The Dink – Movie Review

TL;DR – A delightful romp across the court

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Apple TV subscription used to watch this film.

Dusty losses it on a pickleball court.

The Dink Review Introduction

Have you ever had just one of those weeks when nothing catastrophic happened in your life, but each and every aspect of your life is difficult for some reason? It is one of those weeks when you need to sit down and watch something with joy, something with fun. With that in mind, I thought it was time to sit down and watch the latest Jake Johnson joint.

So, to set the scene, Dustin ‘Dusty’ Boyd (Jake Johnson) grew up as ‘The Hammer’ and smashed his way into the world of tennis. That was before an injury cut short his promising career. Now Dustin teaches little kids at his dad’s (Ed Harris) tennis centre, boring the children and antagonising those using the Pickleball courts. Tennis is the king, but pickleball is on the rise, and they want more and more courts. Thus, there is only one solution for this dilemma: a duel.    

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The Last House – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a film that is trying something, but it is working in a space where other contemporaries have excelled.  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix subscription used to watch this film.

Water filling in the cracks of shattered glass.

The Last House Review Introduction

Today we are looking at something that is becoming increasingly rare in modern cinema: a genuinely original film. Not adapted, not spun off, and not based on a toy from 50 years ago. Given how uncommon these projects have become, I knew I had to give The Last House a watch.

So, to set the scene, one Sunday morning a surprise rainstorm appeared on the horizon. It felt like a normal day, but then the internet failed. But even stranger was the fact that none of the doors or windows would open. That’s okay, because you can break windows, right? No, the glass cracks but doesn’t break. Now, you and everyone you know are stuck in their houses, with only the food you happened to have inside.

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One Night Only – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is such a silly premise for a film, but goodness does the chemistry and commitment of the cast make it work.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Owen pushing Allie out of the way.

One Night Only Review Introduction

Today we are looking at a film that might have the most preposterous premise for a story, and that is me taking into account that the ridiculous becoming normal is very much the nature of existence in this time we live in. But can you do something interesting with a preposterous premise? A Dystopian Romcon? That is what we will look at today.  

So, to set the scene, in the not-too-distant future, the United States has outlawed sex outside marriage and enforces this via sensor data chips implanted in every person that sends information about your bodies back to the government via 5G. However, for one night a year, the ban is lifted. It is here where we meet Owen (Callum Turner), who is about to propose to his girlfriend (Maya Hawke) over dinner and Allie (Monica Barbaro), who is tired of meaningless hookups and is hoping to find something more meaningful on this of all nights. That is their plan, but like an old general once said, no plans survive first contact with the enemy.

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Spider-Man: Brand New Day – Movie Review

TL;DR – While there are limitations from a narrative perspective, the core strength of the characters shines through in a compelling way.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit sting.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Spider-Man sitting upside down on a skyscraper.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Review Introduction

This was a bit of an odd film for me, because of a number of factors. The first being my love of the MCU has been waning; I have not had the time or strength to keep up with its Disney+ outputs, and some of its recent films have been profoundly lacklustre. To add to this, I found the resolution of the last film, Spider-Man: No Way Home, to feel more like corporate maintenance than compelling storytelling. But given half the cast of the Odyssey is here, I thought it prudent to give it at least a go on its own terms.
 
So, to set the scene, it has been a hard couple of years for Peter Parker (Tom Holland), while Spider-Man (Tom Holland) has been out there becoming the hero of New York as he always wanted to be. Peter has lived a closed-off life, as the memory of the loss of Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) looms large. It doesn’t help that his two best friends, MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon), both forgot who he was and went off to live their own lives. But when an unknown entity starts attacking the Department of Damage Control by jumping between people, Peter realises there could be a dangerous enemy afoot, unless the imbalances in his own body take him down first.

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72 Hours – Movie Review

TL;DR – A film that is made worse by the addition of a lead character that should not be there.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

He's Ours! in text.

72 Hours Review Introduction

Today we are looking at a very odd film, because on the surface, this is a comedy that should work, a perfect fish-out-of-water disaster film in the vein of Dude Where Is My Car or Eurotrip. However, there is one narrative choice that permeates the film and makes it worse in every possible way.  

So, to set the scene, Joe (Kevin Hart) is an advertising executive looking to become the chief creative officer. The one problem is that he sucks at connecting with Gen Z, which is becoming a liability to him getting the top job. This is when he accidentally gets included on a group thread for a bachelor party in Miami. It was a mistake, but when the world gives you an opportunity for a purpose-built focus group, you might as well take advantage of it. Though Hunter (Ben Marshall), Freshman (Kam Patterson), Mason (Mason Gooding), and Nick (Marcello Hernández) might not be happy with the exploitation.  

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The Odyssey (2026) – Movie Review

TL;DRThe Odyssey is a rare blockbuster that combines spectacle, emotion, and myth in equal measure. It left me awestruck, unsettled, and completely engrossed from beginning to end.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes with flashing lights.

Ships on the ocean at sunset.

The Odyssey Review Introduction

There are many foundational myths across the world, such as the Epic of Gilgamesh, Kebra Nagast, and Beowulf, to name a few. Each is written in a style of myth and history in a way that evokes the human condition. Today we look at Christopher Nolan’s dive into this world, taking on the unenviable task of bringing The Odyssey to the big screen.  

