Smurfs (2025) – Movie Review

TL;DR – A complete mess of a film that fundamentally does not understand who it wants to be for, and in its attempt to be for everyone, it becomes a movie for no one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – There are sequences with flashing lights.

Smurfette.

Smurfs Review

Sometimes, as a reviewer, you have to contend with reviewing films that you are clearly not the target demographic for, where you need to pull yourself out of the setting for a bit and experience it like the intended audience. But that all depends on one thing: the film actually working with the people they want it to.

So, to set the scene, a long time ago, four evil wizards captured four magical books and tried to steal all that is good in the world, but luckily, one of the books escaped and the spell was ruined. Some time later, all the Smurfs of Smurf village have come together to sing their daily song. But there is one Smurf out of sync: No Name Smurf (James Corden). Smurfette (Rihanna) tries to help No Name Smurf to find his thing, when even Shark Trainer Smurf was taken. However, as they were getting Smurfberries, No Name Smurf finds his secret talent, magic. But there has never been a Magic Smurf, and we find out why when a magical pulse tips off Razamel (JP Karliak) as to where Smurf Village is, and he captures Papa Smurf (John Goodman) so he can tell him where the last book is. Now the Smurfs have to go on a rescue mission to save Papa Smurf and the whole world.

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Monarch: Legacy of Monsters – Beyond Logic & Season 1 – TV Review

TL;DR – It may have left the best for last as it ratchets up the tension and the monsters.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Apple TV+ service that viewed this series.

Godzilla surfaces.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters Review

Well, we have reached the end of our first season of Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, and what a fascinating season it was. We got governmental intrigue, timey-wimey physics, and also some giant roar monsters. In our final update for the season, we are first going to take a look at whether they stuck the landing in this final episode and then also how well the season worked as a whole.

So, to set the scene, At the end of Axis Mundi, everything went wrong. The monsters attacked the old nuclear plant in Kazakhstan, setting off the explosions, and throwing Cate (Anna Sawai), May (Kiersey Clemons), and Shaw (Kurt Russell) into the portal and badly wounding Kentaro (Ren Watabe) and Tim (Joe Tippett). Cate thought she was going to die. The last thing she expected to find was herself alive in the underworld or that the person who would come to her rescue was none other than her grandmother Keiko (Mari Yamamoto), who had not aged a day. We will be looking at the episode and season as a whole from here, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead. 

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Monarch: Legacy of Monsters – Aftermath – TV Review

TL;DR – This was a fascinating start, jumping between timelines and preparing us for the approaching mystery.  

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Apple TV+ service that viewed this series.

The Monarch logo.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters Review

If you look out to the cinematic landscape, you can see a world full of cinematic universes, or at least the attempt to make cinematic universes that never get anywhere. But as my list of them keeps growing, there is one that has been intriguing me, the MonsterVerse. It always felt like it was holding on with the skin of its teeth, but when doing that, it provided some of the best entertainment that I have seen in a while. Today, we jump into its first attempt at episodic television exploring the aftermath of tragedy.  

So to set the scene, we open on Skull Island in 1973, where Bill Randa (John Goodman) gives a heartfelt goodbye before he thinks he will die from a giant spider. The spider met a crab, but still, his goodbye made it out, and in 2013, it was picked up in the Sea of Japan. In 2015, Cate Randa (Anna Sawai) is returning home to Tokyo to settle her late father’s affairs. She was in San Francisco when Godzilla attacked, and the memories run deep as she sees how Tokyo prepares for the next attack. But nothing equipped her for what she found when she entered her father’s Tokyo apartment. We will be looking at the episode as a whole from here, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead. 

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We’re Back! – A Dinosaur’s Story (1994) – Exploring the Past

TL;DR – A fascinating time capsule to the early 1990s, which might feel as far in the past as the dinosaurs featured. 

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no Post-Credit Scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Looking at a past Earth.

We’re Back! – A Dinosaur’s Story Review –

I always like plugging in gaps in my knowledge when it comes to cinema, especially when it hits one of those topics that I am deeply passionate about. Well, if you have dived into our site before, you will know that I love dinosaurs, and as someone who grew up in the 1990s, I thought I had watched all the tentpole dinosaur films from that era. Well, this week, I was reminded that this was not the case, and that was something that I had to fix pronto.

So to set the scene, Captain Neweyes (Walter Cronkite) and his assistant Vorb (Jay Leno) have a plan to bring dinosaurs from the past to the present and make them sentient. Thus Rex (John Goodman), Woog (René Le Vant), Dweeb (Charles Fleischer), and Elsa (Felicity Kendal) are ripped from their time and brought to the future. So many children wish to meet a dinosaur, and Neweyes has chosen to grant that wish, which is when he kicks the dinos out of his spaceship to parachute to New York City below.     

