Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: We Board the Princess Andromeda [S2E3] – TV Review

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TL;DR – It is time for a quest proper, or maybe two, and I am glad we have taken up the chalice and run with it.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service that viewed this series.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

An Ironclad.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Review –

There are many things that you can expect when you sit down to watch or read Percy Jackson. But the one thing you can always count on is a quest. Well, we are officially on said quest, and all the monsters and gods that come with it.  

So, to set the scene, while there were several manipulations to try and stop Percy (Walker Scobell) from going on a quest, nothing stops Percy from going on a quest, which is how he, Annabeth (Leah Sava Jeffries), and Tyson (Daniel Diemer) find themselves on an inflatable boat heading towards the cruise ship Princess Andromeda. A totally normal whip …. Totally normal. Meanwhile, at the source of the official quest, Clarisse (Dior Goodjohn) finds herself face-to-face with The Oracle (Heather Feeney). This can be both a source of great wonder or danger; just maybe don’t chop off her head. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode as a whole, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead.

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The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An interesting concept for a SpongeBob Movie, that unfortunately, does not have the legs, or fins, or tentacle suckers to stretch to a feature-length movie.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

The Flying Dutchman on an eyrie sea.

The SpongeBob Movie Review Introduction –

Today, I think I need to preface everything that I am about to say with one clear addendum: I am not the target audience for this film. I feel I need to make that clear from the front because not every film will be written for you, and you should have the wherewithal to understand that before dumping on something. But then I did also sit through it all, so, as we are here …


So, to set the scene, after measuring himself every day, SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny) is finally a “Big Guy”. Someone tall enough to go on the adult rides at the local amusement park. But when SpongeBob is not able to find the courage to hop on the rides with his dear friend Patrick Star (Bill Fagerbakke), he is crushed. But that is when Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) tells him about his time as a swashbuckler with the crew of The Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill). SpongeBob becomes enamoured with the idea of being a swashbuckler as the way to become a genuine big guy; however, Mr. Krabs might not have been telling the whole truth.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chrome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Not only is this a delightful return to these characters, but it is also one of the best and pointed explorations of the hollowness of AI in a way that I think their target audience will completely get.   

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this short film.

The Tubular Tortoise Karate Warriors.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Chrome Alone 2 – Lost in New Jersey Review Introduction –

Back in 2023, I witnessed a rare event: we got a new outing in a long-running franchise that felt both entirely respectful in the way it approached the franchise, but was also not afraid to change things up for a new generation completely. It took strength, it took artistry, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem was also a bunch of fun in the process. Well, I am glad to see that we get to have a new story in this world as we return to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

So, to set the scene, it has been some time since Mutant Mayhem, and Michelangelo (Shamon Brown Jr.), Leonardo (Nicolas Cantu), Raphael (Brady Noon) and Donatello (Micah Abbey) are out shopping for Christmas presents for Splinter. This is the first time they have been able to do this out in the open, so it is a bit of a thrill. However, their joy is turned to horror when they witness an advertisement for a toy line that is clearly them, if the person making them only heard about the turtles third hand and went with it. Well, this will not stand! And the Turtles must do something about it! Only problem is that this will mean taking a trip to … … … New Jersey … … …!

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The History of Sound – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is both profoundly moving and also downright frustrating. The visual construction was some of the best all year, yet it pondered along, afraid to commit to what its thesis statement was.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

A river flowing in a forest.

The History of Sound Review Introduction –

Today, we are looking at a film that existed in a state of dissonance for me, from the heights of beauty that you see throughout, to the despair of frustration. Some of this dissonance is purposely built into the film, an intentional conversation in subtext. However, while that is important, you can’t forget the actual text.
 
So, to set the scene, Lionel Worthing (Paul Mescal) has always had a special relationship with music since he was a child, able to feel it, see it, and manipulate it. It was this gift that took him in 1917 from the rural farm in Kentucky where he grew up to the Boston Conservatory to study music. It is here that he came across fellow student and composer, David White (Josh O’Connor). They had an instant bond, but war broke out, and David was drafted. David returned in 1919 and asked Lionel to join him on a trip collecting and recording folk songs, a trip that would have a marked impact on both their lives.

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Vampire Zombies…from Space! – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A delightful parody of 1950s pulp fiction that is unfortunately a bit too long in the tooth.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Vampire Zombies…from Space!

Vampire Zombies From Space Review Introduction –

There are many ways a film can entice you to watch it. In the past, it was through who they cast as their leads, but that seems to be decreasingly crucial as the 21st century progresses. It could be the genre or the premise, or a multitude of things. Or maybe, the title of the film is so absolutely bonkers that you feel almost required to see just what they will do. Today, we are looking at Vampire Zombies From Space, and I think you know what category I would put that under.

So, to set the scene, one night a long time ago in the time of black and white, a dog ran into a tobacco field, and the family followed only to be confirmed by the impossible: a vampire and their flying saucer. While the mother was murdered in a wave of blood, a crucifix saved the rest of the family from certain doom. Ten years later, in a slightly more up-to-date-yet-still-black-and-white time, the family is a pariah in town. Little did they know that they would be the ground zero for something even more terrifying … zombies, sent by Dracula (Craig Gloster) to take over the world.

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Icefall – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A film with an interesting premise that is unable to capture its potential because of some choices, like a very dour tone.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Money falls into the icy water.

Icefall Review Introduction –

There are a lot of variations on the heist film, and one of my favourites is what happens when everything goes wrong. When you have gotten the money, but then it goes missing, you must hunt it down. Today, we are looking at a film that is paying in that space, with the added difficulty of never knowing if your next step will plunge you into the icy depths.

