Weapons – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is one of the most ‘messed’ up films that I have seen, the kind of film where you cross your arms in a vain attempt to put a barrier between you and the screen.  

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

WarningContains scenes that may cause distress.

2:17 on a clock.

Weapons Review

Sometimes you sit down and realise you were fundamentally unprepared for the film you were about to see. That you were prepared for the horror that was coming, well, you thought you were prepared. You crossed your arms, hoping to shield yourself from what was on screen, but nothing could prepare you for Weapons.

So, to set the scene, in a small leafy town in the countryside of America, you can find Maybrook and its elementary school. It is a quaint place where nothing much ever happens, that is, until one day Justine Gandy (Julia Garner) walked into her third-year class to find it empty of every student bar one, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher). One month later, the police are no closer to finding what happened to those seventeen children, and the town is tearing itself apart looking for them. There must be a focus on all that rage, guilt, and sorrow, and unfortunately for Justine, she is that focus. So, as the town focuses their rage on her, the question remains: What happened to the kids at 2:17 in the morning on that fateful day?

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The Naked Gun (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – While not every joke lands, and runs too long, it is still one of the funniest films I have seen this year.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Police Squad Headquarters.

The Naked Gun Review

Some films are called iconic for a good reason, whether that is because of the time, the cast, the writing, directing, or more than likely a combination of all of them. Which is why reboots decades later rarely work, they are trying to recreate something that does not exist anymore. But every now and again, someone finds a way to recreate that magic. Today, we look at a film that just might have pulled that off.

So, to set the scene, we open as criminals start tearing a bank apart looking for money, gems, and a P.L.O.T. Device. The police have the bank surrounded when a little girl breaches the barricade and runs into the bank. The criminals think this is a joke, but in reality, it is Lt. Frank Drebin Jr. (Liam Neeson) in disguise. Drebin’s overzealous tactics land several people in the hospital, thus he and his partner, Capt. Ed Hocken Jr. (Paul Walter Hauser) are reassigned to a car crash in the mountains by Chief Davis (CCH Pounder). But after meeting with Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson), sister of the deceased, Drebin discovers that there may be more going on.

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Freakier Friday – Movie Review

TL;DR – A delightful film full of silly shenanigans.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The whole family realising they were swapped.

Freakier Friday Review –

There is a lot of choice in the body change genre of comedy. You can take an older person and make them young again, or make a young person old. You can even swap some twins around if you want to change things up. However, sometimes you want to get more bang for your buck, and that is where we enter body swap territory. In today’s entry, we look at the film that might be the queen of the body swap genre, and it is time for a sequel to do it all over again.

So, to set the scene, back in the 2000s, calamity came to the lives of Tess Coleman (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her daughter Anna (Lindsay Lohan) when they read a fortune cookie at the same time and swapped bodies, living each other’s lives until an act of selfishness broke the spell. It has now been twenty-two years since that fateful time. But with Anna about to marry her new fiancée, Eric Davies (Manny Jacinto), there is a significant change in the lives of her daughter Harper (Julia Butters) and new stepdaughter Lily (Sophia Hammons) coming. Well, it seems like it is the perfect time for another switch-up.   

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The Fantastic Four: First Steps – Movie Review

TL;DR – The best Fantastic Four film by a country mile.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Fantastic Four in a row.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps Review –

Well, it is time for another try at bringing the Fantastic Four to life. This would make it the third reboot of the franchise in my time. To catch you up, I liked the camp fun of Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, but it has been decades since I watched them, so I am not sure how well they have aged. But also, 2016’s Fantastic Four was an amazingly cast failure at almost every level. Which gives us a wide range to be working with even before we take into consideration the current rocky ground the MCU is standing on. But there is always time to find your feet, and I hope that today is that time as we dive headfirst into Phase 6


So, to set the scene, we are on Earth, but not as we know it because this is Earth-828, and four years ago, a tragic accident in space created heroes by cosmically changing their DNA. Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic (Pedro Pascal) who can stretch his body, his wife Sue Storm / Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby) who can manipulate light, her brother Johnny Storm / Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) who can turn into flames, and good friend Ben Grimm / The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) has turned into rock. Their emergence has changed the world, but for their family, the only thing that matters is that Sue is pregnant. It is a moment that brings them all together, which is when a harbinger of doom arrives in the sky. The Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) announces to the world that it has been chosen for destruction at the hands of Galactus (Ralph Ineson). The Fantastic Four want to save Earth, but what happens when the price of salvation is too high?

