Tag Archives: Film

Honey Don’t! – Movie Review

Posted on by
2

Honey Don’t! – No matter how much style, Honey Don’t! has, and it has a lot, none of that makes up for the hollow narrative that meanders around before realising it needs to finish at some point.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an audio sting at the end of the credits, but it’s not something you need to stay for.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress

HNYDONT number plate on a car.

Honey Don’t! Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that is confounding. Honey Don’t! has style, is filled with a strong cast, and an interesting setting. Throw in one of the Coen brothers, and this should have been absolute gold. But no matter what they threw at the screen, none of it stuck. To the point where it is almost interesting just how much it misses the mark
 
So, to set the scene, we arrive at a car crash, a lady drove over an embankment and ended up at the bottom of a canyon. Oddly, police detective Marty Metakawich (Charlie Day) from homicide is there, but why is Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley), a private investigator, on the scene? Well, for you see Mia (Kara Petersen), who is now dead, we assume, was a potential client of Honey’s, and the question remains: was she killed before she could talk?   

Continue reading →

Primitive War – Movie Review

Posted on by
6

TL;DR – Few films can sell me on a premise alone, but what if Dinosaurs were in the Vietnam War is 100% the way to go about it.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes with flashing lights.

A boat glides up a Vietnamese river.

Primitive War Introduction –

Every now and again, you find a film that has been laser-focused on your interests. For me, you must work to make me not interested once you have mentioned the word dinosaurs. Start with the premise ‘what if dinosaurs suddenly showed up in the middle of the Vietnam War’, now you don’t just have my interest, you have my full attention

So, to set the scene, it is 1968, and the Vietnam War is in full swing. In the middle of the war, a Green Beret platoon was sent into a jungle valley to find out what the Russians were doing there, only for none of them to return, and a final radio call was cut off halfway through. General Amadeus Jericho (Jeremy Piven) needs the information the recon team collected. Still, he can’t have it known, so he sends in the Vulture Squad led by Ryan Baker (Ryan Kwanten), as they are a bunch of misfits. They find the remains of the Green Berets, but also an unusually large feather. It is clear that the Green Berets were not able to finish their recon before they were taken out, so the Vulture Squad trek into the jungle to find the Russian base, not realising what might be waiting, hiding, stalking in the bushes.  

Continue reading →

Nobody 2 – Movie Review

Posted on by
Reply

TL;DR – While it does not hit as hard as the first Nobody, Home Alone in an amusement park, when you can kill those after you, is a solid hook.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are photos in the credits.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Hutch waits for the kill.

Nobody 2 Introduction –

Back in 2021, we saw a genre being born, where we discovered that if you wanted to ace the John Wick action style and transport it into different franchises, then you got the people who made John Wick to do it. Thus, Nobody smashed its way through many competitors and solidified Derek Kolstad and 87North Productions as one of the kings of modern action films. Now, the question is whether that can strike lightning twice with an old, grumpy man trying to live his life.

So, to set the scene, ever since the events in the first film, Hutch (Bob Odenkirk) has had to keep working for the Barber (Colin Salmon) to pay off his debt. While he is working to help his family, it takes him away from them most of the time, as shown in the carefully crafted montage at the start of the film. Things are getting to the breaking point with the family when Hutch decides that he needs to have a vacation, to reconnect with his family, and to take them to somewhere that is special to him, Plummerville. Nostalgia might have been doing a lot of the heavy work. Still, the family make the most of the odd amusement park and tourist town, until a confrontation in an arcade sees someone hit Hutch’s daughter Sammy (Paisley Cadorath). It does not matter if his wife, Becca (Connie Nielsen), wants him to de-escalate, or if he is being a bad role model for his son Brady (Gage Munroe); you don’t hit one of his children. I sure hope this guy is not connected to corrupt cops (Colin Hanks), a corrupt mayor (John Ortiz), and a ruthless smuggler (Sharon Stone), because things could escalate quickly if that were the case.

