Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Damsel – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While a bit messy in places, strong casting and a solid central premise combine to make a fascinating film at times.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Shadows encroach over the kingdom.

Damsel Review –

I have always loved a good schlocky fantasy film. One that knows its premise and its voice and excels from there. It is in this space that we get gems like The Mummy and Dungeons and Dragons. Today, we are looking at a film that is trying to capture that kind of energy and see if they can pull it off.   

So to set the scene, we open in as a platoon of knights crawl into a dragon’s (Shohreh Aghdashloo) lair, hoping to slay the beast before ending in a conflagration of flames. Centuries later, in a faraway land on the verge of ruin lives Elodie (Millie Bobby Brown), a princess. It is at this dark moment when an envoy from the Kingdom of Aurea arrives looking for Elodie’s hand in marriage for their prince. This marriage would give Elodie’s kingdom enough resources to make it to the thaw. As the family arrives at Aurea, its wealth greets them, and also a sense that not everything is as it seems, for the mountains behind the kingdom cast long shadows.

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Dune: Part Two – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Even with such a weight of expectation that I had for it, Dune: Part 2 still stuck the landing with a gusto I was not expecting.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a screening of this film.

Paul stands in front of an explosion.

Dune: Part Two Review –

I need to be clear when coming into this that this might have been the most excited I have been to see a film since maybe The Lord of the Rings. I adore this universe (okay, only the first three books, don’t @ me), and to see the First Film not only get the universe they were adapting but also have the budget to show it off. Well, there is a reason it was my favourite film of 2021. However, that is a lot of expectation, and in my experience, that can be a recipe for disaster.

So to set the scene, the plan of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård) has succeeded. With the help of  Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV (Christopher Walken), Arrakis/Dune is his, the Atreides are dead, the millennia-long feud is over, and Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen (Austin Butler) is getting ready to take over from his incompetent brother Glossu Rabban Harkonnen (Dave Bautista). There is only one problem: not all the Atreides are dead, for Paul (Timothée Chalamet) and Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson) made it through the desert to the Fremen people and are now in the hands of Stilgar (Javier Bardem) and Chani (Zendaya). It was safety brought with a blood price, which is increasing as the Harkonnen troops send patrols deeper into the desert. For Paul, his new place with the Fremen could be a way to find revenge for the destruction of his family, but is he ready for leadership to be thrust upon him? For once the Fremen are unleashed, can they be stopped?

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Madame Web – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a film that shows that you can have a great cast and an exciting scenario, but that will still not lead to a coherent narrative that has an impact.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Everyone sees the Spider-Person attacking them for the first time.

Madame Web Review –

Some of the best work that is happening in the superhero genre is coming out of Sony’s Spider-Man adjacent Marvel Universe. Unfortunately, that strength is found almost entirely in its animated division, and maybe Venom, if I have had a drink or two. Unfortunately, last year’s Morbius showed us that it is also the source of some of the worst films happening in this space. While we don’t reach those depths this week, we do get a movie that was screaming with potential but ended up being wholly lacklustre.

So to set the scene, in 1973, deep in the forests of Peru, a heavily pregnant Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé) and her security partner Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) are looking for a spider whose venom is meant to have potent healing properties. Constance finds the spider but is betrayed by Webb and left for dead. A local tribe rescues her, but they can only save the life of her newborn. In the present of 2003, Cassandra ‘Cassie’ Webb (Dakota Johnson) is now a paramedic, but when a near-death experience rocks her world, there might be more than just some trauma unlocked.

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Drive-Away Dolls – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a wild but somewhat inconsistent ride that will bring the laughs but probably does not have the lasting effect they were going for.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Love is a sleigh ride to HELL.

Drive-Away Dolls Review –

The early 200s was a wild time for the raunchy road trip film, with gems like Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle and EuroTrip. For a while, they had fallen out of fashion, maybe because the old focus of those films no longer ran true for modern audiences. However, in the last few years, we have started to see a resurgence in this genre, and it is just such a film that we are looking at today.  

So to set the scene, we opened in Philadelphia in 1999 on the cusp of the new Millennium or, as it was known at the time, the Willennium. Here, there are two good friends, Jamie (Margaret Qualley) and Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan), who could not be more different. But when Jamie breaks up with her girlfriend Sukie (Beanie Feldstein), well more, she gets dumped after multiple cheating incidents. Jamie decides to tag along on Marian’s trip to Tallahassee, Florida, to help Marian get some. The only problem is that Jamie persuades Marian to use a service to cut down on the cost by driving a car down there for free (a drive-away). The only problem is that something else might be taking the trip with them, a something that many people want.

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Kill Me If You Dare (Zabij Mnie, Kochanie) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is an incredibly silly film, but if that is the vibe you are after, then it nails it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

A knife falls to the floor.

Kill Me If You Dare Review –

I think there is one thing that is almost universal across most cultures: what would you do if you won the lottery, or as we call it here, the lotto? Just asking that question probably provoked a number of thoughts as to what you would do with such a large amount of money. But what would you do if you were married and things were not as good as they could be?

So to set the scene, we open in this grand romantic gesture as Piotr (Mateusz Banasiuk) races to catch Natalia (Weronika Ksiązkiewicz) before she leaves on the train. But while he misses the train, he does not miss the love of his life, and he instantly proposes. Five years later, the love is not as strong as it once was, but maybe a shock lotto win might change that. Well, perhaps not if each other thinks the other wants to murder them and take the money for themselves.

