Tag Archives: movies

The Phoenician Scheme – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Weird and wonderful in equal measure.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zsa-zsa looks up at you from a bath.

The Phoenician Scheme Review –

Today, we are going to experience a touch of tonal whiplash when it comes to our film reviews. Because we are going from Fountain of Youth, where I could not tell was directed by Guy Ritchie as all his signature stull was sandblasted out of the film, and in the days since I am still wondering if he actually directed that film. But now we are hard cutting to the opposite side of that spectrum with the most stylistic director working in the field today. A man with a stylistic pallet that is oft copied but never replicated. I was first introduced to Wes Anderson’s work through Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and was delighted by his reinterpretations of Roald Dahl’s short stories like Poison a couple of years ago. This means I came into this with somewhat high expectations, and I think they met them and more.  

So, to set the scene, in 1950, Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is flying above the Balkin mountains when an explosion rips apart his plane, yet miraculously, he survives, for this is not the first assassination attempt on his life. He feels like his life work might get cut off by influential players seeking to ruin him and realises that his legacy is not going to be passed down to his ten other sons. Zsa-zsa calls upon his one and only daughter, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who is about to take her nun oaths. However, he offers her a deal, well, a trial run, at being his sole heir to his fortune, as long as he can fill in the gap in this funding that the shadowy powers just forced upon him. Oh, and stop all the many, many, many people trying to kill him.

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Fountain of Youth – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Dull.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the AppleTV+ service that viewed this film.

The Austrian Library.

Fountain of Youth Review –

There is a genre in the Action-Adventure that leans into hunting lost artefacts, which, of course, makes you think of Indiana Jones and National Treasure or more. I honestly love these films because they capture that childlike wonder when I was discovering the world and learning about history. So, when I heard that Guy Richie was going to take a stab at a film in this world with a fantastic cast, I was fundamentally excited to give it a watch. I probably should have reset my expectations.

So, to set the scene, we open in the streets of Bangkok as Luke Purdue (John Krasinski) needs to outmanoeuvre a local gang to escape with a painting. As he takes an emergency train ride to Chiang Mai and tries to get some rest, he is woken up by a business opportunity. Esme (Eiza González) gives Luke the ‘opportunity’ to go easily or difficultly. A fight/flirt on the train proceeds. Luke escapes and now has a mission in his life. He is going to need a team to pull it off: Murf (Laz Alonso), Deb (Carmen Ejogo), Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), and his sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), which he may or may not have just gotten into a lot of trouble with her boss, ex-husband, oh and also INTERPOL.    

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The Island (Haunted Heart/ Isla Perdida) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Some films are greater than the sum of their parts, and then we have today’s entry that has all the right ingredients, yet, like me, every time I try to make bread, nothing rises from it.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Island

The Island Review –

So, to set the scene, it is Greece in 2001, and people are making their way around the many Greek islands. One of those is Álex (Aida Folch), who is making her way to a secluded restaurant to be their new hostess. It is the kind of restaurant full of fresh flavours that you could feel were pulled right from the sea that surrounds you. But because she is late, the restaurant owner, Max (Matt Dillon), demotes her to server. It is her dream job, dream location, and the boss is quite fine, which is why she does not see all the warning signs everywhere.

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Space/Time – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A wildly ambitious film, which while it doesn’t always live up to the promise it makes, when it does land, it is wildly fascinating.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A plant sits in front of the machine about to make a portal.

Space/Time Review –

One of the things I like best about my job is when you find something that has taken a big swing to explore. Not content to play it safe, they reach for the sky and don’t care if they hit the Moon or not. I do love exploring that kind of creativity, even if it does not always pan out.

So, to set the scene, in the not-too-distant future, society is on the verge of collapse. Years of environmental degradation have taken their toll, and the biosphere might not hold up in the long run. It is in this space where scientists, like Holt (Hugh Parker), have been working on a secluded island to find ways to stave off the collapse. They tried to develop wormhole travel, but it backfired spectacularly, and many were killed. Liv (Ashlee Lollback) and Harris (Pacharo Mzembe) have tried to move on with their lives after the calamity. Still, when the opportunity to dabble in some illegal science comes up, Liv can’t help but dive back into a world that almost took her life last time.  

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Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Does it nail those moments of spectacle? Absolutely, in ways few can. But it is also filled with a lacklustre antagonist, a meandering narrative, and a desperate need to find some relevance. Look, it is just okay, and that’s fine.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Tom Cruise Running.

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning Review –

Well, we have apparently reached the end of an era, though I will believe that when we see the box office earnings. But if this is the end, does it create a satisfying narrative to justify this massive franchise coming to a close? Can it create a level of visual excellence that makes it stand out from those who came before it? Will it make Tom Cruise run the most? These were the questions I had in my mind as I sat down with my popcorn and drink.

So, to set the scene, it has been a few months since Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning [now minus the dangling Part One] and Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team of Luther (Ving Rhames) and Benji (Simon Pegg) have gone to ground with the Crucifix Key. While hiding, the AI Entity has infiltrated most of the world and has artificially created tension among the nations. The Earth is a powder keg waiting to go off, The Entity has created a doomsday cult to forward its means, and Gabriel (Esai Morales) is still out there causing chaos. However, Ethan Hunt has a plan; the only issue is how many of his friends he might have to sacrifice before the end.

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Paradise: Season 1 – TV Review

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TL;DR – Cornerstoned by some fantastic performances, we explore a world where things might be perfect, as long as you don’t look any deeper.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service that viewed this series.

Xavier walks up some stairs.

Paradise Review –

It might just be the current climate, or the fact that rewatching The West Wing makes me feel a growing sense of naivety. But I have been trying to find a new political or politically adjacent series to stick my teeth into. My first attempt was the delightful The Residence, which made its mark. But I wanted to find something with a bit more bite, and today I think I found it.