Continue reading →

Outbreak – Movie Review

Posted on by
Reply

TL;DR – Outbreak shows early promise, but weak character work and mounting frustrations prevent its ending from landing as intended.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Outbreak Introduction –

2025 continues to be a standout year for the old Zombie romp. We have old franchises return with 28 Years Later, The Last of Us came out swinging with its second season, and even Star Trek has had a try. – Despite the crowded field, there’s always room for a surprise and Outbreak came close.  

So, to set the scene, Neil Morris (Billy Burke) is a local ranger at Mourning Rock State Park, going on what they thought was a routine callout to a dog with rabies. But Neil is not at ease with what is going on, as this is the third dog in weeks to become infected, which is made worse by the fact that Chief Mike Cortez (Raoul Max Trujillo) got bitten by the dog in the scuffle and Neil is still dealing with the death/disappearance of his son Ben (Kylr Coffman). But as Neil was out walking in the state park, he was attacked by a woman in partial decomposition, and she was not alone, as screams of others puncture the day.

Continue reading →

Holy Cow (Vingt Dieux) – Movie Review

Posted on by
2

TL;DR – A delightful romp set in the French countryside, in a world of cheese, stock cars, and the perils of growing up.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Comté cheese.

Holy Cow Introduction –

One of my favourite films to review is when directors/writers have been putting in the work to build their craft and finally get the chance to bring their first feature outing to the big screen. Today’s entry is just such a film, with Louise Courvoisier bringing so much of herself to the big screen. Well, it is time to fly to rural France and into the world of cheese.  

So, to set the scene, Totone (Clément Faveau) has just left school and is enjoying that time in his life where all he needs to do in a day is have fun, go drinking with his friends, and occasionally get into fights with kids from the other village. However, his entire life is upended when his father is killed in a car crash, and suddenly, he must care for his young sister Claire (Luna Garret). Totone must sell almost everything to survive; however, when he discovers there is a €30,000 prize for the best Comté cheese. Well, Totone takes it upon himself and commits some minor theft to make the best cheese in the valley.

Continue reading →

Eddington – Movie Review

Posted on by
2

TL;DR – While the cast is giving their all, the production quality is there. Unfortunately,  what we get is a film that is weird but not interesting, a satire that does not have the strength to interrogate the themes it is working in, and a third act that dulled me to the point I desperately wanted it to be over and done with.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes that may cause distress.

Joaquin Phoenix and Pedro Pascal stand off against each other.

Eddington Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that could be best described as controversial. It is a black comedy, satirising the current political situation in the United States, which in itself would be a fascinating exploration. But add in the guiding hand of vanguard Indy director/writer Ari Aster, and you should have something intriguing. Unfortunately, for me, the word ‘should’ is the operative word in the last sentence.   
 
So, to set the scene, in the Colorado town of Eddington, people are struggling with the new lockdown laws as COVID-19 runs through the country. It is only May 2020, so we are fumbling around trying to see what would work. In this space, we have Joe Cross (Joaquin Phoenix), Eddington’s sheriff, who may have only got the job because he married Louise (Emma Stone), the daughter of the last sheriff. He struggles with many ailments and is struggling with the COVID-19 restrictions put in place by local mayor Ted Garcia (Pedro Pascal). After several confrontations, Cross decides to contest the current mayoral elections, which is where everything descends into chaos.

Continue reading →

Weapons – Movie Review

Posted on by
1

TL;DR – This is one of the most ‘messed’ up films that I have seen, the kind of film where you cross your arms in a vain attempt to put a barrier between you and the screen.  

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

2:17 on a clock.

Weapons Review –

Sometimes you sit down and realise you were fundamentally unprepared for the film you were about to see. That you were prepared for the horror that was coming, well, you thought you were prepared. You crossed your arms, hoping to shield yourself from what was on screen, but nothing could prepare you for Weapons.

So, to set the scene, in a small leafy town in the countryside of America, you can find Maybrook and its elementary school. It is a quaint place where nothing much ever happens, that is, until one day Justine Gandy (Julia Garner) walked into her third-year class to find it empty of every student bar one, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher). One month later, the police are no closer to finding what happened to those seventeen children, and the town is tearing itself apart looking for them. There must be a focus on all that rage, guilt, and sorrow, and unfortunately for Justine, she is that focus. So, as the town focuses their rage on her, the question remains: What happened to the kids at 2:17 in the morning on that fateful day?

