Category Archives: 2024 Reviews

Alien: Romulus – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Beware of Weyland-Yutani Corp representatives bearing gifts.  

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Jackob's Star Planet.

Alien: Romulus Review –

I have always had an interesting relationship with the Alien films. When I was a kid, a snippet of people crawling through an air vent and a life sign catching up with them scared the life out of me. It goes without saying that Aliens have the legacy it has for a reason. However, recent entries have always pulled me in different directions. For example, Alien: Covenant was a stunningly beautiful film filled with people acting like they had no sense. However, there is a core of these films that can work, and that was what I was looking for today.

So, to set the scene, life is hard in Jackson’s Star Mining Colony, 60-odd light years from Earth. While the mines are rich, the storms constantly rain, the clouds block out the sun, and the mine continually kills people through collapse or disease. Rain Carradine (Cailee Spaeny) has worked hard to get her quota done so she and her brother Andy (David Jonsson) can get off and go live in an independent farming colony when they discover that The Company has doubled their quota. They must stay for six more years. Rain is distraught, but her old friend Tyler (Archie Renaux) may have found an out. He and his crew, Kay (Isabela Merced), Bjorn (Spike Fearn), and Navarro (Aileen Wu), have discovered an old ship left in orbit that has an intact hypersleep chamber. If they can steal it, they could get off-planet. The only problem is why the ship is abandoned.

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The King of the Indies (Il Re delle Indie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A fascinating look into an equally fascinating sport that brings a city together while pitting it against itself.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

The town of Arezzo.

The King of the Indies Review –

Today, I felt like I needed a change, which is when an email appeared in my inbox. Maybe it is that the Olympics are on at the time of writing, maybe it’s because I have not watched a good documentary in a while, and perhaps the idea of learning about an obscure yet fascinating sport was what I needed to do today. Whatever the reason, I am glad that I sat down and explored the world of jousting in Italy.

So, to set the scene, we fly to Italy, take a drive to Tuscany, and end up in the ancient city of Arezzo. It is here where a medieval tradition still lasts well into the modern age. Each year, four-quarters of the town are pitted together in competition. The goal is to get a centre hit on the ‘King of the Indies’. It is an event that both unites and divides the city. It is filled with spectacle, pressure, and danger. All of it to win the Golden Lance. But what happens when your quarter has not won for 12 years is what we explore today.   

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Beneath Us All – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there was a lot of promise with this scenario, you can tell that there were factors like the budget that held it back.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Left overs from a mauling.

Beneath Us All Review –

Today, we dive back into the world of Vampires, a world of shadows and screams. I have quite liked vampire films in the past because they are this blend of bloody action with profound lore. There are many versions of vampires, and I am interested to see where we will land in today’s film.

So, to set the scene, it is Scandinavia back in 912 AD when a child is ripped apart by a monster that appeared from the woods. The Monster (Yan Birch) was captured, but they could not kill him, so he was buried in a coffin, taken across the seas and then dumped in Vinland. In the modern day, Vinland is now North America and is full of rural Americans. Some of them are Todd (Sean Whalen) and Janelle Gibbs (Maria Olsen), who foster several kids and are not the nicest people in the world. But one day, their foster daughter Julie (Angelina Danielle Cama) is walking in the woods when a perceived noise impacts her head after she touches an amulet, which leads her to something buried in the ground.    

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The G – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a wonderful character piece that maybe promises a touch more on what it can deliver.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film

Two men burring a person.

The G Review –

In the current cinema landscape, it can be easy to go for style over substance. We can do the flash and bang and also the alakazam, but we linger on the surface. Things only become interesting once you dig a little deeper. Today, we look at a film that completely understands that even if it does not quite stick that landing.  

So, to set the scene, we open with two men digging in the snow, only to find them burying a body. These are people who know how to get their way. Their next victim is Ann Hunter (Dale Dickey), an elderly retiree who cares for nothing but her granddaughter Emma (Romane Denis). She is struggling to cope with the pressures of looking after her ill husband Chip (Greg Ellwand), but her life is upturned when Rivera (Bruce Ramsay) pushes them into a home with a trumped-up court order so they can steal her house. But there is no way she is going to let them do that to her.    

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Borderlands – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While I will give it points for getting some of the visual style right, and something must have gotten that cast to sign up. But the final product was a soulless mess of nothingness.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene that you don’t need to stay for.

Warning – There is strobing effects.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Space Station around Pandora.

Borderlands Review –

For a long time, there has been a question about whether you can write an engaging video game adaptation? They have been hit and miss, and many were just made for tax write-offs [allegedly]. However, in recent years, we have found that you can make that translation on both TV and in the cinema, which makes it even more frustrating that we take a return to the past with today’s entry.  

So, to set the scene, we open around the planet of Pandora, where a secret vault containing alien information has drawn vault hunters for generations, leaving the planet trashed and strewn with violent gangs. One man who is after that power is Atlas (Edgar Ramírez), which makes it concerning when one of his own soldiers, Roland (Kevin Hart), kidnaps his daughter Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) and takes her into the quagmire. It has been months, and no one has been able to find her, which is when he goes to Lilith (Cate Blanchett), the one bounty hunter that can take on the planet because she used to live there.

