The Last Voyage of the Demeter (Dracula: Voyage of the Demeter) – Movie Review

TL;DR – An interesting idea and a tense watch, but it never seems to find its feet and feels drawn out.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Dracula appearing in the night.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter Review

Well, it looks like vampires are back in vogue, specifically the first pop-culture vampiric icon, Dracula. Already this year, we have gotten Renfield, a more satirical take on the walking unholy monster that lives off the blood of others. But today, we dive back into a more traditional horror telling of the character building from an exert of the original Bram Stoker novel.

So to set the scene, it is July 6th, 1897, and in the port of Varna in Bulgaria, the merchant ship Demeter has docked to pick up cargo and welcome new hands. Captain Elliot (Liam Cunningham) is impressed by Clemens’ (Corey Hawkins) quick actions in saving his grandson Toby (Woody Norman) from a falling crate, so he lets him come on as the ship’s doctor. But some of these new crates are stamped with a dragon, which freaks out one of the new crew members, who runs off the ship before they can embark. All is fine until one of the crates falls over as they pass through the Aegean Sea, and they fine a girl barely alive. It is then that the killings start.

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Ready or Not (2019) – Exploring the Past

TL;DR – An electric tense film with more than one moment that made me audibly gasp

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

The family lines up to start hunting.

Ready or Not Review –

Every year there are films you want to see that just slip you by, and today’s film is one of those. I had always meant to see Ready or Not in cinemas, but the session times never lined up. It also missed my end-of-year wrap-up because it didn’t have a solid streaming option yet. This week, I was reminded again of how interesting this film is, and now is better than never.    
 
So to set the scene, Grace (Samara Weaving) is back in her husband-to-be Alex’s (Mark O’Brien) old house, well more mansion. It is a tradition in the le Domas household that all weddings happen on the manor grounds, and while Alex has been estranged from his family for a while, tradition is tradition. Alex’s mother, Becky (Andie MacDowell), hopes this could start a reconciliation between Alex and his family. Grace hopes this could be the family she never had growing up. The le Domas family has a lot of traditions and a weird aunt Helene (Nicky Guadagni), but mostly traditions. One is that on the day someone marries into the family, they must draw a card at midnight and play a game. The le Domas made their money in board games, so this is not completely weird. But what is odd is that when Grace pulls the ‘Hide and Seak’ card, weapons start being removed from the walls.

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Asteroid City – Movie Review

TL;DR – The framing device does not work, but that is not a significant issue, as it is still an entertaining romp even without it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Mechanics.

Asteroid City Review

Wes Anderson is one of those filmmakers with entirely his own style and can delight or confuse. Before I see one of his films, I am always wondering which way the pendulum will swing for me, and I think this is one of his works that will hit people differently. As I have heard people gushing over it and others bringing a more meh response. But it is finally time for the film in Australia, and it is time for us to check it out.

So to set the scene, we are introduced to a Host (Bryan Cranston) that introduces us to an anthology TV series that is showing the story behind the stage play Asteroid City by noted playwright Conrad Earp (Edward Norton), which is then presented to us as the movie proper. In a small out of the way town of Asteroid City in the middle of the American desert, there is a crater, an inn, a research centre, and an unfinished overpass. Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), a noted war photojournalist, has arrived officially because his son Woodrow (Jake Ryan)  is a Junior Stargazer. Still, unofficially because their mother is dead, and he is about to dump his kids on their grandfather Stanley (Tom Hanks). But things change when he meets Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson), and oh, the world changes.  

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Gran Turismo (Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story) – Movie Review

TL;DR – It takes what could have been a boilerplate story and brings it into overdrive with the roar of an engine that rumbles through the cinema.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Jann in his racing helmet.

Gran Turismo Review

There have been a lot of adaptations of video games from Sony at the cinema recently, some good, some bad, and occasionally they can be fantastic. But what we are looking at today is a little bit different. Sure, it is based on and named after a video game, Gran Turismo. However, its full release title here in Australia, Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story, should give you a hint that something else is going on here. Something quite interesting.

So to set the scene, Danny Moore (Orlando Bloom) is a marketing manager from Nissan’s England division, and he has found a problem. Young people don’t care about cars anymore. They are the generation of Uber and such. He flies to Tokyo to Nissan head office to suggest a contest to fix that issue. Because game designer Kazunori Yamauchi (Takehiro Hira) from Polyphony Digital has recreated car racing down to the minutest details in his game/simulation Gran Turismo, if they create a competition where the best drivers in the sim get a chance to be a ready race car driver, they could ignite the passions of an entire player base in driving again. Well, one of those players is Jann Mardenborough (Archie Madekwe), a kid from Cardiff, who is trying to forward his passion in life when everyone else just sees it as a game, and well he is here to prove them all wrong.

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Meg 2: The Trench – Movie Review

TL;DR –Well, Meg 2 is an absolutely abysmal film that flounders at almost every stage while it fails at every front of knowing what sort of film it wants to be.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

They walk through the Trench.

Meg 2 Review

Well, blast, look, honestly, I didn’t see this coming. I was someone who quite liked the first Meg because it scratched that perfect dumb but fun itch that you can get with over-the-top action films. It wasn’t a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination, but it was still entertaining. So, surely a second attempt at this world will at least be amusing… well, unfortunately not.

