The 355 – Movie Review

TL;DR – While this is a good concept, unfortunately, production and narrative issues feel like an anchor dragging the film back at every moment.    

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

The cast walk into an auction in fancy dress.

The 355 Review

One of the more frustrating things to see is when you have a narrative with an exciting hook that just plods along with a generic presentation. Today we are unfortunately looking at a film that does just that, and given what they were trying, it feels like a real missed opportunity.

So to set the scene, 150 Miles south of Bogota, Colombia, there appears to be a drug deal going on, but it is much worse. They are there to make a trade for a back door key into any of the world’s secure communications. At this point, a gunfight explodes out between the two cartels and the Colombian military and the key is lost in the melee until it is picked up by the last man standing (Édgar Ramírez). The last man standing is an operative for the CIA and immediately goes into hiding in Paris. It is up to CIA agents Mason “Mace” Browne (Jessica Chastain) and Nick Fowler (Sebastian Stan) to secure it, which is where things start going wrong.

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The Northman – Movie Review

TL;DR – The Northman is unrelenting, uncomfortable, unyielding, and uncompromising

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film

Bjork as a witch in a wheat headdress

The Northman Review

When I heard that Robert Eggers was making a new film, I was interested because his last work, The Lighthouse, well, it was ‘a lot’, but it was also fascinating from start to finish. Then I heard it would be a Norse epic tale of revenge and carnage. Well, I was intrigued. But when I heard that early reviews were calling it ‘impenetrably Norse’, I had to check it out because that is my jam.

So to set the scene, in 985AD, on the Atlantic coast, young Prince Amleth (Oscar Novak) looks out into the sea and sees that his father, King Aurvandill War-Raven (Ethan Hawke), has returned from his raids. With his Mother, Queen Gudrún (Nicole Kidman), he greets his father and discovers that he was wounded in the last battle. After Aurvandill’s brother Fjölnir (Claes Bang) arrives, Gudrún counsels her husband that Amleth needs to start the process of becoming a man. Aurvandill takes Amleth to the Heimir (Willem Dafoe), the fool and seer, to have a vision. But as they leave the temple, Aurvandill is ambushed and murdered, and as Amleth runs, he sees that the murderer is his uncle Fjölnir. Many years later, in the Lands of the Rus, Amleth (Alexander Skarsgård) is a berserker taking out villages when he is reminded of his duty to avenge his father’s murder.

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Everything Everywhere All at Once – Movie Review

TL;DR – You may have been told how wild this film is, but trust me, whoever was talking to you was completely underselling it.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Everything Everywhere All at Once. Image Credit: A24.

Everything Everywhere All at Once Review

The word surreal gets thrown around quite a bit and usually means something that might be a bit cerebral or weird or maybe both. But for something to be genuinely surreal, it needs to challenge the nature of reality, to contest the very bedrock we live our lives on. Films will often dip their toes into the surreal, but every now and again, a film will dive in headfirst. Today, we are looking at just such a film that just might nail everything it sets out to do.

So to set the scene, in a city in America, Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh) lives above the laundromat that she runs with her husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan). Things are pretty stressful for Evelyn at the moment. The IRS is auditing the business. She is trying to put together a party for he estranged father, Gong Gong (James Hong), she is feuding with her daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu), and Waymond is about to drop divorce papers on her. As they arrive at the IRS to be audited by Deirdre Beaubeirdra (Jamie Lee Curtis), Waymond suddenly changes into a completely different person. He declares that Evelyn is in trouble because a force from another universe is hunting her down, and it just might have found its prey, and that is when the alarms go off.

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Ambulance – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is non-stop action from the word go, which can get exhausting at times, but it is a riot to watch when Michael Bay is on his game.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film

Ambulance. Image Credit: Universal Pictures.

Ambulance Review –

For a long time, Michael Bay has been derided for his films, and I think that is both fair and a little bit unfair. Because Michael Bay has a particular style of filmmaking that does not work with every script, however, when a story and cast line up with his filmmaking strengths, well, you can get something special. Today we are looking at a film that does just that as we romp across LA County, one explosion after another.