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Walden (The Stenographer) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While the premise is novel, the final product left me more frustrated than anything else.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

The Alexandra Court House.

Walden Review –

When you make a film, you have the whole world to play in, and more really. However, when you touch on real-world issues, do you have an obligation actually to engage with them in a meaningful way? Today, we look at a movie working in that space to see.  

So, to set the scene, in the small town of Alexandria near the City of Atlanta, there is a court stenographer called Walden (Emile Hirsch). It is a job that he is good at, but it does mean that he sees the worst of humanity every day. When a particularly monstrous person tries to kill the judge in front of everyone, well, that changes someone, even worse when you discover you have a brain tumour. However, knowing you are going to die does have a clarifying factor on one’s life and goals. Suddenly helpless, Walden might not be so helpless anymore.    

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A Place Called Silence (Mo Sha, 默杀) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film that wanted to be murky in its depiction of crime but ended up being muddled and frustrating.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

WARNING – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A Place Called Silence Review –

Today, we are looking at a challenging film because it is filled with grand highs and deep lows. Because of this, we get a movie that is frightfully uneven in all the worst ways, even though it deals with some significant subject material. Also, before we dive in, please do not skip over the warning above.

So, to set the scene, Doma City has gone through many struggles in the past, including devastating storms. It is here where Li Han (Janine Chun-Ning Chang) is working as a cleaner in a local school so she can help support her mute daughter Tong (Wang Shengdi). However, while she tries to support her daughter through her struggles, it is made worse by the sheer torment Tong receives from local bullies, including getting glued to a wall. But when the bullies start going missing, it drags more than just the police into the lives of those in the school.

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The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Big personalities and a lot of action, but not a lot more than that.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime service that viewed this film.

Anders Lassen looks through a porthole covered in blood.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare Review –

If there is one film that people have asked me for, it is what happened to The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare? It looked like it was everywhere, and then it disappeared, but that cast and director should have cut through. Well, today, we have a chance to answer that question and give it a look as it finally got a release here in Australia.   

So, to set the scene, it is the height of WW2, and things are not going well for the Allies. In the middle of the Atlantic, patrolled by German U-Boats, a sailboat is being inspected by Nazis. The Nazi Commander does not like the laughing Swedes, even less when those Swedes mow down all his men. It is here that we discover just what is going on. The UK is the last significant power in Europe, not occupied by Axis Powers, and they are being cut off from the air and sea. Hitler is not playing by the rules, storing the rearming operations for the U-Boats in neutral territory. Well, then, it is time for the UK to retaliate with a group of soldiers who do not play by the rules. Led by Gus March-Phillipps (Henry Cavill), Operation Postmaster, all they have to do is sink an Italian Ship in neutral territory before the Nazis move it. To do this, they need a team: Henry Hayes (Hero Fiennes Tiffin), the navigator; Freddy Alvarez (Henry Golding), the explosives expert; Anders Lassen (Alan Ritchson), who is good with wet work, and Geoffrey Appleyard (Alex Pettyfer) intelligence. With Heron (Babs Olusanmokun) and Marjorie Stewart (Eiza González) embedded on the island of Fernando Po, it should all go fine … right …?   

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Star Trek: Prodigy – Ouroboros, Part I, Part 2, and Full Season – TV Review

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TL;DR – A beautiful end to a season, and hopefully not an end of a series.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this series.

A time portal opens up over Earth.

Star Trek: Prodigy Review –

Alas, we have come to the end of the second and hopefully not last season of Star Trek: Prodigy. What a season it was. We will take some time a bit later to explore the season as a whole, but before that, we need to dive into this incredible season finale that went places I was not expecting at all.

So, to set the scene, after Asencia (Jameela Jamil) attacked the USS Voyager-A and the USS Protostar, it became clear that something had to happen before she did irreparable harm to The Federation with her time weapons. The problem is that Starfleet is already spread so far that there is no one else about to get out that far to help them. The combined crews need to stop them fast because, little do they know, Asencia has captured Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton) and mined his mind for secrets she can use to cause galaxy-wide chaos. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode and season as a whole, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead.

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The Acolyte (Star Wars: The Acolyte) – The Acolyte & Season 1– TV Review

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TL;DR – While the finale felt incredibly rushed, I did find the series to be a grand entry in the franchise.  

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service that viewed this series.

Qimir tries to take the helmet of Osha.

The Acolyte Review –

Well, we have reached the end of what has surprisingly become one of the most controversial Star Wars entries since at least The Rise of Skywalker. I am not sure why a series that revelled in the mystical side of The Force that George Lucas loved garnered such a negative response, but here we are. Today, we will first pull apart the season finale before taking some time to explore the season as a whole.

So, to set the scene, at the end of Teach/Corrupt, Sol (Lee Jung-Jae) promised Mae (Amandla Stenberg) that he would tell her what really happened that one fateful night all those years ago. It was a sad series of consequences that led to Sol killing the twin’s mother in Choice. But while Mae has a revelation, Osha (Amandla Stenberg) wakes up in a cave on an unknown planet, where she is captured by Qimir (Manny Jacinto), who wants her to unlock her powers. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode and season as a whole, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead.

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