So to set the scene, it has been some time since the first film, and Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) has been working for the Oceanic Institute based out of Hainan, China, for Jiuming Zhang (Wu Jing). But on his days off, he clandestinely monitors any shady people who could be harming the environment, such as the cargo shin The Kitty Blue that is illegally dumping radioactive material into the Philippine Sea. But things go amiss when the Meg Haiqi breaks out of their enclosure, and they find that they are not the only humans at the bottom of The Trench.

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Star Trek: Strange New Worlds – Under the Cloak of War – TV Review

TL;DR This episode brought a smile to my face from the moment it started till the second those end credits rolled.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Paramount+ streaming service that viewed this episode. 

USS Kelcie Mae

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Review

Well, this week, we get the incredible joy of having not one but two episodes of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. However, they could not be more different as we jump from the joyful romp of Those Old Scientists to a deep exploration of grief and loss and the wounds of war are laid bare.

So to set the scene, the USS Enterprise has rendezvous with the USS Kelcie Mae to collect the Federation ambassador Dak’Rah (Robert Wisdom) from the Prospero System. An ambassador who is a Klingon who defected during the War. This is difficult for many of the crew who fought during the Federation-Klingon War, for example, Chapple (Jess Bush) and M’Benga (Babs Olusanmokun), who were posted on the Moon of J’gal. How do you break bread with a man soaked in the blood of innocents? Now from here, we will be looking at the episode as a whole, so there will be [SPOILERS] ahead.  

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Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Movie Review

TL;DR – While the individual set piece moments are as good as ever, the connecting tissue feels a bit flat this time.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Ethan Hunt/Tom Cruise running.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One Review

When I think back to the Mission: Impossible franchise, the first thing that comes to mind is solid consistency. You can know what to expect from the film before you walk in the door, and they nearly always deliver, yes, even M: I 2. I was delighted to see the next entry, even when a ‘Part One’ moniker is often a bit of a red flag and while those solid aspects are still there, some elements were lacking.

So to set the scene, we are under the Bearing Sea with the Russian submarine Sevastopol as it tests its new AI stealth drive. This drive has allowed it to approach the navies of every world power without being detected. However, when they are heading back to port, something odd happens when an American submarine suddenly sees them but disappears from their monitors after they fire torpedoes. But destruction soon follows. Two keys lead to the sub’s heart, and one ends up in the hands of Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) in the Yemeni Desert. Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny) tasks Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) to obtain the key that every nation in the world wants because, with it, they can control the AI that is currently destroying every intelligence apparatus they have.    

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They Cloned Tyrone – Movie Review

TL;DR – A weird and fascinating film, full of style and an ending that does not hold back.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

losing lotto card.

They Cloned Tyrone Review

Blaxploitation films are a genre I am familiar with but not nearly as versed with as I should be. It is a world, a vibe, a style of filmmaking, and a world that I need to know more about. There is no better time than the present; if it stars one of the current generation’s best actors, that is just gravy.

So to set the scene, Fontaine (John Boyega) runs a drug empire in the local neighbourhood, but one constantly under threat by people moving into his territory. It is a dangerous world, and one day as he tries to get money owed to him by Slick Charles (Jamie Foxx), danger catches up to him as he gets gunned down in his car. Fontaine is dead, dead-dead, making it all the more interesting when he wakes up in bed the next day.  

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Oppenheimer – Movie Review

TL;DR – A visual spectacle and a masterclass in dissecting a complicated life.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains a scene that may cause distress.

Exploding Flames.

Oppenheimer Review

Every now and again, my old life and new life collide in interesting ways. All those years of teaching and exploring Arms Control and Disarmament finally became relevant in my current career. The story of the Manhattan Project is fascinating, as was the life of J. Robert Oppenheimer, whose scope I doubt even three hours can completely cover. But given my general love of Christopher Nolan’s work [see Inception and Dunkirk], I knew I could not miss this one.

So to set the scene, the world is at war as Germany marches across Europe and Japan across the Pacific. This is already a dangerous predicament, but the world of theoretical physics has been running leaps and bounds forward, and everyone can see the endpoint, a bomb, a bomb of devastating potential. What happens if the Nazis get a bomb that can destroy cities? As the world scrambles, only one person in America can lead the Manhattan Project, J. Robert Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy). However, his past might contain more problems than the government can handle.

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Barbie – Movie Review

TL;DR – A deeply sincere film, swinging for the fences. Not everything lands, but you can’t dismiss the passion.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Barbie and Ken.

Barbie Review


If you had asked me which film would have captured everyone’s attention in 2023, I honestly would not have expected it to be Barbie. That is just my biases being shown in full light for all to see. But with every set photo, every casting announcement, and every trailer, you could feel this surge of excitement, and it shows just how good the marketing team behind the movie is and the building excitement to see what a live-action Barbie film could look like. Well, today, that wait is over, and we can dive into a world full of pink where life might still be plastic, but it’s fantastic.

So to set the scene, in Barbie Land, we have a world where a day is not a day without a blowout party with a bespoke song and extensive choreography. In this serene world with pink buildings and gleaming coast lives Barbie (Margot Robbie). Things are looking good. Well, when you have a waterslide from your bedroom to the pool, that is a certain wondrous luxury. But in this wonderous world, Barbie starts to have an existential crisis that manifests itself in different ways, like flat feet. Trying to find a purpose, Barbie decides, after some pushing from Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon), to visit the real world to find the truth about the universe, oh and Ken (Ryan Gosling) stowaways for the ride as well.  

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