Cold Storage – Movie Review

TL;DR – While filled with fascinating concepts, it becomes a film that is less than the sum of its parts.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

Masked troops drive away from a town being bombed in fire.

Cold Storage Review Introduction

If you have been on our site before, you know that we are here for an interesting new Zombie work. While the genre can be overstuffed at times, the good films use the zombies as a reflection on society and have interesting things to say. Today, we are looking at a film that is filled to the brim with interesting concepts, but struggles to make a great film out of it, despite all the building blocks being there.  

So, to set the scene, when Skylab crashed into Western Australia in 1979, NASA thought it had collected all the debris, but it missed one. It housed a fungus they were experimenting on, but what went up was not what came down. Luckily, the canister landed in the barren Australian desert, though unlucky for the small township that needed to be napalmed to contain the spread. A small sample was kept in the top-secret Atchison Storage Facility in Kansas. But time is a fool to us all, and decades later, what was stored on sub-level 4 was forgotten, the facility was sold off to a self-storage company, and life went on. Well, it did right up until an internal warning system that has not been activated since the Cold War started blaring in Washington.  

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Project Hail Mary – Movie Review

TL;DR – Project Hail Mary is everything a sci-fi film should be: bold, evocative, immersive, and wonderous.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Warning – Some scenes contain flashing lights.

Warning – Contains scenes which may cause distress.

The Hail Mary floating next to a much larger alien ship.

Project Hail Mary Review Introduction

As I sit down to write this review, I feel like I am floating a touch on air, as if I had just witnessed something glorious to behold. Something I hoped would be good, but which delivered in ways not even I was expecting. It’s a rare film that not only meets expectations but exceeds them.   

So, to set the scene, a man wakes up sealed in a bag, not able to talk, and is accosted by some persistent medical device. He does not know who he is. He does not know where he is. He does not know why there are two dead bodies with him. And you better believe he does not know why he is on a spaceship, or why the star he is looking at is not Sol. There are flashes of memory, of a dying Sun, a Petrova line to Venus, and microbes called Astrophage eating it away. But the man whom the computer says is Dr Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) doesn’t have much time to think about things when the computer alerts him to Blip-A, and he realises he is not the only spaceship out here.     

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Reminders of Him – Movie Review

TL;DR – While conceptually interesting, I never bought the romance and the heart of the film, which is a problem when your film is all about the romance.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

An orange truck drives into the sunset.

Reminders of Him Review Introduction

Having decided, probably wisely, to steer clear of everything to do with It Ends with Us, my first dive into the world of Colleen Hoover came last year with the very interesting Regretting You. It was a film that I fundamentally liked with interesting characters, so I was interested to see what other worlds she could create.

So, to set the scene, Kenna Rowan (Maika Monroe) is making a trip back to her hometown, but this is not a celebratory return. She has just been released from prison after serving 5–7 years for vehicular homicide. She is also not just returning to her hometown to reminisce, because the homicide was her former lover Scotty (Rudy Pankow), and their child Diem (Zoe Kosovic) now lives with their grandparents, Grace (Lauren Graham) and Patrick (Bradley Whitford). Kenna had her parental rights stripped from her, and now needs to reunite with her daughter. First step, finding a place to live, and a hotel aptly named Paradise is the place for that. The second step is finding a job, and that is where she runs into Ledger Ward (Tyriq Withers), Scottie’s old best friend.

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OBEX – Movie Review

TL;DR – A wildly imaginative, if slow burn look at the blurred lines between the real world and a video game.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was sent a screener of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes which may cause distress.

Have you plugged your computer in today mug.

OBEX Review Introduction –

This year, Iron Lung taught me one very important lesson. That is, some of the most interesting work in the cinematic landscape is coming out of the work of small teams. Working on bringing a very niche thing to life can be rewarding when you take some big risks. Today’s entry OBEX looks to be doing just that as they mix horror and nostalgia together in a retro landscape.

So, to set the scene, it’s 1987, and Conor Marsh (Albert Birney) is an agoraphobic who lives alone, making a living out of creating ascii art, and spending much of his time playing these new-fangled video games on his computer. He would have been a complete recluse had it not been for Sandy (Dorothy), his dog, who is his one joy in life. However, when he opens the new video game OBEX, the line between reality and fiction starts to blur as technology starts going awry and thinking for itself.   

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The Bride! – Movie Review

TL;DR – I’d be honestly surprised if “what if Bonnie and Clyde were Frankenstein and his Bride” was not written somewhere prominently in the pitch deck for this film.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Warning – This film contains scenes which may cause distress.

Ida staring across a room, almost right in your soul.

The Bride! Review Introduction –

If you had told me a few years ago that Gothic Romance would come crashing back into the zeitgeist, I would have called you a fool. But indeed, it seems that I would have been the foolish one. Because we have had multiple big entries into this space, including other works adapting Frankenstein. Today, we are looking at a work that takes that classic tale and twists it on its head, and I am intrigued to see just how that works out. 

