Tag Archives: Horror

They Will Kill You – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A taut action film, which has some of the most succinct worldbuilding in the business, in-between all the creative carnage chaotically clamouring betwixt cleaved clavicles.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Asia looks down an empty hallway.

They Will Kill You Review Introduction

Today, we look at a film that is a very odd juxtaposition of extremes. On one hand, this is one of the tightest, stylish action films I have seen in an age. On the other hand, it suffers from a repetitive nature that it can’t seem to escape. A lot of highs, some lows, and enough fake blood for a blue whale to swim through.  


So, to set the scene, Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz) has had a troubled life and is haunted by a choice in her childhood when she ran and left her sister behind. Living in the margins, Asia takes a housekeeping job in the luxurious Virgil apartments. Here, Lilith Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette), the superintendent, shows Asia to her rooms, a place of safety from the storm outside. However, as she sleeps, a masked man enters her room through a secret entrance, armed for violence. For the Virgil is not just an apartment block for the rich; it is a Satanic Temple, and each year they must sacrifice one soul to their god, and tonight it is Asia on the chopping block.

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Cold Storage – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While filled with fascinating concepts, it becomes a film that is less than the sum of its parts.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Masked troops drive away from a town being bombed in fire.

Cold Storage Review Introduction –

If you have been on our site before, you know that we are here for an interesting new Zombie work. While the genre can be overstuffed at times, the good films use the zombies as a reflection on society and have interesting things to say. Today, we are looking at a film that is filled to the brim with interesting concepts, but struggles to make a great film out of it, despite all the building blocks being there.  

So, to set the scene, when Skylab crashed into Western Australia in 1979, NASA thought it had collected all the debris, but it missed one. It housed a fungus they were experimenting on, but what went up was not what came down. Luckily, the canister landed in the barren Australian desert, though unlucky for the small township that needed to be napalmed to contain the spread. A small sample was kept in the top-secret Atchison Storage Facility in Kansas. But time is a fool to us all, and decades later, what was stored on sub-level 4 was forgotten, the facility was sold off to a self-storage company, and life went on. Well, it did right up until an internal warning system that has not been activated since the Cold War started blaring in Washington.  

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OBEX – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A wildly imaginative, if slow burn look at the blurred lines between the real world and a video game.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes which may cause distress.

Have you plugged your computer in today mug.

OBEX Review Introduction –

This year, Iron Lung taught me one very important lesson. That is, some of the most interesting work in the cinematic landscape is coming out of the work of small teams. Working on bringing a very niche thing to life can be rewarding when you take some big risks. Today’s entry OBEX looks to be doing just that as they mix horror and nostalgia together in a retro landscape.

So, to set the scene, it’s 1987, and Conor Marsh (Albert Birney) is an agoraphobic who lives alone, making a living out of creating ascii art, and spending much of his time playing these new-fangled video games on his computer. He would have been a complete recluse had it not been for Sandy (Dorothy), his dog, who is his one joy in life. However, when he opens the new video game OBEX, the line between reality and fiction starts to blur as technology starts going awry and thinking for itself.   

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Lord of Misrule – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While it nails the vibes of a film in this space, it didn’t capture me with its narrative, creating a chasm that I could not parse.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

A town dances around fires.

Lord of Misrule Review Introduction –

I think one of the most possibly terrifying issues a parent could face is a child going missing. I mean, I lost track of my nephew in an IKEA for thirty seconds, and it was terrifying. That pain of not knowing, the loss of all that is dear. It is in that space full of folk-horror tones that we find ourselves today.

So, to set the scene, deep in the countryside, there is the village of Berrow, where church organs still bellow out their ancient chords. The new vicar, Rebecca Holland (Tuppence Middleton), is trying to find her place in a village with an old soul that runs deep. But their world is turned upside down when her daughter Grace (Evie Templeton) is chosen as the ‘Harvest Angel’ and then disappears at the local festival. No one knows where she went, but Rebecca saw her led into the forest by a demon, or someone dressed as one, not that anyone believes her.  

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Iron Lung – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film that is all-vibe, but it leans into that vibe with a gusto you rarely see.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A flashing light.

Iron Lung Review Introduction –

Today, we are diving [pun intended] into some fascinating independent cinema: a film made from an Indy video game, and then independently financed by a YouTube star in their directorial debut. That is such a fascinating combination that I had to take a look.  

So, to set the scene, sometime in the future, a calamity has occurred where every inhabited planetary system disappeared in a catastrophe called the Quiet Rapture. Only those living on artificial structures survived, and there are not many humans left. Humanity is heading fast into extinction when a random moon AT-5 is found covered in an ocean of blood. Using convicts, they explore this ocean for answers. One of those “volunteer” pilots is Simon (Mark ‘Markiplier’ Fischbach), a man with a lot of blood on his hands. He is welded into a submersible called SM-13 and sent to the bottom of the ocean to explore, only to find there might be horrors in an ocean of blood.