So, to set the scene, we open with a pawn shop getting robbed, but not for its valuables, but for the secrets it holds in the basement. Hidden safes, in clandestine basements, secured behind a front. Nothing legal is happening here, but when you mess with the Albanian Mob, you don’t have to be worried about just the police coming after you. But you may have the best plans in the world, and none of that will hold up to a rogue lightning strike crashing your plane. Five months later, and the snow has started to thaw, the rivers have started to flow, and a pesky GPS tag might have just sent everyone who knows into the forest to look for money that can change lives.   

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Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A visual delight, filled with actors giving stellar performances, fantastic chemistry, a riot of emotions, an intriguing mystery, and an honest exploration of motivations as old as time itself.  

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains a scene with flashing lights.

A woman bursts through the doors to a church.

Wake Up Dead Man Review Introduction –

While people say that you should be impartial when writing a review, I find that, to use the words of Benoit Blanc, to be hooey. Art is subjective, and everyone will bring their own interpretations to art. Or to put it more bluntly, we all bring our own baggage along for the ride. But more than that, sometimes a film speaks to you on a fundamental personal level due to things happening in your life right at the moment you see it. Well, for me, we will be looking at just such a film today.  

So, to set the scene, we open with Rev. Jud Duplenticy (Josh O’Connor) writing a letter to the famous private detective/investigator Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) about the Good Friday Murder. Jud was a boxer before he found Christ, and sometimes comes out swinging still. This led Bishop Langstrom (Jeffrey Wright) to send the young Catholic priest upstate to the town of Chimmy Rock and to the church of Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude run by Monsignor Jefferson Wicks (Josh Brolin). Msgr. Wicks rules his congregation with an iron fist, the kind of ministry that creates zealots out of parishioners like Martha Delacroix (Glenn Close), Dr Sharp (Jeremy Renner), Vera Draven (Kerry Washington), Lee Ross (Andrew Scott), Simone Vivane (Cailee Spaeny), Cy Draven (Daryl McCormack) & Samson Holt (Thomas Haden Church). But even in a group as tight as this, there is murder afoot, and maybe Benoit Blanc is the only one who can see through all the hooey.

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Zootopia 2 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Zootopia 2 captures what made the first film such a joy. Full of energy, full of chaos, and full of delight. But it is also asking the important questions.  

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Zootopia.

Zootopia 2 Review Introduction –

There were several thought processes that happened when I started writing this review. The first was discovering that the original Zootopia came out nine years ago, and also that is how long I have been writing reviews for this site. It was an odd moment of reflection, but also a profound look at one of the issues of modern Hollywood, in that it takes forever in between iterations. Well, let’s dive in and see if one of the most stacked cast lists this year can make up for all the time.

So, to set the scene, things have been going well in Zootopia (or Zootropolis, depending on where you live) since the incident that brought partners Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) when now former deputy mayor Dawn Bellwether (Jenny Slate) tried to start a war between the herbivore and carnivore members of the mammal city. After a mission goes wrong, Hopps and Wilde are sent to therapy with Dr Fuzzby (Quinta Brunson), which is make-or-break to see if they can continue being partners in the ZPD. But while the mission might have been a bust, some clues, like some scales, show that there may be more than just mammals in the city of Zootopia and with the Zootenial Gala coming up, is someone about to strike at the heart of the city?

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Wicked: For Good (Wicked: Part Two) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While Cynthia Erivo & Ariana Grande still shine, the choice to split the film into two parts has had a detrimental effect on the pacing, narrative, and structure of the film.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A propaganda poster of the Wicked Witch.

Wicked: For Good Review Introduction –

If I look back on the last twelve months, there may have been one film, outside of Chicken Jocky, that captured the imagination of people in the cinemas. It felt like everyone was holding space for Wicked, as it dominated the box office and broader pop culture. Thanks mainly to it being anchored by two of the best lead actors in the business for a musical film like this: Cynthia Erivo & Ariana Grande. But here’s the thing, and it’s a big one. The choice to end the first film at the traditional intermission moment meant that everything that the general public understood of Wicked was all in that first film, and thus, I was worried about how Part Two would go. I think I was right to be concerned.  

So, to set the scene, at the end of Wicked, Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo) discovered that the Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Jeff Goldblum) is nothing but a fraud. Oz and his accomplice Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh) needed Elphaba’s natural magical abilities, but not if she was a threat. So Elphaba escaped their clutches, but has now been branded the “Wicked Witch of the East” in a propaganda campaign that stretches across the lands. Everyone now has to live with the consequences of their actions. Glinda (Ariana Grande) always wanted to be in the spotlight, but is she willing to do what it takes to stay there when it means betraying her friends? And will Fiyero (Jonathan Bailey) discover his strength before it is too late?   

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A House of Dynamite – Movie Review

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TL;DR – As divisive as it is fascinating, anchored on understandable tension, and character performances that rocked me at times.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

Sun rising behind the Washington Monument.

A House of Dynamite Review Introduction –

We are getting to the pointy end of the year, and that means it is time to start catching up with a bunch of the films that I missed this year. This is made more apparent because I just spent a month away in Japan, and there are a bunch of films that I missed while I was away. The first cab off that rack is a political thriller that explores the calamity of nuclear weapons, which means that this is already 100% my jam.

So, to set the scene, it is just a typical day for people around the world, including those in the missile defence systems in Fort Greely, Alaska and those in the Situation Room in Washington DC. But tensions have slowly been growing around the world, and when you have a fuel around, all it takes is one match for it all to explode, which is when a ballistic launch is detected over the Pacific Ocean, heading right to the USA. A nuclear event that everyone has feared is now a reality.   

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