hand to look up before they crash into something. It is here that Gabriel finds Arj (Aziz Ansari), a man living in his car, working in the gig economy, and trying to find a way out, when all the cards are stacked against him. Well, what if Arj got a taste of what it would be like being rich, so he could learn that his current life has more purpose? Okay. But what Arj doesn’t want to change back?

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Savage Hunt – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It commits one of the most cinematic of crimes: it makes a film about a bear on a slashing spree dull.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

A blood stained torch.

Savage Hunt Review Introduction –

Unfortunately, today, we are looking at a film that flounders at almost every single possibility. Partly because of the budget, I assume, and also because the narrative and the characters are written in such a way that I found every single one of them insufferable before the end credits rolled.   

So, to set the scene, we open on a forest being cut down to build a new resort and spa. But deep in these woods might lurk something that you don’t want to disturb, something that might be stalking you, hunting you, and if you are not careful, killing you. When a man walks into the construction site covered in blood and clearly mauled by an animal, the local rangers get called in, shutting down the site, but not even they were prepared for what is out there.

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Predator: Badlands – Movie Review

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TL;DR – an absolute blast of a film from start to finish. Taking 1980s action sensibilities and bringing them into a modern sci-fi film. Bright, fun, but also thoroughly grounded in the universe they are working in.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-title card scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Dek standing with a sword.

Predator: Badlands Review Introduction –

When you hear that a new entry in a famously American R-rated franchise has been handed the dreaded American PG-13 rating, you cringe a little. You get flashbacks to Die Hard 4 and others who were forced, kicking and screaming, into the lower rating to make it more marketable. However, today we look at a film that bucks that trend by being a fun, family-friendly film that remains grounded in its universe.

So, to set the scene, we open on the Predator homeland of Yautja Prime, where Dek (Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi) is sparring off with his brother Kwei (Mike Homik). While Dek is a runt in Yautja society, his brother sees his strength and worth. Dek should have the chance to go on a hunt and prove himself in Yautja society. Unfortunately, their father Njohrr (Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi) feels differently. Dek manages to escape and lands on Genna, a planet where every part of the biosystem is out to kill you. However, it is the home of the Kalisk, a creature so powerful that no Yautja has succeeded in killing it, and it even scares Dek’s father. But before you can get to the Kalisk, you need to survive Genna, and maybe the synth Thia (Elle Fanning) might be your only hope to pull that off.     

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Black Phone 2 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While conceptually there are some good ideas and the film does come together in the end, it’s a slog to get through because it tries to tackle too many themes, none of which land successfully.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A pay phone sitting by a lake covered in snow.

Black Phone 2 Review Introduction –

I have recently been away on a three-week holiday and missed when this landed in cinemas; however, while I remembered liking the first Black Phone, I was surprised to see the wildly discordant opinions of people who had watched the sequel. Some of my friends were positioning it as the film of the year, and others were decrying it as a mistake. Well, now that I am back in Oz, I thought it best to give it a look to see where I landed.
 
So, to set the scene, it has been four years since the events of The Black Phone, when The Grabber (Ethan Hawke) kidnapped Finney Blake (Mason Thames). However, with help from his sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) and the ghosts of those who had been killed, Finney managed not only to escape but also to kill The Grabber. Finney has been struggling to find himself in a world where everyone knows of his trauma. However, when Gwen starts dreaming again, connecting in her sleep with their long-dead mother Hope (Anna Lore), the siblings, along with Ernesto (Miguel Mora), make their way up to Alpine Lake Camp, a Christian youth camp, to find out why the connection is being made. But when they get trapped there in a blizzard, they discover that death might not be the end for those who have haunted them in the past.

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Tron: Ares – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it was not the complete disaster I feared, at no point (okay, maybe the music) did it reach the heights of the previous two films in this series.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A Recognizer approaches a real life city.

Setting the Scene

Well, here we are, a place that I didn’t think we would see again, another Tron film. I am on the record as to how much I love it, and even more so, Tron: Legacy. They are films that live rent-free in my brain, and I was heartbroken when the original sequel to Tron: Legacy was canned in the wake of the disastrous Tomorrowland. But the wheels of time turn, and sometimes you get a second bite at the apple. Which means today we see if you can capture that Tron vibe in 2025? Also, can one casting choice torpedo your film?
 
So, to set the scene, in the years since Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) disappeared, the world has changed, and two tech companies have risen to prominence. ENCOM is led by their new CEO, Eve Kim (Greta Lee) and Dillinger Systems is run by CEO Julian Dillinger (Evan Peters). Both companies are in a race to find the code that will let items and programs from the digital world stay in the physical world for more than 29 minutes. While Eve goes looking into the past, Julian is not beyond a little dirty underhandedness and sends his chief security AI, Ares (Jared Leto), into the ENCOM systems to find out what they know so that they can steal it first.   

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Scurry – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A strong premise brings you into this world, but the narrative does not quite have the six legs to get all the way to the end.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A man holds a lighter up for light.

Setting the Scene

This has been an excellent year for Sparke Films, with its flagship Primitive War showing that you absolutely can do a dinosaur film without the word Jurassic in the title. But that was a big, bombastic work, and I was interested to see what they could do on a more concentrated effort, and today we find out.   

So, to set the scene, chaos reigns as something is causing a city to be evacuated and destroyed in equal measure. At the bottom of a sinkhole lies Mark (Jamie Costa), who had the unfortunate luck of standing on the road as it gave out underneath him. Stuck and with no phone connection, things are not looking good for him, nor is that car hanging precariously over the edge, filling anyone with confidence. There better not be a helicopter crashing from the sky that will make this situation worse, and what was that chittering sound in the background?

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