Tag Archives: movies

Jurassic World Rebirth – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Well, it was not without its many, many problems, but this was a grand improvement over its predecessors, if maybe just for the choice of glasses apparently.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A T-Rex stalks people in a boat.

Jurassic World Rebirth Review –

Well, it is time to jump back into the Jurassic World franchise, and I say this with a touch of trepidation. Not only do I love Jurassic Park, but it is one of my top films of all time. However, it has felt like each of the recent sequels has stepped further and further away from what made the series so great to begin with: Dinosaurs, with Jurassic World Dominion being a particularly apt example of this. However, we have Gareth Edwards at the helm and David Koepp back with the screenplay, and well, I can’t help but get excited again, even if it may be all for naught.   

So, to set the scene, in the time since Dominion, climate and disease have forced dinosaurs to retreat to tropical sanctuaries. But a pharmaceutical company, ParkerGenix, fronted by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), have come to Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), and Dr Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) with an offer. They need DNA samples from the three largest remaining prehistoric species, hidden away on Ile Saint-Hubert, an old InGen research facility, 226 miles east of French Guinea. A place where InGen tested many of their experiments before releasing them into Jurassic World. Now they must face off with everything the island will throw at them, that is, if they even make it to land.

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F1 (F1: The Movie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – The Daddist Dad Film that ever Dadded

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Looking at an F1 Race from the cockpit of an F1 car.

F1 Review –

In the pantheon of cinema, some films are Dad films. Now, that does not mean only men will enjoy them, only that the movie in question is very Dad-coded. If you have ever sat down to watch a film and thought: ‘My dad would like this’ well reader and a fine, elegant, and clearly one of good taste reader at that, have just watched a ‘Dad film’. Today, we look at a film that might be the most ‘Dad Film’ I have ever seen ‘Dad Film’, and it was excellent to boot.  

So, to set the scene, Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) was an up-and-coming F1 racer in his youth before a brutal crash took ten years of his life. Since then, he has been chasing different racing challenges, almost like he is knocking off a list of the world’s best races. Indeed, we meet Sonny in the middle of The 24 Hours of Daytona, and he crushes it. But as he makes his way across America to the next race, Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem), a former friend from his F1 days and current F1 APXGP team owner, pops in for a visit. For you see, Ruben has a problem: his team has never won a race, their second driver has just quit, and they are sitting on 0 points for the season. If they fail to win a race, shareholders like Peter Banning (Tobias Menzies) could force a sale. All Ruben needs Sonny to do is become the second driver for the rest of the season and help give his experience to their very talented yet very young other driver, Joshua “Noah” Pearce (Damson Idris). Sonny left that world behind thirty years ago, but the allure of one last crack at it can’t help but call him back.

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Escape – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it dabbles in exploitation, the film never really comes together as a whole.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A woman running towards a cabin in the desert.

Escape Review –

So, to set the scene, we open with a woman running for her life in a desert as she is being chased by a truck. 24 hours earlier, while a bunch of women have arrived at a luxurious island hideaway for a holiday, at a workshop, a comically evil trafficker is setting out the rules to his henchmen. They need ten women captured to be shipped off by Friday. The women are having a blast, not knowing they are walking into danger.  

Well, there is a lot I can say about this film, but I want to highlight some of its strengths. They make the most of their shooting location on the Canary Islands, which helps the narrative or at least makes it more energetic. I also liked that, on the whole, the women were written as out of their depth but not entirely stupid. For example, realising that maybe having a wrench would be a good idea. However, I think they would have preferred being kidnapped and wearing more practical footwear.

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How to Train Your Dragon (2025) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It earned Test Drive.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit snippet.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Hiccup stands off against a dragon.

How to Train Your Dragon Review –

Well, if there was one film I was hesitant to see, it was this one. I adore the How to Train Your Dragon films; How to Train Your Dragon 3 is in our Top 10 Animated Films of All Time, though I think that list might need an update. So, I was not one of those people jumping for joy when it was announced that it was getting one of those dreaded live-action re-makes. I say that because they are mostly trash and rarely get even into the same ballpark as the originals. Well, I was shocked because I could not believe how quickly this film had entranced me.

