Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While this is more of a Kong film, I love that they leaned into the camp, but some hollow aspects held it back.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film

Kong finds a realm under Hollow Earth.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Review –

One of my joys in recent years has been the big Kaiju punch-em-up that has been the Monsterverse. There is just a lot of fun seeing two giant creatures rumble their way through a city. But now that we got the big team-up film last time, the question then becomes: where do they go from there? Well, that is the question we will look at today.

So to set the scene, at the end of Godzilla v Kong, Godzilla becomes the alpha of the surface world, and Kong becomes the alpha of Hollow Earth. A sort of detente that exists only if nether of the two strays into each other’s territory. But when Kong heads up to get some dental surgery, and Godzilla starts ripping out nuclear reactors in Europe, it feels like something is coming their way. This is then when we ask the question: Is Hollow Earth as far down as you could go?

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Desperation Road – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An exploration of the enduring legacy of trauma and the damage it can leave if you can get past one particular plot point.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes including flashing lights.

Maben runs with her daughter.

Desperation Road Review –

Today, we come into a film with more than a bit of trepidation. On the one hand, we have Garrett Hedlund, whose work I have generally enjoyed and whose Tron Legacy lives rent-free in my brain. However, then we have Mel Gibson, who was once a force of nature, but when I last saw him in The Continental, he was an anchor that held the entire production back, though to be fair, that was not the show’s only issue. How is this dichotomy going to work? Well, it turns out the answer was Willa Fitzgerald.    

So, to set the scene, Maben (Willa Fitzgerald) and her daughter Analee (Pyper Braun) hit hard times as they made their way on foot to Mississippi. But when a police officer sexually assaults Maben, and then she shoots him in self-defence. This is bad, really bad. Meanwhile, Russell (Garrett Hedlund) is just getting off a bus from jail when he gets a beat down, with a promise that his debt is not paid. After a chat and a gun pick from his father Mitchell (Mel Gibson), he heads home to find a recently renovated house, now with no windows and glass everywhere. These two worlds are about to collide explosively because there are few secrets in a small town.    

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Control – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it has an intriguing concept at its heart, some serious technical issues and casting choices torpedo what could have been an engaging narrative.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an audio sting at the end of the credits.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Stella looking into the camera.

Control Review –

Today, we are looking at a film that feels very in the now. It is looking at self-driving cars and the potential loss of control when we hand security over to technology for our own comfort. There is a lot of scope to do something interesting with that scenario that is not working in the bombast seen in films like The Fate of the Furious.

So to set the scene, after a long meeting and press, Prime Minister David Addams (Mark Hampton) lets Home Secretary Stella Simmons (Lauren Metcalfe) take his daughter Evie (Eire Farrell) home. Of course, things are slightly awkward because David and Stella are having a very public affair. It should be a simple trip, that is, until someone hijacks Stella’s self-driving car. There is a voice (Kevin Spacey) who is very unhappy with Stella and now has complete control over her vehicle.     

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Kung Fu Panda 4 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it is always lovely to see Jack Black back in this role, unfortunately, the outing, while still fun, did not have the energy of the previous entries.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Po sitting under a flowering peach tree trying to meditate.

Kung Fu Panda 4 Review –

One of the joys you get is when you have a solid franchise that hits on every entry. A company that does that generally quite well is DreamWorks. Sure, not everything is a Shrek, and occasionally you get a Shrek 4, but they are always entertaining and occasionally you get a How to Train Your Dragon. In that space were the Kung Fu Panda films, which I thoroughly enjoyed, so I was excited to see we were getting a new one, if only for Jack Black’s energy alone.   

So to set the scene, it has been some time since Po (Jack Black) took on the full mantle of Grand Master at the end of Kung Fu Panda 3, and he is now defending the Valley of Peace by himself as The Furious Five leave to follow personal missions. It is in this space that Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) informs Po that he must choose his new successor as Dragon Warrior. Po does not want to give up the mantle that he has worked so hard for and become the spiritual leader of the valley. However, when word gets to him that Tai Lung (Ian McShane) has returned and is causing havoc, Po knows an adventure when he hears it. Thankfully, Po has a new guide in Zhen (Awkwafina) to help him tackle the real threat, the sorceress Chameleon (Viola Davis).

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The Moon Thieves (The Moon Thi4v3s, Dao yue zhe, 盜月者) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While the plot will not be a great surprise to anyone who has watched a heist film before, the cast makes it a fun ride.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

The interior of a watch.

The Moon Thieves Review –

Long-time readers will know that I love a good heist film, the set-up, the mission when it all goes to pot. However, I have seen how many Western filmmakers have explored the genre, and that is just a tiny section of the filmmaking community. Today, we will start fixing this by looking at a film out of Hong Kong about the surprising world of counterfeit watches.

So, to set the scene, Vincent Ma (Edan Lui) is known in the counterfeit business as someone who creates frankenwatches. These are watches made from original parts but cobbled together for many different watches. This is a lucrative, if dangerous business, even more so when he is called upon by the local crime lord Uncle (Keung To), who is the son of the original Uncle but kept the name. Uncle needs Vincent and Chief (Louis Cheung) to put a group together to replace and steal three precious Picasso watches that have been found in Tokyo. Vincent does not want to do this, but he has no choice. But then, this introduction to a broader criminal world might be just what he needs for his ultimate goal: to find the lost Moon Watch, the first watch worn on the Moon by Buzz Aldrin.

