Karate Kid: Legends – Movie Review

TL;DR – Elevates what could have just been a very paint-by-numbers legacy film by filling it with joy, fun, and, importantly, compassion.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is more after the end title card.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Mr Han looks over sparing students.

Karate Kid: Legends Review

One of the most prevalent shifts in media in the modern era has been the rise of the Legacy Film. This is when you take some old story, bring back the old cast, and then attempt to hand the franchise off to a new generation. Now, to be fair, sometimes they work really well, but other times they can be a complete mess. However, today, we are looking at a franchise that is trying this for the third time, which is both fascinating and a bit concerning if they can’t make it work.

So, to set the scene, Li Fong (Ben Wang) lives in Beijing and loves kung-fu. He is trained by his great-uncle, Mr Han (Jackie Chan), but mostly in secret because his mother, Dr Fong (Ming-Na Wen), does not want him fighting after the death of her eldest son. But Li often goes and trains in secret, well, what he thinks is secret. But it is time for a massive change for the Fong family as Dr Fong takes a job in New York. A fresh start for all. But the past has a habit of not staying in the past.

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Ballerina (From the World of John Wick: Ballerina) – Movie Review

TL;DR – It is a perfectly serviceable film with some highlights, but it feels like it is starting to make the same mistakes that all the John Wick films are currently doing.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to view this film.

Eve walks into a gun room.

Ballerina Review

When I first watched John Wick back in 2014, I knew that I was watching something special, but I never knew the world we were going to find as things expanded. Well, we have had four films and one middling TV series. However, now it is time to branch out and see the other stories that exist in this vast world. Today’s entry is the first attempt to pull that off, and so it is time to see how well they made it work.  

So, to set the scene, Eve Macarro (Victoria Comte) was living with her father, Javier (David Castañeda), in a mansion by the sea. However, one night, evil comes from the water, and while her father fights valiantly, he is not able to save both of them. Thankfully, Eve has a guardian angel in Winston Scott (Ian McShane), who brought her to her family, the Ruska Roma, controlled by the Director (Anjelica Huston). Here, Eve is given a choice, and after many years of training, Eve (Ana de Armas) is now ready to enter the world and take revenge on those who crossed her.   

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Unit 234 The Lock Up – Movie Review

TL;DR – It understands that when you cast Don Johnson, you give the man a monologue.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A truck pulls up to the storage lot at night.

Unit 234 The Lock Up Review

One of the more interesting shades of drama out there is the surprise trapped. You are going about your day, and then all of a sudden, bam, through the machinations of others or nature, now you are fighting for your life. These are films that live and die on the believability of the scenario and how the characters respond to them. It is in that space we dabble tonight.

So, to set the scene, Laurie Saltair (Isabelle Fuhrman) works, well, is more stuck working for her family’s old storage unit facility. It is a job she inherited, but it is not great for her work/life balance. But what she doesn’t know is that her self-storage unit is about to be at the centre of some regrettable circumstances: a mighty storm is about to hit the coast of Florida, she just crushed her mobile phone in a fall, and some idiot stashed the one thing the wealthy and powerful construction tycoon Jules (Don Johnson) needs in one of her units. What could be in there that he wants so much, and why is there a warning alarm going off?

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Darkgame – Movie Review

TL;DR – While there are some conceptually interesting ideas here, the fact that everyone is playing a one-dimensional character greatly limits its potential.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Prisoners around a table.

Darkgame Review

As the internet becomes all persuasive in our lives, we are becoming more and more accustomed to the negative possibilities that can exist. But whether real or imagined, one genre that has been populated on popular media is what would ancient Colosseum games look like in a modern era where anyone anywhere can watch on? Today’s review leans into that wholeheartedly as we delve into the world of the dark web.    

So, to set the scene, Detective Ben Jacobs (Ed Westwick) is a detective who is famous for finding two lost brothers who have been kidnapped. However, something new has come across his desk: a disturbing video feed from the dark web called Russian Roulette. A masked Presenter (Andrew P Stephen) is making contestants play games against each other. Only the loser meets a grizzly demise. Imagine Sam Reich with a murder kink and making a truckload of money from betting customers. One of those contestants was Fay (Sophie Rankin), who is one of the missing cases Ben was working on, so this is now personal. But when another person is kidnapped, Katia (Natalya Tsvetkova), only time will tell if they catch the perpetrators before more bodies drop.

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Mapping Sony’s Spider-Man Universe – Map-It

TL;DR – As requested, we mapped all the locations featured in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe.

Venom. Image Credit: Sony.

Mapping A Failed Experiment

Whenever I post a map, I always ask for suggestions of pop-culture things that people would like to get mapped. Sometimes, you have interesting suggestions like Indiana Jones that make you think. Other times, it feels like someone wants to make you suffer. Well, today is the latter, as some of my readers have asked me to map Sony’s ill-fated Spider-Man Universe without Spider-Man in it. Now, for clarity, these are all the films that make up the Villain series of films, well villain-lite films, such as Venom, Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Morbius, Madame Web, Venom: The Last Dance & Kraven the Hunter. They don’t include the MCU Spider-Man films Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home & Spider-Man: No Way Home, which you can find on our MCU Map. Nor do they include the Spider-verse films Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse & The Spider Within because they are their own thing.

So, with this map, I have tried to find every location that I could, but this has led to some issues. There are a lot of places where there are no precise locations. With that in mind, I have made some educated guesses, such as putting Chameleon’s Club in Soho. I have used the actual filming locations as a guide where possible, but there is not a lot of data on that, especially for the later films, and a lot of times, different cities are subbing in for another. For example, the car chase in Venom jumps from San Francisco to Atlanta and back again in between cuts. 