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Transformers Series Review – Exploring the Past

TL;DR –.We explore the highs and lows, and lows, of the Transformers film series.

Disclosure – I paid for the Paramount+/Amazon Prime services that viewed these films.

Transformers

We might be in the era of nostalgia, but that does not mean that current films can capture what made those original properties soar. An excellent example of this is Transformers, a series that swings wildly in quality and in how it connects with the series it is based on, and now I have watched them all.

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Movie Review – Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Valérian et la Cité des mille planètes)

TL;DR – Truly beautiful visuals, and fascinating worlds, and … well not a whole lot else unfortunately

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Valérian et la Cité des mille planètes). Image Credit: STX Entertainment.

Review

I’ve really been impressed by Luc Besson previous work, indeed, I would probably put The Fifth Element on my top 10 Films of All-time List if I ever got around to making one, which I should, come to think of it. So given everything I have seen of Luc Besson’s filmography, I’m going to be honest, I came into Valerian with really high expectations, indeed maybe that was the problem. So in today’s review, we are going to first look at the production side of things, and the world building, before taking a stab at the story.

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Movie Review – Atomic Blonde

TL;DR – Atomic Blonde is a technically brilliant film, but unfortunately the story does not quite live up to the rest of it

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

Atomic Blonde. Image Credit: Universal.

Review

So I have a pitch for you: we have an MI6 agent who romps through Berlin in the closing days before the Wall falls, they take down Soviet goons, drink vodka, seduce foreign intelligence agents, whilst acting condescendingly toward their superiors. Oh and no this is not a missed Bond entry during its Dalton-Brosnan hiatus, oh and the MI6 agent is played by Charlize Theron, it’s an interesting pitch, you have to at least give it that. However, while this pitch is interesting, Atomic Blonde is a very peculiar film, because it has a lot of things that really work for it, but it also has some other issues that really hold it back. So let’s jump in and discover the underworld of Berlin in the late 1980s, but beware there is at least one David Hasselhoff reference in your near future.

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Movie Review – Transformers: The Last Knight

TL;DR – There is a good movie in here somewhere, it’s just not the one we ended up with

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Transformers The Last Knight. Image Credit: Paramount.

Review

Well here we go again another Transformers film and another disappointment, though a slightly different disappointment this time round. What is interesting with Transformers is more so than say the Star Wars Prequels or other bad films, I can actually pinpoint where it was that this series fell apart for me. I was really enjoying the first two-thirds of the first film and then outside the Hoover Dam wanting to hide the AllSpark from the Decpticons the one person who had shown any military understanding up to that point goes ‘Let’s take it to Mission City to evacuate it’ and that was it in one moment my entire suspension of disbelief crashed down around me. It made no sense, sure it led to a visually spectacular action sequence, but given you were surrounded by desert the best option was to take it as far away from civilisation to protect people, and of course, a lot of people died because of that stupid decision. Since then I gave the second film a go because the first film was affected by the writer’s strike, so maybe they would learn from where they went wrong, well no, not at all. From there we had Dark of the Moon which was as bad as its title and Extinction was well more or less a bit meh. I tell you this because I came into this advanced screening with very low expectations but against my better judgement about half way through I found myself actually going along for the ride only to be let down once again.

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Movie Review – Kong: Skull Island

TL;DR – Fantastic action, amazing visuals, interesting characters, and the best rendition of King Kong in a long while, this is a must watch film

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

P.S. There is a post-credits scene

Kong: Skull Island. Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Review

The more and more we heard about Kong: Skull Island, the more I had a feeling that Kong was either going to be a masterpiece or a heaping pile of trash, I just could not see a middle ground happening. Well, I was right, Kong: Skull Island is not a mediocre film at all, and thankfully it is not a pile of trash either, instead it is an epic film that makes the most of the characters whilst setting it away from the traditional narrative. The effects alone make it a film you have to see, but it is so much more than just a technically brilliant film, it has a strong narrative, characters you relate to, and one of the more interesting island set ups I have seen since I read Dinotopia, quick aside, can we actually get that Dinotopia film now please and thank-you. Ok so let’s go break down why I think you should go see Kong: Skull Island.

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Movie Review – 10 Cloverfield Lane

TL;DR – Wow, just wow, this film has just 3 actors, is basically filmed in the one set, and yet it is one of the most tense films I have ever seen.

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

10 Cloverfield Lane. Image Credit. Paramount.

Review

Tension in films is a very difficult thing to pull off, if you keep things tense for too long the audience gets exhausted, but if you try to apply the brakes you can shatter the suspension of disbelief and you can’t get that back. I bring this up because 10 Cloverfield Lane is a masterpiece in managing tension, and is a testament to what you can do with such a small budget.

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