So, to set the scene, it has been twenty years since Odysseus (Matt Damon) left on the command of Agamemnon (Benny Safdie) to siege Troy and return the ‘kidnapped’ Helen (Lupita Nyong’o) to Menelaus (Jon Bernthal). However, it has been eight years since the city fell to the Trojan Horse gambit, and Odysseus has still not returned home to his wife Penelope (Anne Hathaway) and son Telemachus (Tom Holland). This has been enough time for new suitors to start sniffing around, trying to gain the kingship of Ithaca via marrying Penelope. She has held them off for years, even as they use Zeus’ Sacred law to bleed her dry with banquet after banquet. Penelope holds on, partly because she knows they will kill her son as soon as a new heir is born, but also because deep down in her heart, she knows that Odysseus is alive out there somewhere.

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Moana (2026) – Movie Review

TL;DR – For better or worse, it is almost beat-for-beat the same film as 2016.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Moana and Tala walk along the beach.

Moana Review Introduction

Well, here we are with a live-action remake of an animated film that was only released ten years ago. Disney’s track record with live-action remakes is not great, and that is before we even consider the ones they quietly dumped onto Disney+ like straight-to-DVD sequels. Which puts me in a kind of odd situation, as I am on record with how much I like the original Moana; indeed, it is still one of My Personal Top 10 Animated Films of All Time, and I even kind of liked the flawed sequel. However, last year’s How to Train Your Dragon showed that you can make that transition work, so I am here to see if You’re Welcome lands as well in 2026 as it did in 2016.  

So, to set the scene, deep in the Pacific Ocean, the demi-god Maui (Dwayne Johnson) attempted to harness the power of life from the goddess Te Fiti. He steals her heart, but instead of having the power over life, Maui is instantly defeated by the lava demon Te Kā and the heart and his magical fishing hook are flung into the ocean, separating Maui from his power and releasing death into the ocean. Or at least that’s the story that Tala (Rena Owen) tells to scare the children of the village, but it has been so many years since then, and surely these are just stories. But it is these stories that drive Moana (Catherine Laga’aia) to see what exists outside the reef that rings her island; however, her father Tui (John Tui), the chief, has banned people from leaving the island and the protection of the reef because of the dangers that lurk in the open ocean. But when death and disease come to her island, Moana will have to make a journey past what she knows and into the great abyss that surrounds every island.  

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Supergirl – Movie Review

TL;DR – Not a bad film, but still a completely forgettable outing, saved by its lead, who is doing all of the heavy lifting.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A chunk of Kypton protects itself.

Supergirl Review Introduction

Today, we begin our next instalment in the very interesting DCU, not a full-reboot, but definitely more than a soft-reboot. An odd feeling all around, without the hard cut of a proper break-up. However, we have gotten some good out of it already with Superman, so let’s see if they can land another goal.

So, to set the scene, it is coming up to Kara Zor-El / Supergirl’s (Milly Alcock) birthday, a sensitive time for her, given she has no place that feels like home. To help her deal with this, she has taken herself off to a system with a red sun so that she can get absolutely wasted. However, on this planet, the brigand Krem of the Yellow Hills (Matthias Schoenaerts) has just made Ruthye Marye Knoll (Eve Ridley) an orphan, and she is after revenge, but also completely in over her head, which drags Kara into a whole world that she is not ready for.

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Minions & Monsters – Movie Review

TL;DR – Whether you like this film or not will depend on whether you think the Minions are charming or the death rattle of the end of Western Civilisation.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are several mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Minions & Monsters Review Introduction

Over the years, I have been a strong proponent of how much I do enjoy the Despicable Me universe, even if Despicable Me 4 did start to show its age. Part of that is the chaotic energy that is infectious, the bright colours, and a heavy helping of quality slapstick comedy. It doesn’t hurt that I don’t have kids, so I only have to watch them once. But can a spin-off of a spin-off have the power to work? This is what we will look at today.

So, to set the scene, we open as a new museum is opening in Hollywood, looking back at some of the greats of cinema history, for example George Lucas (George Lucas). But the tour group was perplexed to see a statue of two Minions sitting in the exhibition. Well, the tour guide (Allison Janney) said, it is time to get an education about the history of Hollywood. The Minions have one goal: to find a big bad to work for, but one of the Minions, James (Pierre Coffin), had more of a creative side. When they end up in Hollywood, James finds his moment working with Max (Christoph Waltz), a noted film director. But to make James’ magnum opus, they needed a monster, and well, the Minions might have the evil spell book to pull that off.

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Toy Story 5 – Movie Review

TL;DR – A perfectly adequate addition to the series with the odd tender moment, and a lot of coincidence, so much coincidence.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid- and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Lillypad.

Toy Story 5 Review Introduction

Look, I am just going to make it clear from the get-go that I walked into this film with the strong belief that it was not only unnecessary but profoundly detrimental to the franchise. Toy Story 3 is one of my Top 10 Animated Films of All Time and is the perfect ending to the series. I sort of worked my way through Toy Story 4, which, when you think of it, is more of an epilogue than a standalone film. I didn’t feel there was enough left in the tank to justify a fifth entry, and I think I was right.

So, to set the scene, Bonnie (Scarlett Spears) has been growing up fast, but still loves playing with her toys every day. But Jessie (Joan Cusack) and the gang have been trying to get her out of her shell so she can make some new friends. What Jessie does not know is that there is a storm brewing, and that storm is tech. Across the neighbourhood, toys are being abandoned as kids turn to tech to entertain themselves. But what was a neighbourhood problem is now in their house as a new Lilypad (Greta Lee) device has arrived, and it does not play fair.

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