So to set the scene, Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is a war veteran. Still, he is getting shafted by the Department of Veteran Affairs because they won’t pay for his wife Amy’s (Moses Ingram) experimental surgery, and there is no way Will can come up with the $231,000 himself. Well, there is one way, but it means getting in contact with his estranged brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal), who followed their father’s footsteps into the world of illicit money. This is good news for Danny because he needs an extra man in his crew to take down one of the biggest bank hauls, and Will has five minutes to pick if he is in or not. The robbery was going well, right up until Officer Zach (Jackson White) comes up to the bank to ask out one of the tellers on a date, and things fall apart from there, including Zach getting shot. Well, the police are surrounding the bank, and there is no way out, or maybe because EMT Cam Thompson (Eiza González) has arrived on the scene to save Zach’s life and that big ambulance looks like the perfect opportunity to slip past a police cordon.  

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RRR – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is a film that is a slow burn right up to the point that it goes from 0 to 1000km in a second and does not stop for its entire runtime.    

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

RRR. Image Credit: DVV Entertainment.

RRR Review

In 2020, I started dipping my toes into the mammoth that is Indian Cinema. However, as the pandemic erupted, that was one area that slipped away. Now that things are sort of coming back to normal, it is time to begin this chapter again, and what a film to start on.

So to set the scene, in Adilabad forest, the Governor of India Scott Buxton (Ray Stevenson) has been out hunting. In contrast, his wife Catherine Buxton (Alison Doody) has the whole village on a show for her entertainment. As the village looks on, the young Malli (Twinkle Sharma) sings while painting on her hand. The governor throws Malli’s mother (Ahmareen Anjum) some coins that she things were for the song, but they were to buy her daughter. The tribe is distraught at the crime and calls on their protector Komaram Bheem (N. T. Rama Rao Jr.), to travel to Delhi and rip it apart to get the girl back. Hearing that Bheem is on the way and not knowing who they are, the colonial police force gets Alluri Sitarama Raju (Ram Charan) to hunt him down before he can succeed.    

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Morbius – Movie Review

TL;DR – A soulless husk of a film that is barely made watchable by the fact that at least Matt Smith is having fun  

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are two mid-credit scenes

Disclosure – I was invited to a screening of this film

Morbius. Image Credit: Sony Pictures.

Morbius Review

There are moments when the credits roll, and you sit back in your chair and wonder, what did I just waste my time with? Then, of course, you immediately go, well, maybe I am having a bad day, perhaps the film is targeting a different audience, or did I just miss something. But then you look around and feel the audience’s tone and discover that you are not alone with your disbelief. Well, today, we have a film that, when the credits rolled, a whole room of people collectively shrugged at the very meh-ness that they just watched.

So to set the scene, 25-years ago in Greece, two boys who needed three blood transfusions a day to live met in a clinic. The head of the clinic, Emil Nikols (Jared Harris), discovers that young Michael (Charlie Shotwell) is a prodigy and gets him into a private school, and he promises his friend Milo (Joseph Esson) that he will find a cure. In the now, Michael (Jared Leto) takes a helicopter ride to a cave in Costa Rica to capture some bats that only feed on blood. He is hopeful that inserting bat DNA into a human might cure him and Milo (Matt Smith). It works … but at what cost? Well, a boat full of mercs, at least.

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The Batman – Movie Review

TL;DR – After a long time, they nailed what it is to do a Batman film.   

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene, there is a thing at the end, but you can Google it rather than stay back for it.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film

Warning – some scenes in this film use flashing lights.

The Batman. Image Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures.

The Batman Review

 I don’t think it will be news to anyone that the DC Extended Universe has been a bit hit and miss. The race to get to the Justice League film meant that there was no time to establish your characters, and one of the significant casualties of that was Batman. While it was clear that Ben Affleck was throwing his all into it, the character never found its feet. This all led to a mix of emotions when it was announced that there would be a stand-alone Batman film, but DC adjacent and starring Robert Pattinson. Thankfully, I should not have worried.