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The Phoenician Scheme – Movie Review

TL;DR – Weird and wonderful in equal measure.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zsa-zsa looks up at you from a bath.

The Phoenician Scheme Review

Today, we are going to experience a touch of tonal whiplash when it comes to our film reviews. Because we are going from Fountain of Youth, where I could not tell was directed by Guy Ritchie as all his signature stull was sandblasted out of the film, and in the days since I am still wondering if he actually directed that film. But now we are hard cutting to the opposite side of that spectrum with the most stylistic director working in the field today. A man with a stylistic pallet that is oft copied but never replicated. I was first introduced to Wes Anderson’s work through Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and was delighted by his reinterpretations of Roald Dahl’s short stories like Poison a couple of years ago. This means I came into this with somewhat high expectations, and I think they met them and more.  

So, to set the scene, in 1950, Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is flying above the Balkin mountains when an explosion rips apart his plane, yet miraculously, he survives, for this is not the first assassination attempt on his life. He feels like his life work might get cut off by influential players seeking to ruin him and realises that his legacy is not going to be passed down to his ten other sons. Zsa-zsa calls upon his one and only daughter, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who is about to take her nun oaths. However, he offers her a deal, well, a trial run, at being his sole heir to his fortune, as long as he can fill in the gap in this funding that the shadowy powers just forced upon him. Oh, and stop all the many, many, many people trying to kill him.

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Fountain of Youth – Movie Review

TL;DR – Dull.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the AppleTV+ service that viewed this film.

The Austrian Library.

Fountain of Youth Review

There is a genre in the Action-Adventure that leans into hunting lost artefacts, which, of course, makes you think of Indiana Jones and National Treasure or more. I honestly love these films because they capture that childlike wonder when I was discovering the world and learning about history. So, when I heard that Guy Richie was going to take a stab at a film in this world with a fantastic cast, I was fundamentally excited to give it a watch. I probably should have reset my expectations.

So, to set the scene, we open in the streets of Bangkok as Luke Purdue (John Krasinski) needs to outmanoeuvre a local gang to escape with a painting. As he takes an emergency train ride to Chiang Mai and tries to get some rest, he is woken up by a business opportunity. Esme (Eiza González) gives Luke the ‘opportunity’ to go easily or difficultly. A fight/flirt on the train proceeds. Luke escapes and now has a mission in his life. He is going to need a team to pull it off: Murf (Laz Alonso), Deb (Carmen Ejogo), Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), and his sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), which he may or may not have just gotten into a lot of trouble with her boss, ex-husband, oh and also INTERPOL.    

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The Island (Haunted Heart/ Isla Perdida) – Movie Review

TL;DR – Some films are greater than the sum of their parts, and then we have today’s entry that has all the right ingredients, yet, like me, every time I try to make bread, nothing rises from it.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Island

The Island Review

So, to set the scene, it is Greece in 2001, and people are making their way around the many Greek islands. One of those is Álex (Aida Folch), who is making her way to a secluded restaurant to be their new hostess. It is the kind of restaurant full of fresh flavours that you could feel were pulled right from the sea that surrounds you. But because she is late, the restaurant owner, Max (Matt Dillon), demotes her to server. It is her dream job, dream location, and the boss is quite fine, which is why she does not see all the warning signs everywhere.

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Space/Time – Movie Review

TL;DR – A wildly ambitious film, which while it doesn’t always live up to the promise it makes, when it does land, it is wildly fascinating.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A plant sits in front of the machine about to make a portal.

Space/Time Review

One of the things I like best about my job is when you find something that has taken a big swing to explore. Not content to play it safe, they reach for the sky and don’t care if they hit the Moon or not. I do love exploring that kind of creativity, even if it does not always pan out.

So, to set the scene, in the not-too-distant future, society is on the verge of collapse. Years of environmental degradation have taken their toll, and the biosphere might not hold up in the long run. It is in this space where scientists, like Holt (Hugh Parker), have been working on a secluded island to find ways to stave off the collapse. They tried to develop wormhole travel, but it backfired spectacularly, and many were killed. Liv (Ashlee Lollback) and Harris (Pacharo Mzembe) have tried to move on with their lives after the calamity. Still, when the opportunity to dabble in some illegal science comes up, Liv can’t help but dive back into a world that almost took her life last time.  

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Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning – Movie Review

TL;DR – Does it nail those moments of spectacle? Absolutely, in ways few can. But it is also filled with a lacklustre antagonist, a meandering narrative, and a desperate need to find some relevance. Look, it is just okay, and that’s fine.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Tom Cruise Running.

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning Review

Well, we have apparently reached the end of an era, though I will believe that when we see the box office earnings. But if this is the end, does it create a satisfying narrative to justify this massive franchise coming to a close? Can it create a level of visual excellence that makes it stand out from those who came before it? Will it make Tom Cruise run the most? These were the questions I had in my mind as I sat down with my popcorn and drink.

So, to set the scene, it has been a few months since Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning [now minus the dangling Part One] and Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team of Luther (Ving Rhames) and Benji (Simon Pegg) have gone to ground with the Crucifix Key. While hiding, the AI Entity has infiltrated most of the world and has artificially created tension among the nations. The Earth is a powder keg waiting to go off, The Entity has created a doomsday cult to forward its means, and Gabriel (Esai Morales) is still out there causing chaos. However, Ethan Hunt has a plan; the only issue is how many of his friends he might have to sacrifice before the end.

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