Tag Archives: Movie Reviews

The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An interesting concept for a SpongeBob Movie, that unfortunately, does not have the legs, or fins, or tentacle suckers to stretch to a feature-length movie.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Flying Dutchman on an eyrie sea.

The SpongeBob Movie Review Introduction –

Today, I think I need to preface everything that I am about to say with one clear addendum: I am not the target audience for this film. I feel I need to make that clear from the front because not every film will be written for you, and you should have the wherewithal to understand that before dumping on something. But then I did also sit through it all, so, as we are here …


So, to set the scene, after measuring himself every day, SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny) is finally a “Big Guy”. Someone tall enough to go on the adult rides at the local amusement park. But when SpongeBob is not able to find the courage to hop on the rides with his dear friend Patrick Star (Bill Fagerbakke), he is crushed. But that is when Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) tells him about his time as a swashbuckler with the crew of The Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill). SpongeBob becomes enamoured with the idea of being a swashbuckler as the way to become a genuine big guy; however, Mr. Krabs might not have been telling the whole truth.

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The Roses – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film built entirely on the chemistry of Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman, which is a fundamentally good idea. But then the film makes several choices that make you pause.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman.

The Roses Review Introduction –

Unfortunately, 2025 has not been kind to the satirical Dark Comedy, with many noted filmmakers falling in the attempt to capture that vibe. With film after film falling in its wake. However, can a remake of a classic from 1989 find its footing? Well, to pull that off, you would need to cast two leads with impeccable chemistry and bring it into the 21st century, but there is a chance you can pull it off.    

So, to set the scene, Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch) and Ivy (Olivia Colman) are both professionals working in London and being held back by their respective bosses. However, fate brought them together one day, and the chemistry was instant, so instant that they took a gamble to fly off to California after one meeting. Ten years later, they are married with twins, and Ivy has put her career on hold to raise the family. But when a calamity strikes and Theo is fired, Ivy steps up to take the slack, working in her new restaurant. It is a complete 180° shift in their marriage dynamic, which I am sure will have no lasting repercussions.   

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Unit 234 The Lock Up – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It understands that when you cast Don Johnson, you give the man a monologue.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A truck pulls up to the storage lot at night.

Unit 234 The Lock Up Review –

One of the more interesting shades of drama out there is the surprise trapped. You are going about your day, and then all of a sudden, bam, through the machinations of others or nature, now you are fighting for your life. These are films that live and die on the believability of the scenario and how the characters respond to them. It is in that space we dabble tonight.

So, to set the scene, Laurie Saltair (Isabelle Fuhrman) works, well, is more stuck working for her family’s old storage unit facility. It is a job she inherited, but it is not great for her work/life balance. But what she doesn’t know is that her self-storage unit is about to be at the centre of some regrettable circumstances: a mighty storm is about to hit the coast of Florida, she just crushed her mobile phone in a fall, and some idiot stashed the one thing the wealthy and powerful construction tycoon Jules (Don Johnson) needs in one of her units. What could be in there that he wants so much, and why is there a warning alarm going off?

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Darkgame – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there are some conceptually interesting ideas here, the fact that everyone is playing a one-dimensional character greatly limits its potential.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Prisoners around a table.

Darkgame Review –

As the internet becomes all persuasive in our lives, we are becoming more and more accustomed to the negative possibilities that can exist. But whether real or imagined, one genre that has been populated on popular media is what would ancient Colosseum games look like in a modern era where anyone anywhere can watch on? Today’s review leans into that wholeheartedly as we delve into the world of the dark web.    

So, to set the scene, Detective Ben Jacobs (Ed Westwick) is a detective who is famous for finding two lost brothers who have been kidnapped. However, something new has come across his desk: a disturbing video feed from the dark web called Russian Roulette. A masked Presenter (Andrew P Stephen) is making contestants play games against each other. Only the loser meets a grizzly demise. Imagine Sam Reich with a murder kink and making a truckload of money from betting customers. One of those contestants was Fay (Sophie Rankin), who is one of the missing cases Ben was working on, so this is now personal. But when another person is kidnapped, Katia (Natalya Tsvetkova), only time will tell if they catch the perpetrators before more bodies drop.

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The Island (Haunted Heart/ Isla Perdida) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Some films are greater than the sum of their parts, and then we have today’s entry that has all the right ingredients, yet, like me, every time I try to make bread, nothing rises from it.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Island

The Island Review –

So, to set the scene, it is Greece in 2001, and people are making their way around the many Greek islands. One of those is Álex (Aida Folch), who is making her way to a secluded restaurant to be their new hostess. It is the kind of restaurant full of fresh flavours that you could feel were pulled right from the sea that surrounds you. But because she is late, the restaurant owner, Max (Matt Dillon), demotes her to server. It is her dream job, dream location, and the boss is quite fine, which is why she does not see all the warning signs everywhere.

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The Electric State – Movie Review

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TL;DR – What if you smashed The Creator into Ready Player One and then made something mostly soulless with the components?