So to set the scene, it is Halloween in Gotham City, a city that is barely holding it together after years of corruption and nepotism. However, that night Mayor Don Mitchell Jr. (Rupert Penry-Jones) looks at his dwindling polling numbers. A figure appears in the background and strikes. The Riddler (Paul Dano) has made his first kill. However, while the city might be on the precipice, there is at least one farce trying to stop the crime, the masked crusader, the dark night, vengeance himself, the Batman (Robert Pattinson).  

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The King’s Man – Movie Review

TL;DR – A war film that does not know what it wants to say about war   

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ subscription that viewed this film.

The King’s Man. Image Credit: 20th Century Studios.

The King’s Man Review

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the first entry into this universe with Kingsman: The Secret Service. I even liked the follow-up Kingsman: The Golden Circle, though I may be alone on that front. So when I heard that there was going to be a prequel, I was interested but also concerned because revisionist histories can land like a thud. And after watching it all, I’m still not sure.

So to set the scene, we open in South Africa, 1902 with Orlando Oxford (Ralph Fiennes) and his wife Emily Oxford (Alexandra Maria Lara) arriving at British Concentration Camp during the Boer War. They were inspecting the facilities for the Red Cross and meeting Lord Herbert Kitchener (Charles Dance) when a sniper kills Emily in the crossfire. 12-years later, the world is careening towards war because a mysterious force is pulling strings behind the scenes, pushing King George of Britain (Tom Hollander), Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany (Tom Hollander) and Tsar Nicholas of Russia (Tom Hollander) into conflict.

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Uncharted – Movie Review

TL;DR – Well, Tom Holland’s charisma can only go so far in fixing this dull mess   

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Uncharted. Image Credit: Sony.

Uncharted Review

Some memories stick with you as you grow up. For me, one of those memories is the family sitting around the tv watching my brother play Uncharted as we enjoyed the unfolding story and looked out for any hidden items. Given how successful and loved this video game franchise is, I am not alone with having attachments to this game, but I was also a little wary of disappointment walking into this film. The casting was a choice, and nothing around the marketing had imbued any confidence with the film, and I can now see why.

So to set the scene, we open with Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) getting kicked out of a cargo plane and then run over by a car. But fifteen years earlier, a young Nate (Tiernan Jones) and his brother Sam (Rudy Pankow) break into a museum to steal a map but are caught by guards. Sent back to the orphanage, Sam will be sent to jail, but he escapes leaving Nate behind. Currently, Nate is a bartender who pickpockets his clients when a strange man called Sully (Mark Wahlberg) walks into the bar and offers him a link to the past.  

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Reacher: Season 1 – TV Review

TL;DR – What we get here is a solid action series that hits all the beats it needs to do, not revolutionary, but still solid.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime subscription that viewed this series.

Reacher. Image Credit: Amazon Studios.

Reacher Review

When I first heard there would be a new Reacher series, my first impressions were ‘meh’. I had watched the films starring Tom Cruise, and while Jack Reacher: Never Go Back was okay, it was never more than okay. But then that trailer dropped, and I went from ‘meh’ to ‘hmmm’, and now that I have seen it, I have gone from ‘hmmm’ to ‘nice’.

So to set the scene, one fine morning Jack Reacher (Alan Ritchson) or just Reacher got off the bus from Tampa at the small town of Margrave, Georgia. As he walks into town, his first stop is the local diner for coffee and a slice of peach pie. The only problem is before he can even touch his pie, multiple police cars pull up and take him into custardy. For you see, there was a murder in the town, and someone matching his description was seen at the crime scene. The only problem is that Reacher did not do it, and the person who did confess to the crime also clearly didn’t do it. So the question is ‘what is going on in Margrave, Georgia’? Now from here, we will be looking at the season as a whole, so there will be [SPOILERS] ahead.  

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