So, to set the scene, Secret Service Agent Xavier Collins (Sterling K. Brown) was doing his usual daily rounds in the sleepy town of Paradise. The sort of town where you can jog to the President’s house as part of your morning commute. Xavier did the usual handoff to the agents on site, including Jane Driscoll (Nicole Brydon Bloom) and Billy Pace (Jon Beavers). However, something was off that morning, POTUS, Cal Bradford (James Marsden) was still in bed, which was odd even for a man who spends most of his day in a bathrobe. But as he goes into the President’s room, he is accosted by the sight of blood and the body of the President. Xavier should call it in right away, but he locks the site down before word can escape, and before he loses control of the first murder scene in Paradise’s history. Now, from here, we will be looking at the season as a whole, so there will be [SPOILERS] ahead.

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Thunderbolts* (The New Avengers) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a perfectly fine film, with strong performances and an interesting villain. Unfortunately, it feels like it is constantly being held back from reaching its potential.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A Humvee gets yeeted into the air.

Thunderbolts* Review –

I think it has been no secret that the MCU has been struggling to find its way in a post-Endgame world. It has had more misses than swings, which has forced a course correction into safety in many places. Thus, Ant-Man loses its charm and Captain America becomes just okay. It is in that space where they announced: what if the MCU did their version of Suicide Squad with a bunch of characters left over from the other films but also make it PG for some reason? It honestly sounds like a poor pitch, but then the first trailer dropped, and all of a sudden, there was a ray of hope. Now we see if that hope was warranted.   

So, to set the scene, Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is the head of the CIA and totally not still working for her own company that is up to so many illegal activities that she is now under impeachment from the US Congress. Knowing she has to clean house, she sends her undercover agents across the world to destroy any evidence of what she was working on. However, then they are the only link between the illegal stuff and her, so what do you do? Oh, maybe you get Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), John Walker (Wyatt Russell), Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko) & Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) to go to the same secluded warehouse, each with the mission to kill the other and then incinerate all the evidence one there are just bodies left … what could go wrong … Oh, and why is Bob (Lewis Pullman) down here?

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The Accountant 2 (The Accountant²) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A surprisingly fun romp that finds a way to make an odd 8-year-old sequel work in the context of now.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A precise breakfast of three eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

The Accountant 2 Review –

When I got the invitation to see The Accountant 2, I was honestly surprised. I had not heard much about a sequel, and I think that the first film might have aged a bit better than some of its contemporaries. I still only have vague recollections of the movie with an interesting premise, a strong performance, but it is also profoundly messy on every level. But, even if that first film didn’t quite live up to the potential it merited, there was enough there for me to wonder what would happen if they got a second bite at the apple, and this is what we are looking at today.

So, to set the scene, it has been eight years since The Accountant and Christian “Chris” Wolff (Ben Affleck) is still auditing banks and deals for organised crime, travelling around in a trailer home, and also giving tips to the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN). Well, the former head of the FinCEN, Raymond King (J. K. Simmons), is only semi-retired because now and again, he picks up a case that means something to him. But when a meeting with a mysterious woman (Daniella Pineda) goes wrong, he leaves a note for his successor Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) to contact The Accountant. Because only they might be able to solve this puzzle.

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Drop – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Drop is uncomfortable and unsettling but also deeply compelling. It’s one of those thrillers that has you on the edge of your seat, wondering if anyone will make it out alive.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A phone message to check your security cameras.

Drop Review –

Even though film is an old visual medium, it is always trying to connect with and incorporate modern technology. While some films like Searching take that concept to the extreme, others sit back and pick the lazy option and just show a message pop up on a screen. It takes a lot to have modern technology fit naturally into your movie. But today, we look at an entry that just might pull that off.

So, to set the scene, Violet Gates (Meghann Fahy) is a single mother to Toby (Jacob Robinson), and that and her work supporting victims of spousal abuse and coercive control have meant that she has not gone on a date for a very long time. But today is different; her sister Jen (Violett Beane) is coming over to babysit, and tonight, she is going out on a date with what seems like a perfect gentleman who has been chatting to her for months and has not asked for a feet pic once. Her date, Henry Campbell (Brandon Sklenar), is taking her out to a fancy restaurant called Palate, with a view right over the Chicago cityscape. It could be a perfect date, right up until she starts getting obnoxious messages on her ‘Digi-Drops’ app. They are annoying, and she is about to turn the app off when it tells her to look at her home security cameras and do whatever they ask her to do, or her sister and son are dead.

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G20 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Much like the action films of the 1990s, which were a clear inspiration, G20 may hit just about every cliché in its runtime, yet it still gets to be a fun blast.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime service that viewed this film.

All the world leaders standing together for the group G20 photo.

G20 Review –

My background is in International Relations, and one of the many facets it explores is the strength and use of international organisations. These tend to be contextually quite dull from a Hollywood story perspective, but every now and again, my two worlds collide. Sometimes, these are pretty fascinating choices, like in The Hitman’s Bodyguard, and other times, they can be a confusing mess, like with Rumours. However, today, we are upgrading from the G7 to the G20, and calamity is afoot.  

So, to set the scene, something is very wrong in Washington DC. It is so bad that they must wake Madam President Danielle Sutton (Viola Davis) in the middle of the night. Because her daughter Serena (Marsai Martin) found a new way to get around the Secret Service and escaped the White House to go to a party. Now on her first international trip, President Sutton is on the backfoot domestically and internationally as she arrives in Cape Town, South Africa, to sell the G20 on her plan for a digital currency for farmers. The hotel was meant to be a fortress, but a fortress only protects from external threats. One surgical strike later, and the security becomes terrorists, and now twenty world leaders are hostages.     

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