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

A wall, Hiding a desolate landscape full of robot corpses.

The Electric State Review –

These days, it is hard to find big-budget films based on an original story or at least an unadapted work. Let alone a movie with a budget that is reportedly one of the biggest in cinematic history. But if you are going to spend that much on something, the question is: have you made something of real substance? And I am not sure that happened here.    

So, to set the scene, 1990 was a simpler time. It was before the war. Where Michelle (Millie Bobby Brown) can watch her brother Christopher (Woody Norman) destroy math tests that take college professors days to complete. But there is a growing anti-robot sentiment growing across the nation. That is because robots decided they didn’t want to do all the menial labour we were making them do and rebelled. It was war, a war humanity was losing, which was when Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci) arrived as a saviour. Now, everyone is hooked into his SENTRE tech, and all the remaining robots are sent to an exclusion zone. In 1994, Michelle, who lives as a ward of the state, arrives at her house when a Cosmo (Alan Tudyk) bot changes everything.

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Silent Zone – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A serviceable if somewhat frustrating zombie flick that does at least land the moments that count.  

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Bandits surround our heroes.

Silent Zone Review –

Well, the zombie film is back in vogue, and I am always interested to see how these concepts get translated across the world. Today’s film makes the most of its location work to explore a world that has fallen apart and the people trying to survive it.  

So, to set the scene, at the start of a zombie outbreak, Abby had the misfortune of watching her family get killed and try to turn on her. She would have joined the dead if it was not for a police officer, Cassius (Matt Devere), who killed her reanimated family. Ten years later, society has completely collapsed, and few survivors exist to live out a life of shrinking resources and constant threats of ferals. Abigal (Luca Papp) and Cassius live in the woods, two weeks away from an island of security. But when a scout from a herd finds them, they know time is not on their side.

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The Last Journey (Den Sista Resan) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It was a fascinating and emotional film, but I did walk away with a number of questions that did not quite sit right with me.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

An orange car.

The Last Journey Review –

There are some films that you don’t know what you are getting yourself into before you sit down. Today, the fact that this film is called The Last Journey gave me a little guide on where we were going to drive. However, this is one of those films that no matter how prepared you are walking in, you will still be an emotional mess by the end [or in the first five minutes if you are me].

So, to set the scene, back in 2008, Lars Hammar retired from teaching to enter his glorious third age. However, instead of freeing himself to explore the world, Lars has retreated into his lovely armchair from Belgium and seems content to stay there until he passes. Well, his son Filip has decided that it is time to get his father out of whatever funk he has found himself in by taking him on the same journey to the south of France that they used to do every year when they were children. Show him the world from the back of a small orange vintage car and hope that they restart that spark in him. Well, that is the plan. The question is, can they even get out of Sweden?

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American Dreamer – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It was a profoundly odd film that was also surprisingly charming.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film

Peter Dinklage and Shirley MacLaine laugh in the sand.

American Dreamer Review –

There are times when you want a big, bombastic work of cinema, and then there are times when you want a smaller character work where an actor can really dig into a character. Today, we get to look at the latter, set in the odd world of academia, which I understand, and the stranger world of real estate, of which I do not.

So, to set the scene, Dr Phil Loder (Peter Dinklage) is an adjunct professor of economics, which means he is not high up on the academic totem pole. He is not well thought of and will never have the money for the house he wants [look … relatable]. As people say, “he is a dreamer, not a doer”. But one day, when looking at the houses he can’t afford, he comes across a listing for a home that is well out of his reach but with a ‘Live In’ option that cuts millions of dollars off the price. It seems too good to be true; the owner gets to stay there until they die, but she is old, so that shouldn’t be much of a wait. 

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How to Make Gravy Review: A Deep Dive into Generational Trauma

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TL;DR – I was not sure what to expect with this film going, but a deep exploration of generational trauma was the surprise that the film needed, that and gravy.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Binge service that viewed this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Art of rescuing his dad from jail.

How to Make Gravy Review –

One of the many odd traditions that happen in an Australian Christmas, along with seafood for Christmas lunch and the need to make Santa learn how to surf in his winter outfit for some reason, is that a song about making gravy becomes fantastically popular. It is a sad song of regret and longing for the family at a time when connections are fraught, and it has always felt like an odd choice for a Christmas song, but I didn’t get a say in that collective cultural choice. But will that song make a good film? Well, that is the question we will look at today.

So, to set the scene, last Christmas, everything changed, especially when it was the first Christmas without their grandmother. But no matter what happens, the family comes together and quietly judges that Joe (Daniel Henshall) lost his job. There is the joy of all the family coming together, but then the undercurrent of loss because one person is no longer there. Joe was struggling with everything and just does not want to talk to everyone, even though wants him to speak. Soon, a tipping point was reached, and Joe didn’t come home. Now, all his son Angus (Jonah Wren Phillips) wants for Christmas is to see his dad again.

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