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Damsel – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While a bit messy in places, strong casting and a solid central premise combine to make a fascinating film at times.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Shadows encroach over the kingdom.

Damsel Review –

I have always loved a good schlocky fantasy film. One that knows its premise and its voice and excels from there. It is in this space that we get gems like The Mummy and Dungeons and Dragons. Today, we are looking at a film that is trying to capture that kind of energy and see if they can pull it off.   

So to set the scene, we open in as a platoon of knights crawl into a dragon’s (Shohreh Aghdashloo) lair, hoping to slay the beast before ending in a conflagration of flames. Centuries later, in a faraway land on the verge of ruin lives Elodie (Millie Bobby Brown), a princess. It is at this dark moment when an envoy from the Kingdom of Aurea arrives looking for Elodie’s hand in marriage for their prince. This marriage would give Elodie’s kingdom enough resources to make it to the thaw. As the family arrives at Aurea, its wealth greets them, and also a sense that not everything is as it seems, for the mountains behind the kingdom cast long shadows.

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Dune: Part Two – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Even with such a weight of expectation that I had for it, Dune: Part 2 still stuck the landing with a gusto I was not expecting.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a screening of this film.

Paul stands in front of an explosion.

Dune: Part Two Review –

I need to be clear when coming into this that this might have been the most excited I have been to see a film since maybe The Lord of the Rings. I adore this universe (okay, only the first three books, don’t @ me), and to see the First Film not only get the universe they were adapting but also have the budget to show it off. Well, there is a reason it was my favourite film of 2021. However, that is a lot of expectation, and in my experience, that can be a recipe for disaster.

So to set the scene, the plan of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård) has succeeded. With the help of  Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV (Christopher Walken), Arrakis/Dune is his, the Atreides are dead, the millennia-long feud is over, and Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen (Austin Butler) is getting ready to take over from his incompetent brother Glossu Rabban Harkonnen (Dave Bautista). There is only one problem: not all the Atreides are dead, for Paul (Timothée Chalamet) and Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson) made it through the desert to the Fremen people and are now in the hands of Stilgar (Javier Bardem) and Chani (Zendaya). It was safety brought with a blood price, which is increasing as the Harkonnen troops send patrols deeper into the desert. For Paul, his new place with the Fremen could be a way to find revenge for the destruction of his family, but is he ready for leadership to be thrust upon him? For once the Fremen are unleashed, can they be stopped?

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Madame Web – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a film that shows that you can have a great cast and an exciting scenario, but that will still not lead to a coherent narrative that has an impact.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Everyone sees the Spider-Person attacking them for the first time.

Madame Web Review –

Some of the best work that is happening in the superhero genre is coming out of Sony’s Spider-Man adjacent Marvel Universe. Unfortunately, that strength is found almost entirely in its animated division, and maybe Venom, if I have had a drink or two. Unfortunately, last year’s Morbius showed us that it is also the source of some of the worst films happening in this space. While we don’t reach those depths this week, we do get a movie that was screaming with potential but ended up being wholly lacklustre.

So to set the scene, in 1973, deep in the forests of Peru, a heavily pregnant Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé) and her security partner Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) are looking for a spider whose venom is meant to have potent healing properties. Constance finds the spider but is betrayed by Webb and left for dead. A local tribe rescues her, but they can only save the life of her newborn. In the present of 2003, Cassandra ‘Cassie’ Webb (Dakota Johnson) is now a paramedic, but when a near-death experience rocks her world, there might be more than just some trauma unlocked.

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Drive-Away Dolls – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a wild but somewhat inconsistent ride that will bring the laughs but probably does not have the lasting effect they were going for.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Love is a sleigh ride to HELL.

Drive-Away Dolls Review –

The early 200s was a wild time for the raunchy road trip film, with gems like Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and EuroTrip. For a while, they had fallen out of fashion, maybe because the old focus of those films no longer ran true for modern audiences. However, in the last few years, we have started to see a resurgence in this genre, and it is just such a film that we are looking at today.  

So to set the scene, we opened in Philadelphia in 1999 on the cusp of the new Millennium or, as it was known at the time, the Willennium. Here, there are two good friends, Jamie (Margaret Qualley) and Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan), who could not be more different. But when Jamie breaks up with her girlfriend Sukie (Beanie Feldstein), well more, she gets dumped after multiple cheating incidents. Jamie decides to tag along on Marian’s trip to Tallahassee, Florida, to help Marian get some. The only problem is that Jamie persuades Marian to use a service to cut down on the cost by driving a car down there for free (a drive-away). The only problem is that something else might be taking the trip with them, a something that many people want.

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Kill Me If You Dare (Zabij Mnie, Kochanie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is an incredibly silly film, but if that is the vibe you are after, then it nails it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

A knife falls to the floor.

Kill Me If You Dare Review –

I think there is one thing that is almost universal across most cultures: what would you do if you won the lottery, or as we call it here, the lotto? Just asking that question probably provoked a number of thoughts as to what you would do with such a large amount of money. But what would you do if you were married and things were not as good as they could be?

So to set the scene, we open in this grand romantic gesture as Piotr (Mateusz Banasiuk) races to catch Natalia (Weronika Ksiązkiewicz) before she leaves on the train. But while he misses the train, he does not miss the love of his life, and he instantly proposes. Five years later, the love is not as strong as it once was, but maybe a shock lotto win might change that. Well, perhaps not if each other thinks the other wants to murder them and take the money for themselves.

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