Author Archives: tldrmoviereviews

Ballerina (From the World of John Wick: Ballerina) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a perfectly serviceable film with some highlights, but it feels like it is starting to make the same mistakes that all the John Wick films are currently doing.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to view this film.

Eve walks into a gun room.

Ballerina Review –

When I first watched John Wick back in 2014, I knew that I was watching something special, but I never knew the world we were going to find as things expanded. Well, we have had four films and one middling TV series. However, now it is time to branch out and see the other stories that exist in this vast world. Today’s entry is the first attempt to pull that off, and so it is time to see how well they made it work.  

So, to set the scene, Eve Macarro (Victoria Comte) was living with her father, Javier (David Castañeda), in a mansion by the sea. However, one night, evil comes from the water, and while her father fights valiantly, he is not able to save both of them. Thankfully, Eve has a guardian angel in Winston Scott (Ian McShane), who brought her to her family, the Ruska Roma, controlled by the Director (Anjelica Huston). Here, Eve is given a choice, and after many years of training, Eve (Ana de Armas) is now ready to enter the world and take revenge on those who crossed her.   

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Unit 234 The Lock Up – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It understands that when you cast Don Johnson, you give the man a monologue.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A truck pulls up to the storage lot at night.

Unit 234 The Lock Up Review –

One of the more interesting shades of drama out there is the surprise trapped. You are going about your day, and then all of a sudden, bam, through the machinations of others or nature, now you are fighting for your life. These are films that live and die on the believability of the scenario and how the characters respond to them. It is in that space we dabble tonight.

So, to set the scene, Laurie Saltair (Isabelle Fuhrman) works, well, is more stuck working for her family’s old storage unit facility. It is a job she inherited, but it is not great for her work/life balance. But what she doesn’t know is that her self-storage unit is about to be at the centre of some regrettable circumstances: a mighty storm is about to hit the coast of Florida, she just crushed her mobile phone in a fall, and some idiot stashed the one thing the wealthy and powerful construction tycoon Jules (Don Johnson) needs in one of her units. What could be in there that he wants so much, and why is there a warning alarm going off?

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Darkgame – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there are some conceptually interesting ideas here, the fact that everyone is playing a one-dimensional character greatly limits its potential.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Prisoners around a table.

Darkgame Review –

As the internet becomes all persuasive in our lives, we are becoming more and more accustomed to the negative possibilities that can exist. But whether real or imagined, one genre that has been populated on popular media is what would ancient Colosseum games look like in a modern era where anyone anywhere can watch on? Today’s review leans into that wholeheartedly as we delve into the world of the dark web.    

So, to set the scene, Detective Ben Jacobs (Ed Westwick) is a detective who is famous for finding two lost brothers who have been kidnapped. However, something new has come across his desk: a disturbing video feed from the dark web called Russian Roulette. A masked Presenter (Andrew P Stephen) is making contestants play games against each other. Only the loser meets a grizzly demise. Imagine Sam Reich with a murder kink and making a truckload of money from betting customers. One of those contestants was Fay (Sophie Rankin), who is one of the missing cases Ben was working on, so this is now personal. But when another person is kidnapped, Katia (Natalya Tsvetkova), only time will tell if they catch the perpetrators before more bodies drop.

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Doctor Who: The Reality War [S2E8] & Season 2 – TV Review

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TL;DR – After a better season overall, it felt like it fell apart in the final moments.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service that viewed this series.

London falling into the rift.

Doctor Who Review –

Well, here we are. The end of the season is upon us, and what an interesting season it was. It was full of fascinating highs and frustrating lows. But, unlike other seasons of Doctor Who, this one has been clearly building through the season (and also retroactively throughout Season One). That build has hit its crescendo this week, and the question is: was the song worthy of Dugga Doo, or did we not even make it to the grand finale?

So, to set the scene, The Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) and Miss Belinda Chandra (Varada Sethu) finally make it back to Earth on the day Belinda leaves, only to find that everything is not well. Indeed, they have fallen into a deadly trap of one of The Doctor’s great foes, The Rani (Archie Panjabi) and have lost their memories. But The Rani wanted this because she was powering a machine on all the doubt of a whole planet, and what is more potent than the doubt of a Timelord? The Rani is looking for someone so ancient they have been lost to time and space, Omega (Nicholas Briggs), the first Timelord, and she is willing to destroy the Earth to find him. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode and season as a whole, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead.

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Mapping Sony’s Spider-Man Universe – Map-It

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TL;DR – As requested, we mapped all the locations featured in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe.

Venom. Image Credit: Sony.

Mapping A Failed Experiment –

Whenever I post a map, I always ask for suggestions of pop-culture things that people would like to get mapped. Sometimes, you have interesting suggestions like Indiana Jones that make you think. Other times, it feels like someone wants to make you suffer. Well, today is the latter, as some of my readers have asked me to map Sony’s ill-fated Spider-Man Universe without Spider-Man in it. Now, for clarity, these are all the films that make up the Villain series of films, well villain-lite films, such as Venom, Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Morbius, Madame Web, Venom: The Last Dance & Kraven the Hunter. They don’t include the MCU Spider-Man films Spider-Man: Homecoming, Spider-Man: Far From Home & Spider-Man: No Way Home, which you can find on our MCU Map. Nor do they include the Spider-verse films Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse & The Spider Within because they are their own thing.

