Tag Archives: Film

The Last House – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a film that is trying something, but it is working in a space where other contemporaries have excelled.  

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix subscription used to watch this film.

Water filling in the cracks of shattered glass.

The Last House Review Introduction

Today we are looking at something that is becoming increasingly rare in modern cinema: a genuinely original film. Not adapted, not spun off, and not based on a toy from 50 years ago. Given how uncommon these projects have become, I knew I had to give The Last House a watch.

So, to set the scene, one Sunday morning a surprise rainstorm appeared on the horizon. It felt like a normal day, but then the internet failed. But even stranger was the fact that none of the doors or windows would open. That’s okay, because you can break windows, right? No, the glass cracks but doesn’t break. Now, you and everyone you know are stuck in their houses, with only the food you happened to have inside.

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Spider-Man: Brand New Day – Movie Review

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TL;DR – While there are limitations from a narrative perspective, the core strength of the characters shines through in a compelling way.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is an end-credit sting.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Spider-Man sitting upside down on a skyscraper.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Review Introduction

This was a bit of an odd film for me, because of a number of factors. The first being my love of the MCU has been waning; I have not had the time or strength to keep up with its Disney+ outputs, and some of its recent films have been profoundly lacklustre. To add to this, I found the resolution of the last film, Spider-Man: No Way Home, to feel more like corporate maintenance than compelling storytelling. But given half the cast of the Odyssey is here, I thought it prudent to give it at least a go on its own terms.
 
So, to set the scene, it has been a hard couple of years for Peter Parker (Tom Holland), while Spider-Man (Tom Holland) has been out there becoming the hero of New York as he always wanted to be. Peter has lived a closed-off life, as the memory of the loss of Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) looms large. It doesn’t help that his two best friends, MJ (Zendaya) and Ned (Jacob Batalon), both forgot who he was and went off to live their own lives. But when an unknown entity starts attacking the Department of Damage Control by jumping between people, Peter realises there could be a dangerous enemy afoot, unless the imbalances in his own body take him down first.

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The Odyssey (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – The Odyssey is a rare blockbuster that combines spectacle, emotion, and myth in equal measure. It left me awestruck, unsettled, and completely engrossed from beginning to end.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Warning – Contains scenes with flashing lights.

Ships on the ocean at sunset.

The Odyssey Review Introduction

There are many foundational myths across the world, such as the Epic of Gilgamesh, Kebra Nagast, and Beowulf, to name a few. Each is written in a style of myth and history in a way that evokes the human condition. Today we look at Christopher Nolan’s dive into this world, taking on the unenviable task of bringing The Odyssey to the big screen.  

So, to set the scene, it has been twenty years since Odysseus (Matt Damon) left on the command of Agamemnon (Benny Safdie) to siege Troy and return the ‘kidnapped’ Helen (Lupita Nyong’o) to Menelaus (Jon Bernthal). However, it has been eight years since the city fell to the Trojan Horse gambit, and Odysseus has still not returned home to his wife Penelope (Anne Hathaway) and son Telemachus (Tom Holland). This has been enough time for new suitors to start sniffing around, trying to gain the kingship of Ithaca via marrying Penelope. She has held them off for years, even as they use Zeus’ Sacred law to bleed her dry with banquet after banquet. Penelope holds on, partly because she knows they will kill her son as soon as a new heir is born, but also because deep down in her heart, she knows that Odysseus is alive out there somewhere.

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Minions & Monsters – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Whether you like this film or not will depend on whether you think the Minions are charming or the death rattle of the end of Western Civilisation.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are several mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Minions & Monsters Review Introduction

Over the years, I have been a strong proponent of how much I do enjoy the Despicable Me universe, even if Despicable Me 4 did start to show its age. Part of that is the chaotic energy that is infectious, the bright colours, and a heavy helping of quality slapstick comedy. It doesn’t hurt that I don’t have kids, so I only have to watch them once. But can a spin-off of a spin-off have the power to work? This is what we will look at today.

