Tag Archives: Film

Eddington – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While the cast is giving their all, the production quality is there. Unfortunately,  what we get is a film that is weird but not interesting, a satire that does not have the strength to interrogate the themes it is working in, and a third act that dulled me to the point I desperately wanted it to be over and done with.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes that may cause distress.

Joaquin Phoenix and Pedro Pascal stand off against each other.

Eddington Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that could be best described as controversial. It is a black comedy, satirising the current political situation in the United States, which in itself would be a fascinating exploration. But add in the guiding hand of vanguard Indy director/writer Ari Aster, and you should have something intriguing. Unfortunately, for me, the word ‘should’ is the operative word in the last sentence.   
 
So, to set the scene, in the Colorado town of Eddington, people are struggling with the new lockdown laws as COVID-19 runs through the country. It is only May 2020, so we are fumbling around trying to see what would work. In this space, we have Joe Cross (Joaquin Phoenix), Eddington’s sheriff, who may have only got the job because he married Louise (Emma Stone), the daughter of the last sheriff. He struggles with many ailments and is struggling with the COVID-19 restrictions put in place by local mayor Ted Garcia (Pedro Pascal). After several confrontations, Cross decides to contest the current mayoral elections, which is where everything descends into chaos.

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Weapons – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is one of the most ‘messed’ up films that I have seen, the kind of film where you cross your arms in a vain attempt to put a barrier between you and the screen.  

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

2:17 on a clock.

Weapons Review –

Sometimes you sit down and realise you were fundamentally unprepared for the film you were about to see. That you were prepared for the horror that was coming, well, you thought you were prepared. You crossed your arms, hoping to shield yourself from what was on screen, but nothing could prepare you for Weapons.

So, to set the scene, in a small leafy town in the countryside of America, you can find Maybrook and its elementary school. It is a quaint place where nothing much ever happens, that is, until one day Justine Gandy (Julia Garner) walked into her third-year class to find it empty of every student bar one, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher). One month later, the police are no closer to finding what happened to those seventeen children, and the town is tearing itself apart looking for them. There must be a focus on all that rage, guilt, and sorrow, and unfortunately for Justine, she is that focus. So, as the town focuses their rage on her, the question remains: What happened to the kids at 2:17 in the morning on that fateful day?

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The Naked Gun (2025) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While not every joke lands, and runs too long, it is still one of the funniest films I have seen this year.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Police Squad Headquarters.

The Naked Gun Review –

Some films are called iconic for a good reason, whether that is because of the time, the cast, the writing, directing, or more than likely a combination of all of them. Which is why reboots decades later rarely work, they are trying to recreate something that does not exist anymore. But every now and again, someone finds a way to recreate that magic. Today, we look at a film that just might have pulled that off.

So, to set the scene, we open as criminals start tearing a bank apart looking for money, gems, and a P.L.O.T. Device. The police have the bank surrounded when a little girl breaches the barricade and runs into the bank. The criminals think this is a joke, but in reality, it is Lt. Frank Drebin Jr. (Liam Neeson) in disguise. Drebin’s overzealous tactics land several people in the hospital, thus he and his partner, Capt. Ed Hocken Jr. (Paul Walter Hauser) are reassigned to a car crash in the mountains by Chief Davis (CCH Pounder). But after meeting with Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson), sister of the deceased, Drebin discovers that there may be more going on.

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The Fantastic Four: First Steps – Movie Review

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TL;DR – The best Fantastic Four film by a country mile.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Fantastic Four in a row.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps Review –

Well, it is time for another try at bringing the Fantastic Four to life. This would make it the third reboot of the franchise in my time. To catch you up, I liked the camp fun of Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, but it has been decades since I watched them, so I am not sure how well they have aged. But also, 2016’s Fantastic Four was an amazingly cast failure at almost every level. Which gives us a wide range to be working with even before we take into consideration the current rocky ground the MCU is standing on. But there is always time to find your feet, and I hope that today is that time as we dive headfirst into Phase 6. 