Continue reading →

The Naked Gun (2025) – Movie Review

Posted on by
1

TL;DR – While not every joke lands, and runs too long, it is still one of the funniest films I have seen this year.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Police Squad Headquarters.

The Naked Gun Review –

Some films are called iconic for a good reason, whether that is because of the time, the cast, the writing, directing, or more than likely a combination of all of them. Which is why reboots decades later rarely work, they are trying to recreate something that does not exist anymore. But every now and again, someone finds a way to recreate that magic. Today, we look at a film that just might have pulled that off.

So, to set the scene, we open as criminals start tearing a bank apart looking for money, gems, and a P.L.O.T. Device. The police have the bank surrounded when a little girl breaches the barricade and runs into the bank. The criminals think this is a joke, but in reality, it is Lt. Frank Drebin Jr. (Liam Neeson) in disguise. Drebin’s overzealous tactics land several people in the hospital, thus he and his partner, Capt. Ed Hocken Jr. (Paul Walter Hauser) are reassigned to a car crash in the mountains by Chief Davis (CCH Pounder). But after meeting with Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson), sister of the deceased, Drebin discovers that there may be more going on.

Continue reading →

The Fantastic Four: First Steps – Movie Review

Posted on by
1

TL;DR – The best Fantastic Four film by a country mile.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Fantastic Four in a row.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps Review –

Well, it is time for another try at bringing the Fantastic Four to life. This would make it the third reboot of the franchise in my time. To catch you up, I liked the camp fun of Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, but it has been decades since I watched them, so I am not sure how well they have aged. But also, 2016’s Fantastic Four was an amazingly cast failure at almost every level. Which gives us a wide range to be working with even before we take into consideration the current rocky ground the MCU is standing on. But there is always time to find your feet, and I hope that today is that time as we dive headfirst into Phase 6. 


So, to set the scene, we are on Earth, but not as we know it because this is Earth-828, and four years ago, a tragic accident in space created heroes by cosmically changing their DNA. Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic (Pedro Pascal) who can stretch his body, his wife Sue Storm / Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby) who can manipulate light, her brother Johnny Storm / Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) who can turn into flames, and good friend Ben Grimm / The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) has turned into rock. Their emergence has changed the world, but for their family, the only thing that matters is that Sue is pregnant. It is a moment that brings them all together, which is when a harbinger of doom arrives in the sky. The Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) announces to the world that it has been chosen for destruction at the hands of Galactus (Ralph Ineson). The Fantastic Four want to save Earth, but what happens when the price of salvation is too high?

Continue reading →

Smurfs (2025) – Movie Review

Posted on by
Reply

TL;DR – A complete mess of a film that fundamentally does not understand who it wants to be for, and in its attempt to be for everyone, it becomes a movie for no one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – There are sequences with flashing lights.

Smurfette.

Smurfs Review –

Sometimes, as a reviewer, you have to contend with reviewing films that you are clearly not the target demographic for, where you need to pull yourself out of the setting for a bit and experience it like the intended audience. But that all depends on one thing: the film actually working with the people they want it to.

So, to set the scene, a long time ago, four evil wizards captured four magical books and tried to steal all that is good in the world, but luckily, one of the books escaped and the spell was ruined. Some time later, all the Smurfs of Smurf village have come together to sing their daily song. But there is one Smurf out of sync: No Name Smurf (James Corden). Smurfette (Rihanna) tries to help No Name Smurf to find his thing, when even Shark Trainer Smurf was taken. However, as they were getting Smurfberries, No Name Smurf finds his secret talent, magic. But there has never been a Magic Smurf, and we find out why when a magical pulse tips off Razamel (JP Karliak) as to where Smurf Village is, and he captures Papa Smurf (John Goodman) so he can tell him where the last book is. Now the Smurfs have to go on a rescue mission to save Papa Smurf and the whole world.

Continue reading →