So, to set the scene, in the great arctic north, there is a village called Berk. The people of the town were summoned from across the Viking lands for one reason: to find the Dragon’s nest and destroy it. They just have not had a lot of success on that front because even though it is an old town, every house is new. At night, the dragons attack to steal their livestock and burn down their village, and every time, the villagers fight back. However, within this highly competent town lives Hiccup (Mason Thames), the son of the village chief Stoick the Vast (Gerard Butler). Who wants to work smarter, not harder, but no one trusts him. But one night, as the village burned, Hiccup wheeled out one of his inventions and aimed it at a mysterious Night Fury, and for the first time in his life, he struck gold.

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Karate Kid: Legends – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Elevates what could have just been a very paint-by-numbers legacy film by filling it with joy, fun, and, importantly, compassion.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is more after the end title card.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Mr Han looks over sparing students.

Karate Kid: Legends Review –

One of the most prevalent shifts in media in the modern era has been the rise of the Legacy Film. This is when you take some old story, bring back the old cast, and then attempt to hand the franchise off to a new generation. Now, to be fair, sometimes they work really well, but other times they can be a complete mess. However, today, we are looking at a franchise that is trying this for the third time, which is both fascinating and a bit concerning if they can’t make it work.

So, to set the scene, Li Fong (Ben Wang) lives in Beijing and loves kung-fu. He is trained by his great-uncle, Mr Han (Jackie Chan), but mostly in secret because his mother, Dr Fong (Ming-Na Wen), does not want him fighting after the death of her eldest son. But Li often goes and trains in secret, well, what he thinks is secret. But it is time for a massive change for the Fong family as Dr Fong takes a job in New York. A fresh start for all. But the past has a habit of not staying in the past.

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Ballerina (From the World of John Wick: Ballerina) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a perfectly serviceable film with some highlights, but it feels like it is starting to make the same mistakes that all the John Wick films are currently doing.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to view this film.

Eve walks into a gun room.

Ballerina Review –

When I first watched John Wick back in 2014, I knew that I was watching something special, but I never knew the world we were going to find as things expanded. Well, we have had four films and one middling TV series. However, now it is time to branch out and see the other stories that exist in this vast world. Today’s entry is the first attempt to pull that off, and so it is time to see how well they made it work.  

So, to set the scene, Eve Macarro (Victoria Comte) was living with her father, Javier (David Castañeda), in a mansion by the sea. However, one night, evil comes from the water, and while her father fights valiantly, he is not able to save both of them. Thankfully, Eve has a guardian angel in Winston Scott (Ian McShane), who brought her to her family, the Ruska Roma, controlled by the Director (Anjelica Huston). Here, Eve is given a choice, and after many years of training, Eve (Ana de Armas) is now ready to enter the world and take revenge on those who crossed her.   

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Unit 234 The Lock Up – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It understands that when you cast Don Johnson, you give the man a monologue.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A truck pulls up to the storage lot at night.

Unit 234 The Lock Up Review –

One of the more interesting shades of drama out there is the surprise trapped. You are going about your day, and then all of a sudden, bam, through the machinations of others or nature, now you are fighting for your life. These are films that live and die on the believability of the scenario and how the characters respond to them. It is in that space we dabble tonight.

So, to set the scene, Laurie Saltair (Isabelle Fuhrman) works, well, is more stuck working for her family’s old storage unit facility. It is a job she inherited, but it is not great for her work/life balance. But what she doesn’t know is that her self-storage unit is about to be at the centre of some regrettable circumstances: a mighty storm is about to hit the coast of Florida, she just crushed her mobile phone in a fall, and some idiot stashed the one thing the wealthy and powerful construction tycoon Jules (Don Johnson) needs in one of her units. What could be in there that he wants so much, and why is there a warning alarm going off?