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Send Help – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a wild and weird film that makes you feel like you are walking around a Bunnings at night, not knowing when you will step on a rake hidden in the gloom. A cavalcade of catastrophe in all the right ways.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes which may cause distress.

Linda Liddle peering out from behind her desk.

Send Help Review Introduction –

Wow. It’s rare that I walk out of a film genuinely unsure how I feel, but this ending was so wild it forced me to rethink everything. Well, this is what happened today, and what is happening to me as I process my thoughts while writing this review. But you, dear reader, can’t help me out of this predicament, so let’s stop the prelude and dive in.

So, to set the scene, Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) is not precisely a people-person, but she is very good at what she does in the Planning & Strategy Department. But when the company CEO dies and is replaced by his son, Bradley Preston (Dylan O’Brien), her life gets turned upside-down as her promised VP position gets usurped by the new dude-bro atmosphere. As a sympathy move, Bradley invites Linda on the trip to Bangkok, but what neither of them can expect is that the plane would crash into the sea somewhere in the Gulf of Thailand, and what Bradley doesn’t know is that Linda is a Survivor fiend, and this might be her dream situation.   

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Frankenstein (2025) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A fascinating reinterpretation of the classic work that both works as an adaptation for a modern audience, but also holds true to the core of the original work, creating a fascinating juxtaposition to find a muse about the nature of life itself.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that screened this film.

The Monster looms on the horizon.

Frankenstein Review Introduction –

It is time for the final review before we start our best of 2025 list. We started the year with a rich Gothic-Horror romp with Nosferatu; it is only fair that we finish it returning to that same world, and if we are going to dabble in this world, it is only right to return  to where it all began with one of the greatest minds that helped build the foundation of Science Fiction with the eminent Mary Shelley’s work.

So, to set the scene, in Farthermost North, 1857, the snows and ice creep over the sea as a ship becomes beset in its cold embrace on its way to the North Pole. While stuck, they find an injured man near a pile of blood and being hunted by a monstrous visage, one who cannot be stopped by bullets. Sinking The Monster (Jacob Elordi) to the bottom of the ocean, they wake the wounded Baron Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac), who tells the tale of how he came to make the very monster that has come to kill him.    

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Savage Hunt – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It commits one of the most cinematic of crimes: it makes a film about a bear on a slashing spree dull.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

A blood stained torch.

Savage Hunt Review Introduction –

Unfortunately, today, we are looking at a film that flounders at almost every single possibility. Partly because of the budget, I assume, and also because the narrative and the characters are written in such a way that I found every single one of them insufferable before the end credits rolled.   

So, to set the scene, we open on a forest being cut down to build a new resort and spa. But deep in these woods might lurk something that you don’t want to disturb, something that might be stalking you, hunting you, and if you are not careful, killing you. When a man walks into the construction site covered in blood and clearly mauled by an animal, the local rangers get called in, shutting down the site, but not even they were prepared for what is out there.

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Black Phone 2 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While conceptually there are some good ideas and the film does come together in the end, it’s a slog to get through because it tries to tackle too many themes, none of which land successfully.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A pay phone sitting by a lake covered in snow.

Black Phone 2 Review Introduction –

I have recently been away on a three-week holiday and missed when this landed in cinemas; however, while I remembered liking the first Black Phone, I was surprised to see the wildly discordant opinions of people who had watched the sequel. Some of my friends were positioning it as the film of the year, and others were decrying it as a mistake. Well, now that I am back in Oz, I thought it best to give it a look to see where I landed.
 
So, to set the scene, it has been four years since the events of The Black Phone, when The Grabber (Ethan Hawke) kidnapped Finney Blake (Mason Thames). However, with help from his sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) and the ghosts of those who had been killed, Finney managed not only to escape but also to kill The Grabber. Finney has been struggling to find himself in a world where everyone knows of his trauma. However, when Gwen starts dreaming again, connecting in her sleep with their long-dead mother Hope (Anna Lore), the siblings, along with Ernesto (Miguel Mora), make their way up to Alpine Lake Camp, a Christian youth camp, to find out why the connection is being made. But when they get trapped there in a blizzard, they discover that death might not be the end for those who have haunted them in the past.

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Scurry – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A strong premise brings you into this world, but the narrative does not quite have the six legs to get all the way to the end.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A man holds a lighter up for light.

Setting the Scene

This has been an excellent year for Sparke Films, with its flagship Primitive War showing that you absolutely can do a dinosaur film without the word Jurassic in the title. But that was a big, bombastic work, and I was interested to see what they could do on a more concentrated effort, and today we find out.   

So, to set the scene, chaos reigns as something is causing a city to be evacuated and destroyed in equal measure. At the bottom of a sinkhole lies Mark (Jamie Costa), who had the unfortunate luck of standing on the road as it gave out underneath him. Stuck and with no phone connection, things are not looking good for him, nor is that car hanging precariously over the edge, filling anyone with confidence. There better not be a helicopter crashing from the sky that will make this situation worse, and what was that chittering sound in the background?

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