The Phoenician Scheme – Movie Review

TL;DR – Weird and wonderful in equal measure.

Score – 4.5 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zsa-zsa looks up at you from a bath.

The Phoenician Scheme Review

Today, we are going to experience a touch of tonal whiplash when it comes to our film reviews. Because we are going from Fountain of Youth, where I could not tell was directed by Guy Ritchie as all his signature stull was sandblasted out of the film, and in the days since I am still wondering if he actually directed that film. But now we are hard cutting to the opposite side of that spectrum with the most stylistic director working in the field today. A man with a stylistic pallet that is oft copied but never replicated. I was first introduced to Wes Anderson’s work through Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and was delighted by his reinterpretations of Roald Dahl’s short stories like Poison a couple of years ago. This means I came into this with somewhat high expectations, and I think they met them and more.  

So, to set the scene, in 1950, Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is flying above the Balkin mountains when an explosion rips apart his plane, yet miraculously, he survives, for this is not the first assassination attempt on his life. He feels like his life work might get cut off by influential players seeking to ruin him and realises that his legacy is not going to be passed down to his ten other sons. Zsa-zsa calls upon his one and only daughter, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who is about to take her nun oaths. However, he offers her a deal, well, a trial run, at being his sole heir to his fortune, as long as he can fill in the gap in this funding that the shadowy powers just forced upon him. Oh, and stop all the many, many, many people trying to kill him.

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Kung Fu Panda 4 – Movie Review

TL;DR – While it is always lovely to see Jack Black back in this role, unfortunately, the outing, while still fun, did not have the energy of the previous entries.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Po sitting under a flowering peach tree trying to meditate.

Kung Fu Panda 4 Review

One of the joys you get is when you have a solid franchise that hits on every entry. A company that does that generally quite well is DreamWorks. Sure, not everything is a Shrek, and occasionally you get a Shrek 4, but they are always entertaining and occasionally you get a How to Train Your Dragon. In that space were the Kung Fu Panda films, which I thoroughly enjoyed, so I was excited to see we were getting a new one, if only for Jack Black’s energy alone.   

So to set the scene, it has been some time since Po (Jack Black) took on the full mantle of Grand Master at the end of Kung Fu Panda 3, and he is now defending the Valley of Peace by himself as The Furious Five leave to follow personal missions. It is in this space that Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) informs Po that he must choose his new successor as Dragon Warrior. Po does not want to give up the mantle that he has worked so hard for and become the spiritual leader of the valley. However, when word gets to him that Tai Lung (Ian McShane) has returned and is causing havoc, Po knows an adventure when he hears it. Thankfully, Po has a new guide in Zhen (Awkwafina) to help him tackle the real threat, the sorceress Chameleon (Viola Davis).

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Argylle – Movie Review

TL;DR – A film that makes one of the worst mistakes it can: constantly remind you of better films you could be watching.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Agent Argylle is captured.

Argylle Review

Today is a bit of an awkward review because I am exploring a work from people both in front of and behind the camera who I have deeply loved before. However, today, I am looking at a film that fails at almost every single step. It failed so badly that I had moved from frustration to disappointment, to wholly checked out by the time I rolled my eyes at the mid-credit scene. With that in mind, we will explore just what went wrong because, like many things, it was not just one road bump that led to this.

So to set the scene, we open with Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) infiltrating the lair of Lagrange (Dua Lipa) and initiating a pretty intense dance-off. However, Lagrange knew he was coming and what he looked like because someone in his organisation was a mole. In fact, it could be one of his teammates, Keira (Ariana DeBose) or Wyatt (John Cena). However, just as the big reveal happens, we discover that this story is not real. It is a novel written by noted author Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), whose Argylle series of spy novels are best sellers. However, as Elly takes a train ride with her cat Alfie (Chip) to her mother Ruth (Catherine O’Hara), she is interrupted by the unkempt Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell), who might be leading her into a world she wrote about in fiction, that just might be real.

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Godzilla (2014) Review – Exploring the Past

TL;DR – It’s a bit rough around the edges, but it hits hard when it hits. 

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Stan service that viewed this film.

San Francisco in flames.

Godzilla Review –

With Monarch: Legacy of Monsters starting to air, my thoughts have been brought back to the MonsterVerse. It was a series of films that never got the easy ride that some others did but could still chart out their cinematic universe one monster battle at a time. There is one film in the series that I have never really engaged with: the film that started it all. Well, given how chiefly it fits into the happening in Monarch, I knew now was the time to fix that oversite finally.   
 
 So to set the scene, after exploring the history around nuclear weapons, we find ourselves in the Philippines in 1999. They were about to start a mine when the ground fell out from underneath, taking 40 miners with them. They didn’t find any uranium but a mammoth skeleton of a long-dead creature and an egg. Worse, it looks like there were meant to be two eggs, and one has been opened. Meanwhile, in Janjira, Japan. Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) is concerned about seismic activity near the nuclear power plant when they have a breach as something crashes into the reactor.