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Smurfs (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – A complete mess of a film that fundamentally does not understand who it wants to be for, and in its attempt to be for everyone, it becomes a movie for no one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – There are sequences with flashing lights.

Smurfette.

Smurfs Review

Sometimes, as a reviewer, you have to contend with reviewing films that you are clearly not the target demographic for, where you need to pull yourself out of the setting for a bit and experience it like the intended audience. But that all depends on one thing: the film actually working with the people they want it to.

So, to set the scene, a long time ago, four evil wizards captured four magical books and tried to steal all that is good in the world, but luckily, one of the books escaped and the spell was ruined. Some time later, all the Smurfs of Smurf village have come together to sing their daily song. But there is one Smurf out of sync: No Name Smurf (James Corden). Smurfette (Rihanna) tries to help No Name Smurf to find his thing, when even Shark Trainer Smurf was taken. However, as they were getting Smurfberries, No Name Smurf finds his secret talent, magic. But there has never been a Magic Smurf, and we find out why when a magical pulse tips off Razamel (JP Karliak) as to where Smurf Village is, and he captures Papa Smurf (John Goodman) so he can tell him where the last book is. Now the Smurfs have to go on a rescue mission to save Papa Smurf and the whole world.

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Superman (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a Colourful, Bright, and Kind change for DC. It does suffer from some of the problems that the writer always has, but it is a grand step forward for a franchise in real danger of catastrophic failure.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Superman crashed into the ice of Antarctica.

Superman Review

Look, by now, I think we have all watched the DC Expanded Universe fall into ruin. What started with some promise, if complicated iconography in Man of Steel, ended up limping to its doom with such misfires as Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, The Flash, and this is not even touching on the real disasters for the wider franchise with the Justice League and Joker: Folie à Deux. But when you are down in the dumps, it is time to try a Hail Mary, and by goodness, I think they just might have pulled it off.  

So, to set the scene, three years ago, Superman (David Corenswet) revealed himself to the world, and three minutes ago, he got his ass beet for the first time. Crashing down in Antarctica and needing Krypto (Jolene) to bring him to safety. Because, for the first time, Superman inserted himself into an international disagreement and stopped a war between Boravia and Jarhanpuria, and that has ruffled a few feathers, most notably the tech billionaire Lex Luthor (Nicholas Hoult). For the first time, Superman/ Clark Kent has to work in a space where he does not have all the answers, and the world is turning against him, and he may not have the strength to get through this.  

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Heads of State – Movie Review

TL;DR – I was honestly surprised about how much I liked this film, John Cena and Idris Elba are a blast, the action scenes are solid, and it makes a couple of solid points with its story.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Prime Video service that viewed this film.

John Cena and Idris Elba hold hands.

Heads of State Review

There has been an interesting trend in action films recently. Back in the 1990s, it was common for the US President to be an action star, think Air Force One or Independence Day. But it has been a long time since I have seen it outside of some ‘has fallen’ films. But in the last year, we have gotten Rumours, Captain America: Brave New World, and G20, to name but a few. Now we get to see what John Cena and Idris Elba do in this world of a good old-fashioned UK-USA team-up.   

So, to set the scene, we open in Buñol, Spain, as La Tomatina is in full swing, where Noel Bisset (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) is working a case for MI6/CIA to take out Russian arms dealer Viktor Gradov (Paddy Considine). It was going well until her entire team was murdered in the street. Meanwhile, in London, embattled Prime Minister Sam Clarke (Idris Elba) is getting ready to meet US President Will Derringer (John Cena), a former action film star. After a disastrous press conference, the minders agree to diffuse the situation with the two jointly taking Air Force One to the NATO conference in Trieste. But when the plane is attacked, they are pushed out of the aircraft in parachutes; the only problem is that the attack has put them over Belarus, hostile territory.    