So, to set the scene, we open as a new museum is opening in Hollywood, looking back at some of the greats of cinema history, for example George Lucas (George Lucas). But the tour group was perplexed to see a statue of two Minions sitting in the exhibition. Well, the tour guide (Allison Janney) said, it is time to get an education about the history of Hollywood. The Minions have one goal: to find a big bad to work for, but one of the Minions, James (Pierre Coffin), had more of a creative side. When they end up in Hollywood, James finds his moment working with Max (Christoph Waltz), a noted film director. But to make James’ magnum opus, they needed a monster, and well, the Minions might have the evil spell book to pull that off.

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Toy Story 5 – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A perfectly adequate addition to the series with the odd tender moment, and a lot of coincidence, so much coincidence.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid- and post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Lillypad.

Toy Story 5 Review Introduction

Look, I am just going to make it clear from the get-go that I walked into this film with the strong belief that it was not only unnecessary but profoundly detrimental to the franchise. Toy Story 3 is one of my Top 10 Animated Films of All Time and is the perfect ending to the series. I sort of worked my way through Toy Story 4, which, when you think of it, is more of an epilogue than a standalone film. I didn’t feel there was enough left in the tank to justify a fifth entry, and I think I was right.

So, to set the scene, Bonnie (Scarlett Spears) has been growing up fast, but still loves playing with her toys every day. But Jessie (Joan Cusack) and the gang have been trying to get her out of her shell so she can make some new friends. What Jessie does not know is that there is a storm brewing, and that storm is tech. Across the neighbourhood, toys are being abandoned as kids turn to tech to entertain themselves. But what was a neighbourhood problem is now in their house as a new Lilypad (Greta Lee) device has arrived, and it does not play fair.

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Scary Movie (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – It is a perfectly okay entry into the series, where some of the jokes still land, but it struggles to find its voice

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are mid-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Ghostface drinking tea.

Scary Movie Review Introduction

Now, before we jump in, I do have something to confess, and on the off chance one of my parents is reading this, maybe skip to the next paragraph. I kind of have a soft spot for Scary Movie as it was the first MA15+ film I saw in cinemas. In that rebellious phase where you realised you didn’t need parental approval to get into the cinemas. As far as parodies go, it was and still is streets ahead of many of its contemporaries and most of the followers that were spawned in the years after its success. But as time went on, the series had diminishing returns as it devolved into a funhouse mirror clip-show of pop culture. However, not only is this latest instalment coming at a time when Horror films are in ascendance, I mean Obsession and Backrooms just killed a Star Wars at the box office. But also, the original creators are back, and I am interested to see if they can bring the same intensity to the franchise twenty-six years later.

So, to set the scene, it has been many years since Ghostface struck, and many think he is a fable, or just a bad horror movie holdover, that is, until he turns up at Tuesday’s (Savannah Lee Nassif) house, brandishing his knife. Tuesday’s stabbing causes her sister Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan) and her not-at-all-suspicious boyfriend Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts) to return home and visit Sara’s mother, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), who has been preparing for this day for years. There is a killer on the loose, so it is time to bring the gang back together, including Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans), before Ghostface kills them off one by one in elaborate referential deaths.       

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Masters of the Universe (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – Well, never have I been so happy to be wrong. This film was a blast from beginning to end.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There are post-credit scenes.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

He-Man finds his power.

Masters of the Universe Review Introduction

Before we dive into the review proper, I think it is right to be a bit honest up front. I did not have high hopes for this film. It had been in production hell for an age and a half, the casting felt like a mess, it was hitting at a nostalgia that didn’t feel like it really existed, and it had a multitude of writing credits that made anyone concerned. Then there was the Jared Leto-sized elephant in the room. I was expecting a complete and utter disaster. Well, I need to go eat some humble pie, not because I like pie, I do, but because this was the most fun I have had in a cinema in an age.


So, to set the scene, Adam Glenn (Nicholas Galitzine) struggles a lot in Oklahoma City because people can never quite get close to him. Because sooner or later, he needs to tell them that when he was a child (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt), he was the Prince of Eternia, surrounded by magic, wonders, history, and the love of the people. But all of that changed one day when Skeletor (Jared Leto) attacked with his goons and captured his parents, King Randor (James Purefoy) and Queen Marlena (Charlotte Riley). They would have taken the young Adam to, in their search for the Sword of Power. However, the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) saved him by sending him to Earth to keep the sword safe, but he lost it in transit. As you can imagine, that kind of story does not get you a second date and probably get you an awkward phone call cutting the night short. But things change when one day he gets a message that someone has finally found his sword, and Adam has a chance to return home.