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Darkgame – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there are some conceptually interesting ideas here, the fact that everyone is playing a one-dimensional character greatly limits its potential.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Prisoners around a table.

Darkgame Review –

As the internet becomes all persuasive in our lives, we are becoming more and more accustomed to the negative possibilities that can exist. But whether real or imagined, one genre that has been populated on popular media is what would ancient Colosseum games look like in a modern era where anyone anywhere can watch on? Today’s review leans into that wholeheartedly as we delve into the world of the dark web.    

So, to set the scene, Detective Ben Jacobs (Ed Westwick) is a detective who is famous for finding two lost brothers who have been kidnapped. However, something new has come across his desk: a disturbing video feed from the dark web called Russian Roulette. A masked Presenter (Andrew P Stephen) is making contestants play games against each other. Only the loser meets a grizzly demise. Imagine Sam Reich with a murder kink and making a truckload of money from betting customers. One of those contestants was Fay (Sophie Rankin), who is one of the missing cases Ben was working on, so this is now personal. But when another person is kidnapped, Katia (Natalya Tsvetkova), only time will tell if they catch the perpetrators before more bodies drop.

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Mapping Sony’s Spider-Man Universe – Map-It

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TL;DR – As requested, we mapped all the locations featured in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe.

Venom. Image Credit: Sony.

Mapping A Failed Experiment –

Whenever I post a map, I always ask for suggestions of pop-culture things that people would like to get mapped. Sometimes, you have interesting suggestions like Indiana Jones that make you think. Other times, it feels like someone wants to make you suffer. Well, today is the latter, as some of my readers have asked me to map Sony’s ill-fated Spider-Man Universe without Spider-Man in it. Now, for clarity, these are all the films that make up the Villain series of films, well villain-lite films, such as Venom, Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Morbius, Madame Web, Venom: The Last Dance & Kraven the Hunter. They don’t include the MCU Spider-Man films Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home & Spider-Man: No Way Home, which you can find on our MCU Map. Nor do they include the Spider-verse films Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse & The Spider Within because they are their own thing.

So, with this map, I have tried to find every location that I could, but this has led to some issues. There are a lot of places where there are no precise locations. With that in mind, I have made some educated guesses, such as putting Chameleon’s Club in Soho. I have used the actual filming locations as a guide where possible, but there is not a lot of data on that, especially for the later films, and a lot of times, different cities are subbing in for another. For example, the car chase in Venom jumps from San Francisco to Atlanta and back again in between cuts. 

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The Phoenician Scheme – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Weird and wonderful in equal measure.

Score – 4.5 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zsa-zsa looks up at you from a bath.

The Phoenician Scheme Review –

Today, we are going to experience a touch of tonal whiplash when it comes to our film reviews. Because we are going from Fountain of Youth, where I could not tell was directed by Guy Ritchie as all his signature stull was sandblasted out of the film, and in the days since I am still wondering if he actually directed that film. But now we are hard cutting to the opposite side of that spectrum with the most stylistic director working in the field today. A man with a stylistic pallet that is oft copied but never replicated. I was first introduced to Wes Anderson’s work through Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and was delighted by his reinterpretations of Roald Dahl’s short stories like Poison a couple of years ago. This means I came into this with somewhat high expectations, and I think they met them and more.  

So, to set the scene, in 1950, Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is flying above the Balkin mountains when an explosion rips apart his plane, yet miraculously, he survives, for this is not the first assassination attempt on his life. He feels like his life work might get cut off by influential players seeking to ruin him and realises that his legacy is not going to be passed down to his ten other sons. Zsa-zsa calls upon his one and only daughter, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who is about to take her nun oaths. However, he offers her a deal, well, a trial run, at being his sole heir to his fortune, as long as he can fill in the gap in this funding that the shadowy powers just forced upon him. Oh, and stop all the many, many, many people trying to kill him.

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