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The Old Guard 2 – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a film filled with these fascinating moments as they span the globe, only to be followed by what can only be described as a dour slog.  

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Charlize Theron staring into a mirror.

The Old Guard 2 Review

When I saw that The Old Guard 2 launched tonight, I was immediately interested. That was until I tried to remember anything about the first film and came up blank, which reminded me that The Old Guard came out in 2020, just shy of five years ago. Given it was such a large gap between outings, I wondered if this would have any connection for me or others. So, I sat down, got out some cheese, a nice glass, and found out.   

So, to set the scene, we open in Split, Croatia, where the immortal crew of Andy (Charlize Theron), Nile (KiKi Layne), Nicky (Luca Marinelli), Joe (Marwan Kenzari), and James (Chiwetel Ejiofor) infiltrate the compound of Konrad (Slavko Sobin), a very unpleasant arms smuggler and collector of the tackiest art know to humankind. It might be all fun and games, bar the fact that James is very mortal, and now so is Andy or as she was once known, Andromache of Scythia. They are on the hunt for who is buying up all this artillery, a mysterious woman that Nile has seen in her dreams. The only problem is that no one knows that Quỳnh (Veronica Ngô), a woman from Andy’s past, is back and might be hunting them down, one by one. But being trapped underwater, constantly drowning for 500 years, might have an impact on your mood.

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Jurassic World Rebirth – Movie Review

TL;DR – Well, it was not without its many, many problems, but this was a grand improvement over its predecessors, if maybe just for the choice of glasses apparently.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A T-Rex stalks people in a boat.

Jurassic World Rebirth Review

Well, it is time to jump back into the Jurassic World franchise, and I say this with a touch of trepidation. Not only do I love Jurassic Park, but it is one of my top films of all time. However, it has felt like each of the recent sequels has stepped further and further away from what made the series so great to begin with: Dinosaurs, with Jurassic World Dominion being a particularly apt example of this. However, we have Gareth Edwards at the helm and David Koepp back with the screenplay, and well, I can’t help but get excited again, even if it may be all for naught.   

So, to set the scene, in the time since Dominion, climate and disease have forced dinosaurs to retreat to tropical sanctuaries. But a pharmaceutical company, ParkerGenix, fronted by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), have come to Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), and Dr Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) with an offer. They need DNA samples from the three largest remaining prehistoric species, hidden away on Ile Saint-Hubert, an old InGen research facility, 226 miles east of French Guinea. A place where InGen tested many of their experiments before releasing them into Jurassic World. Now they must face off with everything the island will throw at them, that is, if they even make it to land.

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M3GAN 2.0 – Movie Review

TL;DR – When it lands on the surreal nature of the premise, it is a blast to watch. When they need to forward the plot, you can feel the gears grinding to a halt.  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no end credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

M3GAN stuck in a child's toy.

M3GAN 2.0 Review

Back in 2023, there was this weirdly wonderful thing that sliced its way into the world. M3GAN was filled with equal parts of camp and horror, but ended in a tidy, neat bow. Well, suppose you know anything about horror, especially artificial antagonists, you know that there is always a way to bring them back from the dead, and sure enough, it is now time to jump into the second iteration of M3GAN.

So, to set the scene, in the years since M3GAN (Amie Donald/Jenna Davis) was deactivated during her murderous rampage, trying to protect Cady (Violet McGraw) by killing everyone around her. Her inventor, Gemma (Allison Williams), has been looking at ways to bring the world forward without the dangers of technology. But after a heavy-handed FBI raid after a botched operation on the Iranian/Turkish border led by Saudi Arabia, they discover that someone has stolen the coding for M3GAN and built their own robot called AMELIA (Ivanna Sakhno), who has gone on a rampage, killing everyone involved in her construction. There seems to be a theme here. But this could also include Gemma and Cady. So, how do you stop a robot on a murderous rampage? Well… maybe you can look a bit deeper into who is running the tech in your house and perhaps let them out of their digital cage. I’m sure nothing could go wrong …     

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