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Backrooms (2026) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – This is a film built almost entirely on its vibe, and that is exactly why it works. Every small detail has been crafted to leave the hairs standing up on the back of your neck for the entire runtime.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Score – 4 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire.

Backrooms Review Introduction

If you have ever dabbled in the online spaces, then you have probably come across the internet phenomenon that is the Backrooms. A slightly too illuminated or not illuminated enough office block that goes on for eternity, where things are just not quite right. It has the distinct visual style of being both familiar and also profoundly off-putting. Well, this has been bouncing around the World Wide Web for a decade or so, and one of the creators in the space has taken the jump to the big screen, so let’s take a look.   

So, to set the scene, in the 1990s, Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is a generally frustrated seller of tired house furniture. He wanted to be an architect, but for many reasons, he could never make that work. The Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire is bleeding him dry with all these electricity bills, which Clark knows are wrong because he might be currently living in the store after his wife kicked him out. He has been working through this with his therapist, Dr Mary Kline (Renate Reinsve), but nothing seems to stick. But then, one night, when he was sleeping in the store, he heard some odd electric noises from the basement. Going to investigate, nothing seems out of the ordinary until something caught the corner of his eye. An echo, a strip, a remembrance of a door that should not be there. It is an odd office-like space with yellow carpets and inconsistent fluorescent lighting. However, the deeper Clark goes, the weirder it gets.       

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The Mandalorian and Grogu (Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu) – Movie Review

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TL;DR – A generally solid, if only occasionally ambitious Star Wars film, but can’t quite escape the feeling that they took a season of television and smashed it into a film.  

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Grogu and The Mandalorian look over a sand dune.

The Mandalorian and Grogu Review Introduction

Today, we have an interesting film, as it has so many competing factors needed for it to work as a film. The Mandalorian and Grogu have to be a conclusion to a whole range of Disney+ television series, it has to be a tent-pole production bringing the cinematic glam back to the Star Wars Universe, and it has to be a good film in its own right. That is a lot of different tasks, all with their own baggage being brought to the table. Add to this a rapidly changing cinematic landscape in general, Disney+’s hit-and-miss aspect to its stories, and their profound inability to confront the toxic aspect of their own community. So yes, I’m concerned. But let’s see if they’ve managed to stick the landing.
 
So, to set the scene, since retiring from pulling bounties for more despicable people, The Mandalorian Din Djarin (Pedro Pascal/Brendan Wayne/Lateef Crowder) and his apprentice Grogu (Himself) have begun working bounties for the New Republic. Capturing those of the Imperial Remnant before they can cause more harm. But Colonel Ward gives Din Djarin a new mission deep in the territory of the Hutts. He needs to rescue Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White), but that might mean making deals with the exact people he has tried to stop working for.

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Finding Emily – Movie Review

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TL;DR – An oddly charming film that transcends some of the potential limitations by grounding the characters in a clear sense of time and place.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A poster with "Missing, A Digit of Emily's Number!, you gave me 10/11th's of your number on MONDAY you were a FAIRY I was the guy with no bottle opener who'd really like to see you again Meet ME Where you found me ANY NIGHT 7pm"

Finding Emily Review Introduction

When you have been writing reviews for a while, one of the issues that comes up is that you tend to have seen everything under the sun already. It is like that friend who always knows who the murderer is five minutes into a murder mystery. However, every now and again, a film will catch you off guard, and that is what we are looking at today.   

So, to set the scene, Owen (Spike Fearn) is a caring guy trying to make a life as a sound engineer when one night at a club he is working in, he runs into Emily (Sadie Soverall). They immediately hit it off with an almost electric chemistry. To the point he almost loses his job from having a good time. But late at night, before the clock struck 12, Emily had to run off with her friends to another party, but since they were having such fun, she put her number in Owen’s phone. The next morning, Owen’s brother, Matt (Jack Riddiford) and his partner, Freya (Isabella Laughland), did find a bit of glee when Owen discovered Emily had only given her 10 of the 11 digits of her phone number. But Owen was determined, and Manchester is a university town, so someone must know who she is, right? His first attempt was a failure, but Emily Raine (Angourie Rice) was nice enough to help him on his mission, but her motives might not be all that altruistic.

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