So, with this map, I have tried to find every location that I could, but this has led to some issues. There are a lot of places where there are no precise locations. With that in mind, I have made some educated guesses, such as putting Chameleon’s Club in Soho. I have used the actual filming locations as a guide where possible, but there is not a lot of data on that, especially for the later films, and a lot of times, different cities are subbing in for another. For example, the car chase in Venom jumps from San Francisco to Atlanta and back again in between cuts. 

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The Phoenician Scheme – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Weird and wonderful in equal measure.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zsa-zsa looks up at you from a bath.

The Phoenician Scheme Review –

Today, we are going to experience a touch of tonal whiplash when it comes to our film reviews. Because we are going from Fountain of Youth, where I could not tell was directed by Guy Ritchie as all his signature stull was sandblasted out of the film, and in the days since I am still wondering if he actually directed that film. But now we are hard cutting to the opposite side of that spectrum with the most stylistic director working in the field today. A man with a stylistic pallet that is oft copied but never replicated. I was first introduced to Wes Anderson’s work through Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and was delighted by his reinterpretations of Roald Dahl’s short stories like Poison a couple of years ago. This means I came into this with somewhat high expectations, and I think they met them and more.  

So, to set the scene, in 1950, Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is flying above the Balkin mountains when an explosion rips apart his plane, yet miraculously, he survives, for this is not the first assassination attempt on his life. He feels like his life work might get cut off by influential players seeking to ruin him and realises that his legacy is not going to be passed down to his ten other sons. Zsa-zsa calls upon his one and only daughter, Sister Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who is about to take her nun oaths. However, he offers her a deal, well, a trial run, at being his sole heir to his fortune, as long as he can fill in the gap in this funding that the shadowy powers just forced upon him. Oh, and stop all the many, many, many people trying to kill him.

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The Last of Us: Convergence [S2E7] & Season 2 – TV Review

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TL;DR – A slightly odd finale that has me ruminating about the strength of the season.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Max service that viewed this show.

End Credit Scene – There is a behind-the-scenes making-of.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

The Last of Us Review –

Well, we have come to the end of Season Two, and I was not ready, and I don’t mean that from a more existential way, though there is a bit of that in there. But more, the fact that this season only being seven episodes long caught me entirely off guard. Now, our final episode of the season has to do a lot of heavy lifting to stick the landing, and I am concerned going in, that this might be too much of a task to ask of it.  

So, to set the scene, at the end of Feel Her Love, Ellie (Bella Ramsey) becomes separated from Dina (Isabela Merced) and Jesse (Young Mazino) in the park, which leads to her discovering that there are places where the cordyceps have built up enough that it can affect people with their spores, but also where she enacted the first part of her revenge. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode and season as a whole, so there will be [SPOILERS] ahead. 

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Rick and Morty: Summer of All Fears [S8E1] – TV Review

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TL;DR – For the first episode back, I am glad that they leaned somewhat into familiar territory while also amping up the weird

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix subscription that viewed this episode.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a post-credit scene.

Summer looking down on her kingdom.

Rick and Morty Review –

Rick and Morty was at an interesting place at the end of Season Seven. The one central plot line that has been burning in the background since the start of the show came to a grand conclusion in Unmortricken, and then the rest of the season was profoundly more experimental, including Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie, where Rick does not appear at all. Coming into Season Eight, I wondered if the lack of a central narrative will leave it with an unanchored feeling? Or will it let the series be cast-free?   

So, to set the scene, Rick (Ian Cardoni) might have decided to teach Summer (Spencer Grammer) and Morty (Harry Belden) a lesson about stealing his phone charger by locking them in a Matrix-like world, all about not stealing phone chargers. They were stuck in that jail for seventeen years and then brought all of those memories back with them. Beth (Sarah Chalke) thinks it would be great to let them keep the memories, and Rick believes it will all blow up in their faces. I wonder who will be right? We will be looking at the episode as a whole from here, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead. 

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Mapping Fountain of Youth – Map-It

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TL;DR – Today, we map the journey of the crew in Fountain of Youth.

Mapping the Fountain of Youth –

I realised today, as I was watching today’s titular movie, that I had not made a map in a while. Sure, I have a couple that I am still working on that you should see soon, but a fresh map with a fresh source that has been a while. Now, if you have read our review of Fountain of Youth, you will know that we did not have a great time with the film. But that does not mean that there is nothing worth mapping.

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Fountain of Youth – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Dull.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the AppleTV+ service that viewed this film.

The Austrian Library.

Fountain of Youth Review –

There is a genre in the Action-Adventure that leans into hunting lost artefacts, which, of course, makes you think of Indiana Jones and National Treasure or more. I honestly love these films because they capture that childlike wonder when I was discovering the world and learning about history. So, when I heard that Guy Richie was going to take a stab at a film in this world with a fantastic cast, I was fundamentally excited to give it a watch. I probably should have reset my expectations.

So, to set the scene, we open in the streets of Bangkok as Luke Purdue (John Krasinski) needs to outmanoeuvre a local gang to escape with a painting. As he takes an emergency train ride to Chiang Mai and tries to get some rest, he is woken up by a business opportunity. Esme (Eiza González) gives Luke the ‘opportunity’ to go easily or difficultly. A fight/flirt on the train proceeds. Luke escapes and now has a mission in his life. He is going to need a team to pull it off: Murf (Laz Alonso), Deb (Carmen Ejogo), Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), and his sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), which he may or may not have just gotten into a lot of trouble with her boss, ex-husband, oh and also INTERPOL.    

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