Tag Archives: Christoph Waltz

The Portable Door – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A delightful romp through a world where coincidence can be bought and manipulated.     

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

The portable door.

The Portable Door Review –

Few things get me into the cinema as quickly as ‘made by The Jim Henson Company’. No matter what they are involved in, you know it will be fascinating to watch. But add in some lovely Magical Realism and a cast of zany characters, and you have a must-watch.

So to set the scene, Paul Carpenter (Patrick Gibson) is down on his luck and trying to find a job to pay the bills before he gets kicked out of his flat. All he has to do is get to the café. What could go wrong? Well, everything, apparently. Both shoelaces might break, the trousers might have a stain, and a dog might run off with your scarf. But what if, coincidentally, running after the dog, you find a small door for applicants, and what if you find yourself in the company JW Wells and Co that is expecting you even though you never applied for something? But what if, in that interview, you notice that the cracks in the wall remarkably resemble a map of London? You might find yourself employed by a company that believes that coincidence can be manipulated and controlled.   

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Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A work of art that hits on every emotional level from start to finish.    

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Pinocchio but just a puppet.

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio Review –

Some names instantly intrigue you when you hear they are attached to a project. Which is entirely what happened when I heard that Guillermo del Toro was going to make a Pinocchio film. This alone was enough to interest me. Then you discover that it will be an animated film, not just that, a stop-motion animation film, and the masters of puppets, The Jim Henson Company, will produce it. Well, that is a combination that could not be missed, and I am fundamentally glad I watched it.   

 So to set the scene, master craftsman Geppetto (David Bradley) lost his only child Calro (Gregory Mann), during the Great War when he was only ten years old. A stray bomb destroyed the church that they were working in, and it is a loss that he has never recovered from. Sometime later, Sebastian J. Cricket (Ewan McGregor), a travelling cricket, came to live in the tree planted at Carlo’s grave and watched as a drunk Geppetto laments over his lost son. But as that is happening, some old spirits from the forest who typically ignore humanity hear the pleas of the grieving father and when he cuts down the pine tree that was planted at the grave to turn it into a puppet. So The Wood Sprite (Tilda Swinton) looks over the creation and then brings that puppet Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) to life.   

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No Time to Die – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A solid ending for Daniel Craig’s run as Bond, giving James the most to play with as the world explodes around him.     

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I was invited to a Press Screening of this film

No Time to Die. Image Credit: Universal Pictures.

No Time to Die Review –

Well, it has been a long time, getting from there to here. Eighteen months since it was meant to be released, and Bond is finally making its return. Part of me was concerned that we would never get to see the film out in the real, another part of me was concerned given how Spectre turned out, but here we are. There is always a trepidation going into the film where you know it is an actor’s last. Thankfully, I should not have been concerned because this film almost knocks off Skyfall as my favourite of the Craig era.  

So to set the scene, we open in the middle of the Norwegian winter as a young girl (Coline Defaud) is looking after her sick mother (Mathilde Bourbin). As she is cleaning up a spill, she sees a man in the window wearing a mask. He is here to kill Mr White, but his family is an excellent second choice since he is not there. In the present, Bond (Daniel Craig) and Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) are enjoying their retirement travelling down the Italian coastline arriving at the town of Matera. Swann is concerned that James keeps looking over his shoulder, but that seems fortuitous given that soon bullets start ringing out across the countryside. 

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Movie Review – Alita: Battle Angel

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TL;DR – Filled with excited characters, and interesting action, it is almost a great film, that is until it fails to stick the landing     

Score – 3.5 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Alita: Battle Angel. Image Credit: 20th Century Fox.

Review –

Alita: Battle Angel is one of those films that has been bubbling in and out of the film scene for almost twenty years now. It would get so close to being made and then another setback, and once it was filmed we would get these little titbits every month or so. With all this, I was wondering what we would actually get with the final product because I had not seen the original Manga it is based on so I was coming in blind. Well now that I have had some time to think through it, I can say that it is a film with some truly beautiful moments, some really intense ‘oh damn’ moments, and also is a movie that it falls into the same trap as many films these days and sacrifices the narrative of this film to set up potential sequels in the future.

So to set the scene, in the far future the Earth is covered in large sky cities until one day called ‘The Fall’ everything came crashing down bar one city called Zalem. With the Earth devastated many flock to the one remaining bastion of civilization creating the great Iron City that sprawls out underneath Zalem. No one from the Iron City can enter Zalem, but they all work for the city, in the farms, factories, or as Hunter-Warriors who are bounty hunters in a world where the police no longer exist. In the centre of Iron City is the junkyard, where the people of Zalem throw out all their junk raining it down on the city below. One day Dr Dyson (Christoph Waltz) was scavenging the junkyard for parts for his cybernetic limbs clinic when he comes across a cyborg core with a still functioning brain. He brings her home and repairs her body when she awakes she has no idea what her name was, or what her past was, but she accepts the name Alita (Rosa Salazar) and begins to learn about the dangerous world around her.  

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Movie Review – The Legend of Tarzan

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TL;DR – There are some aspects of this film that just work, but there are others that just don’t, if you do go to see it you will probably enjoy it, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to.

Score – 3 out of 5 stars

The Legend of Tarzan. Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Review –

Hollywood remaking movies from the past are all the rage at the moment, with Disney doing live versions of their classic cartoons, we’ll have a Magnificent 7 film later this year, and the list goes on and on. This week we have the remake of the Classic Tarzan film/book series with The Legend of Tarzan. As far as reboots go, it’s ok, but there are a lot of issues with it, well one big one really, and all of that draws it down quite a bit.

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Movie Review – Spectre

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TL;DR – Not as good as Skyfall in any real respect, but much better than Quantum of Solace

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Spectre. Image credit: MGM/Sony.

Review –

If I had been reviewing Spectre right after Quantum of Solace I think I would have been much more favourable to it, simply because any Bond film has to be better than that mess. However, between now and then we’ve had Skyfall, which ditched all the story baggage they had been building upon for a standalone Bond adventure and it was a much better film. Alas Spectre decides you know what’s good let’s go back to all that lore we were building up ‘cause you know what people loved that. Ok look it is not that bad, there are some really great moments, there is just a lot of faff you have to get through as well.

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