So, to set the scene, we are on Earth, but not as we know it because this is Earth-828, and four years ago, a tragic accident in space created heroes by cosmically changing their DNA. Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic (Pedro Pascal) who can stretch his body, his wife Sue Storm / Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby) who can manipulate light, her brother Johnny Storm / Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) who can turn into flames, and good friend Ben Grimm / The Thing (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) has turned into rock. Their emergence has changed the world, but for their family, the only thing that matters is that Sue is pregnant. It is a moment that brings them all together, which is when a harbinger of doom arrives in the sky. The Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) announces to the world that it has been chosen for destruction at the hands of Galactus (Ralph Ineson). The Fantastic Four want to save Earth, but what happens when the price of salvation is too high?

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Smurfs (2025) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A complete mess of a film that fundamentally does not understand who it wants to be for, and in its attempt to be for everyone, it becomes a movie for no one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – There are sequences with flashing lights.

Smurfette.

Smurfs Review –

Sometimes, as a reviewer, you have to contend with reviewing films that you are clearly not the target demographic for, where you need to pull yourself out of the setting for a bit and experience it like the intended audience. But that all depends on one thing: the film actually working with the people they want it to.

So, to set the scene, a long time ago, four evil wizards captured four magical books and tried to steal all that is good in the world, but luckily, one of the books escaped and the spell was ruined. Some time later, all the Smurfs of Smurf village have come together to sing their daily song. But there is one Smurf out of sync: No Name Smurf (James Corden). Smurfette (Rihanna) tries to help No Name Smurf to find his thing, when even Shark Trainer Smurf was taken. However, as they were getting Smurfberries, No Name Smurf finds his secret talent, magic. But there has never been a Magic Smurf, and we find out why when a magical pulse tips off Razamel (JP Karliak) as to where Smurf Village is, and he captures Papa Smurf (John Goodman) so he can tell him where the last book is. Now the Smurfs have to go on a rescue mission to save Papa Smurf and the whole world.

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Heads of State – Movie Review

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TL;DR – I was honestly surprised about how much I liked this film, John Cena and Idris Elba are a blast, the action scenes are solid, and it makes a couple of solid points with its story.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Prime Video service that viewed this film.

John Cena and Idris Elba hold hands.

Heads of State Review –

There has been an interesting trend in action films recently. Back in the 1990s, it was common for the US President to be an action star, think Air Force One or Independence Day. But it has been a long time since I have seen it outside of some ‘has fallen’ films. But in the last year, we have gotten Rumours, Captain America: Brave New World, and G20, to name but a few. Now we get to see what John Cena and Idris Elba do in this world of a good old-fashioned UK-USA team-up.   

So, to set the scene, we open in Buñol, Spain, as La Tomatina is in full swing, where Noel Bisset (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) is working a case for MI6/CIA to take out Russian arms dealer Viktor Gradov (Paddy Considine). It was going well until her entire team was murdered in the street. Meanwhile, in London, embattled Prime Minister Sam Clarke (Idris Elba) is getting ready to meet US President Will Derringer (John Cena), a former action film star. After a disastrous press conference, the minders agree to diffuse the situation with the two jointly taking Air Force One to the NATO conference in Trieste. But when the plane is attacked, they are pushed out of the aircraft in parachutes; the only problem is that the attack has put them over Belarus, hostile territory.    

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The Old Guard 2 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a film filled with these fascinating moments as they span the globe, only to be followed by what can only be described as a dour slog.  

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Charlize Theron staring into a mirror.

The Old Guard 2 Review –

When I saw that The Old Guard 2 launched tonight, I was immediately interested. That was until I tried to remember anything about the first film and came up blank, which reminded me that The Old Guard came out in 2020, just shy of five years ago. Given it was such a large gap between outings, I wondered if this would have any connection for me or others. So, I sat down, got out some cheese, a nice glass, and found out.   

So, to set the scene, we open in Split, Croatia, where the immortal crew of Andy (Charlize Theron), Nile (KiKi Layne), Nicky (Luca Marinelli), Joe (Marwan Kenzari), and James (Chiwetel Ejiofor) infiltrate the compound of Konrad (Slavko Sobin), a very unpleasant arms smuggler and collector of the tackiest art know to humankind. It might be all fun and games, bar the fact that James is very mortal, and now so is Andy or as she was once known, Andromache of Scythia. They are on the hunt for who is buying up all this artillery, a mysterious woman that Nile has seen in her dreams. The only problem is that no one knows that Quỳnh (Veronica Ngô), a woman from Andy’s past, is back and might be hunting them down, one by one. But being trapped underwater, constantly drowning for 500 years, might have an impact on your mood.