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Force of Nature: The Dry 2 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – There is a solid film in here; you just need to find it through all the messiness.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

The Victorian bush.

Force of Nature: The Dry 2 Review –

Back in 2020, there was a great moment when, thanks to the current circumstances, The Dry, Penguin Bloom, and High Ground were the top films in Australia, the first time in an age that three Australian films had managed that. Of those, there was one that was primed for a sequel, and that is what we are looking at today.

So to set the scene, it is a wet and cold morning as four women crash through the bush of the Giralang Ranges to the sound of a coming car. Jill Bailey (Deborra-Lee Furness), Beth (Sisi Stringer), Bree (Lucy Ansell) & Lauren (Robin McLeavy) are cold, wet, and hurt, but all the more importantly, they are missing one of their group, Alice (Anna Torv). It is a dense forest, and searching it will be difficult, but as we discover, Alice is an informant, and her last phone call to Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) was profoundly concerning, making people wonder just what happened up on that mountain.    

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Ashes (Kül) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film that does a fantastic job of setting up a world and mystery that unfortunately can’t sustain itself all the way to the end.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Warning – Some scenes may cause distress.

The manuscript Kül.

Ashes Review –

Today, we dive back into the world of romance but with a side of danger as we explore Turkish cinema for the first time properly on the site. Romance films can be fascinating because they can meld and merge into so many different genres and take on a broad scope of tone. In today’s film, we dive into the harder edge of the genre, where danger awaits.

So to set the scene, from all appearances, Gökçe (Funda Eryigit) is living her best life. She is a successful publisher with a talent for picking good manuscripts, something that has made her husband Kenan (Mehmet Günsür) fabulously wealthy. But her life feels like it is missing something, missing a lot of things. But when a manuscript called Kül arrives, she is immediately transported into its prose. Being captured by its narrative, it awakens a joy that she had not realised was missing. But when she discovers the bakery in the book is real, and more of the book is real, she hunts down the mysterious man.

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Argylle – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film that makes one of the worst mistakes it can: constantly remind you of better films you could be watching.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Agent Argylle is captured.

Argylle Review –

Today is a bit of an awkward review because I am exploring a work from people both in front of and behind the camera who I have deeply loved before. However, today, I am looking at a film that fails at almost every single step. It failed so badly that I had moved from frustration to disappointment, to wholly checked out by the time I rolled my eyes at the mid-credit scene. With that in mind, we will explore just what went wrong because, like many things, it was not just one road bump that led to this.

So to set the scene, we open with Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) infiltrating the lair of Lagrange (Dua Lipa) and initiating a pretty intense dance-off. However, Lagrange knew he was coming and what he looked like because someone in his organisation was a mole. In fact, it could be one of his teammates, Keira (Ariana DeBose) or Wyatt (John Cena). However, just as the big reveal happens, we discover that this story is not real. It is a novel written by noted author Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard), whose Argylle series of spy novels are best sellers. However, as Elly takes a train ride with her cat Alfie (Chip) to her mother Ruth (Catherine O’Hara), she is interrupted by the unkempt Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell), who might be leading her into a world she wrote about in fiction, that just might be real.

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Badland Hunters (Hwang-ya/황야) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While some moments hit hard, it felt like we had a world that was only ankle-deep deep, and you really wished you could dive in.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

The destruction of Seoul.

Badland Hunters Review –

The thing that makes the post-apocalypse setting such an excellent world to explore is that you can explore human stories without the frameworks that hold everything in place. But if you are going to dive into that world, you need to bring something to the table.

So to set the scene, a scientist, Yang Gi-su (Lee Hee-joon), was involved in many unethical experiments in an attempt to bring back his daughter. However, just as the authorities reach him, Seoul is struck with an earthquake so severe that it destroys most buildings and leaves much of the Korean Peninsular a barren wasteland. If you are lucky, you will find a place to barter on what food and water is left. If you are unlucky, you will see yourself set upon by cannibals. Nam-san (Ma Dong-seok) and Choi Ji-wan (Lee Jun-young) work as hunters bringing food to the local settlement, but when people kidnap Han Su-na (Roh Jeong-eui) with a bad habit of not dying, well, that is not on.   

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The Beekeeper – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a solid action film and one of Jason Statham’s best roles in a while.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to see this film.

Warning – contains scenes that may cause distress.

Adam Clay sits in a felid with his bee hives.

The Beekeeper Review –

Do you have a world that exists just outside of the one we live in, moving through the cracks of society? Well, can I just say that you have written something that I am very excited about? Today, we look at a film that explores what happens when you upset the wrong person, someone you never should have gone within 100 miles of.

So to set the scene, Adam Clay (Jason Statham) is a quiet person who keeps to himself, tending his beehives with space that he rents off Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad), a retired school teacher who owns an old farmstead all by herself. One day, Eloise was doing her bills when spyware was detected on her computer, but the people she called didn’t help. In fact, they were scammers that took everything from her. Clay arrives for dinner to find her body, just as her daughter, FBI Agent Verona Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), gets to the farm to find out what happened to her mother’s bank accounts. Clay is at a loss as to who would hurt someone as caring as Eloise, but unlike many, he has resources, a lot of resources. The kind that can find things the FBI cannot and does not care if someone goes on a rampage.

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