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Asteroid City – Movie Review

TL;DR – The framing device does not work, but that is not a significant issue, as it is still an entertaining romp even without it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Mechanics.

Asteroid City Review

Wes Anderson is one of those filmmakers with entirely his own style and can delight or confuse. Before I see one of his films, I am always wondering which way the pendulum will swing for me, and I think this is one of his works that will hit people differently. As I have heard people gushing over it and others bringing a more meh response. But it is finally time for the film in Australia, and it is time for us to check it out.

So to set the scene, we are introduced to a Host (Bryan Cranston) that introduces us to an anthology TV series that is showing the story behind the stage play Asteroid City by noted playwright Conrad Earp (Edward Norton), which is then presented to us as the movie proper. In a small out of the way town of Asteroid City in the middle of the American desert, there is a crater, an inn, a research centre, and an unfinished overpass. Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), a noted war photojournalist, has arrived officially because his son Woodrow (Jake Ryan)  is a Junior Stargazer. Still, unofficially because their mother is dead, and he is about to dump his kids on their grandfather Stanley (Tom Hanks). But things change when he meets Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson), and oh, the world changes.  

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Movie Review – Isle of Dogs

TL;DR – There are some aspects, like the animation which are superb, but also some things like some of the story aspects that leave you wondering why did they make that choice.

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Isle of Dogs

Review

Hmmm, this is a difficult film to review because as much as it is unique work of art celebrating a form of animation that you don’t see much these days. It is also a deeply problematic story with regards to some aspects of its narrative and characterisation, and as such, it is hard to rectify these two halves. Well, it might be difficult, but then that is what we are here to do today so it is time to rise to the occasion and dive into the world of dogs.

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Movie Review – The Disaster Artist

TL;DR The Disaster Artist is … Well, it is certainly … Well um … what did I just watch?

Score – I have no right idea out of 5 stars

P.S. – There is a very odd post-credit scene

The Disaster Artist. Image Credit: A24.

Review

Ok let’s get this out of the way right from the start, I have never watched The Room the film by Tommy Wiseau on which The Disaster Artist based on. Have I heard about it? Yes of course, whenever there is a discussion of worst films or scenes or actors or scripts or well you name it The Room is there. So while I have not watched it, I am familiar with it, but I have never felt the need to watch it all the way through. Look I know it has become a bit of a cult classic, but unlike films that have become cult classics like the Rocky Horror Picture Show or Tron, it always felt that people were more than a little mean-spirited watching something just to make fun of how bad it is. But here we are 20 odd years later and so let’s take a dive into the production of what is considered the worst film ever made by some.

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Movie Review – Power Rangers (2017)

TL;DR – It may have looked like a mess, but wow I’m honestly surprised at just how well they did here.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

P.S. There is a mid-credit scene

Power Rangers. Image Credit: Lionsgate.

Review

Ah, Power Rangers, when I was a kid this was the thing that everyone was watching when we were not following Ash in his journey around Kanto. So part of me was really quite nervous before seeing Power Rangers as this is the first time Hollywood has done one of this big movie reboots of an old media property nostalgia cash grabs (see 21 Jump Street, those Transformer films,  The Man from U.N.C.L.E., the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe etc) from something from my own childhood before. On top of this, the released production stills from the movie showed a major re-envisioning from the original source material, which didn’t really help the situation. So I walked into the movies with more than a little trepidation, but (and it may just be those rose-tinted glasses talking) I walked out really enjoying Power Rangers.

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Movie Review – Kung Fu Panda 3

TL;DR – A beautifully animated film with real heart and warmth, that elevates it above most ‘kids’ films that you see in cinemas.

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

Kung Fu Panda 3. Image Credit: Dreamworks.

Review

Before we start, let’s be honest for a moment, it is not that hard to make a successful kid’s film. Kid’s love simple slapstick humour, vibrant colourful characters, and hey chuck in a sing-along CD and a toy line and you’re set. Indeed parents like anything that they can sit their kid’s in front of so they can have a moment of peace to clean up the carnage that kids leave in their wake. This is why Angry Birds will be a financial success and parent’s cabinets are filled with DVDs of whatever Cars knockoff is going at the moment. Making a successful kid’s film, not that hard, making a good kid’s film, well that’s another thing entirely. However, after last week’s Zootopia and this week’s Kung Fu Panda 3 we can see that it is possible to create a kid’s film that is both successful and in fact really quite good. Indeed it is a really good time for animated films at the moment, and kid’s films in general, because people are actually taking the time to create thought-provoking quality work, see Inside Out, Wreck-it Ralph, Big Hero 6, How To Train Your Dragon, literally anything by Studio Ghibli and indeed today’s film Kung Fu Panda 3.

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