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Jurassic World Rebirth – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Well, it was not without its many, many problems, but this was a grand improvement over its predecessors, if maybe just for the choice of glasses apparently.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A T-Rex stalks people in a boat.

Jurassic World Rebirth Review –

Well, it is time to jump back into the Jurassic World franchise, and I say this with a touch of trepidation. Not only do I love Jurassic Park, but it is one of my top films of all time. However, it has felt like each of the recent sequels has stepped further and further away from what made the series so great to begin with: Dinosaurs, with Jurassic World Dominion being a particularly apt example of this. However, we have Gareth Edwards at the helm and David Koepp back with the screenplay, and well, I can’t help but get excited again, even if it may be all for naught.   

So, to set the scene, in the time since Dominion, climate and disease have forced dinosaurs to retreat to tropical sanctuaries. But a pharmaceutical company, ParkerGenix, fronted by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), have come to Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), and Dr Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) with an offer. They need DNA samples from the three largest remaining prehistoric species, hidden away on Ile Saint-Hubert, an old InGen research facility, 226 miles east of French Guinea. A place where InGen tested many of their experiments before releasing them into Jurassic World. Now they must face off with everything the island will throw at them, that is, if they even make it to land.

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28 Years Later – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A wildly fascinating film, filled with interesting creative choices. I am not sure that makes it a great movie, but it does make it a wildly engaging one.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are snippets during the credits.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Warning – Contains flashing lights.

Blood splattered across a television playing Teletubbies.

28 Years Later Review –

In the last year or so, we have been inundated with sequels to old films with a significant gap since the previous movie. Think Beetlejuice Beetlejuice or Gladiator II. Well, today we are dipping into the Zombie genre with a sequel that is just as long, but probably works from an alliteration perspective [as long as we ignore months, and let’s be honest, who hasn’t done that at one point]

So, to set the scene, we open in the throughs of the first rage virus outbreak as carnage spreads across the Scottish Highlands. 28 Years Later, the rage virus has been stopped in Europe and now the British Iles are quarantined. No one can leave once they touch the ground. Settlements are few and far between, but on an island off the British coast, a community has survived on Holy Island. Where only a tidal causeway connects with the mainland. Spike (Alfie Williams) lives on the island with his mother Isla (Jodie Comer) who is profoundly sick, and Jamie (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) his father. Jamie desperately wants to take Spike out on his first killing trip, more than a few years before the town would like them to. But as they explore a fallen world they come across something they are not ready for, an Alpha (Chris Gregory/ Chi Lewis-Parry).

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F1 (F1: The Movie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – The Daddist Dad Film that ever Dadded

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Looking at an F1 Race from the cockpit of an F1 car.

F1 Review –

In the pantheon of cinema, some films are Dad films. Now, that does not mean only men will enjoy them, only that the movie in question is very Dad-coded. If you have ever sat down to watch a film and thought: ‘My dad would like this’ well reader and a fine, elegant, and clearly one of good taste reader at that, have just watched a ‘Dad film’. Today, we look at a film that might be the most ‘Dad Film’ I have ever seen ‘Dad Film’, and it was excellent to boot.  

So, to set the scene, Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) was an up-and-coming F1 racer in his youth before a brutal crash took ten years of his life. Since then, he has been chasing different racing challenges, almost like he is knocking off a list of the world’s best races. Indeed, we meet Sonny in the middle of The 24 Hours of Daytona, and he crushes it. But as he makes his way across America to the next race, Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem), a former friend from his F1 days and current F1 APXGP team owner, pops in for a visit. For you see, Ruben has a problem: his team has never won a race, their second driver has just quit, and they are sitting on 0 points for the season. If they fail to win a race, shareholders like Peter Banning (Tobias Menzies) could force a sale. All Ruben needs Sonny to do is become the second driver for the rest of the season and help give his experience to their very talented yet very young other driver, Joshua “Noah” Pearce (Damson Idris). Sonny left that world behind thirty years ago, but the allure of one last crack at it can’t help but call him back.

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