So, to set the scene, it is Chicago in the 1930s, the casinos are hot, the liquor is flowing, and the mob has their fingers in everything. Frank (Christian Bale) has been going through this world alone, but now he wants a partner in crime, and Dr. Euphronious (Annette Bening) might be just the person to do it. Thus, a local murdered and possibly possessed woman’s body becomes The Bride (Jessie Buckley). It was all very simple to pull off, but they may have got more than they bargained for.

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The Bluff – Movie Review

TL;DR – While the story might not have the strength of wind behind the sails, the action and setting make up for it.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid for the Amazon Prime service to view this film.

Rowboats approach the shore.

The Bluff Review Introduction

Today I was thinking that I have not seen a good Pirate action-adventure film. Well, call me surprised to find that when I opened Amazon Prime tonight, I found that a new film starring Priyanka Chopra and Karl Urban had landed, promising to do just that. Well, there is no time like the present to dive in and see if it works or not.   

So, to set the scene, in crashing waves and the gale of a storm, a pirate vessel is making its way through the Caribbean Sea in the tail end of the Era of Pirates in 1846. In the gloom, it finds its prey, a merchant vessel Swiftsure with a curious captain, Theodor H. Bodden (Ismael Cruz Córdova), holding gold marked with their pirate brand of Captain Connor (Karl Urban). Gold, they got in the small town of Cayman Brac. But while Cayman Brac looks inconsequential, it holds many secrets, and Ercell Bodden (Priyanka Chopra) is no sailor’s wife, well, she is, but she’s also a lot more.  

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The Wrecking Crew – Movie Review

TL;DR – A solid action film that works as two big personalities collide with vengeance.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

Johnny (Dave Bautista) and James (Jason Momoa) in a police office.

The Wrecking Crew Review Introduction

Today, it is time to dive into an action film full of explosions, guns, big muscles, and bigger personalities. It is the kind of glitzy action film that we would get once a month, but now get sent straight to streaming. But as this is a very dad-film coded entry, it might just be the best place for it.   

So, to set the scene, it’s Chinese New Year on the streets of Honolulu as Walter (Brian L. Keaulana) walks through Chinatown, being stalked by unsavoury people as fireworks explode. But just when he escapes, a van mows him down in the street. The man was a private eye with a long list of carnage in his wake, including two children, half-brothers Johnny (Dave Bautista) and James (Jason Momoa), who have not talked to each other in over ten years. But when the Yakuza show up at James’ place with violent intent, looking for a package Walter sent him before he died, well, it just might be time for James to go back to Hawaii to see who really killed his father.

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Mercy – Movie Review

TL;DR – This is an insipid, soulless, and excruciating attempt to appear relevant, but it ends up having little genuine intellectual fortitude.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A ticking countdown clock.

Mercy Review Introduction

Now, I’ll be honest from the outset, while I always try to go into a film not knowing the general reaction towards it, sometimes you simply can’t escape finding out. In that vein, I did know that Mercy was generally considered a bit of a dumpster fire before I walked in, but people and critics can be very wrong, so given the cast and the premise, I was ready to give it the benefit of the doubt. I should not have given it the benefit of the doubt.  

So, to set the scene, in the not-too-distant future, Los Angeles is under attack from crime, civil disturbance, and a court system about to fail. To change that up, they institute the Mercy System, where violent offenders of capital crimes are sent to the Mercy Court, where an AI judge (Rebecca Ferguson) gives them 90 minutes to lower their guilt probability to under 92%, or they are instantly executed. One of the early proponents of this new system is LAPD Detective Christopher “Chris” Raven (Chris Pratt), who supported it after his partner (Kenneth Choi) was killed in the line of duty. Which is unfortunate for him, because he now sits strapped to a chair with that same AI judge staring down at him watching a clock count down and a guilt probability that he killed his wife, Nicole (Annabelle Wallis), sitting at 97.5%.

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Iron Lung – Movie Review

TL;DR – A film that is all-vibe, but it leans into that vibe with a gusto you rarely see.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

A flashing light.

Iron Lung Review Introduction

Today, we are diving [pun intended] into some fascinating independent cinema: a film made from an Indy video game, and then independently financed by a YouTube star in their directorial debut. That is such a fascinating combination that I had to take a look.  

So, to set the scene, sometime in the future, a calamity has occurred where every inhabited planetary system disappeared in a catastrophe called the Quiet Rapture. Only those living on artificial structures survived, and there are not many humans left. Humanity is heading fast into extinction when a random moon AT-5 is found covered in an ocean of blood. Using convicts, they explore this ocean for answers. One of those “volunteer” pilots is Simon (Mark ‘Markiplier’ Fischbach), a man with a lot of blood on his hands. He is welded into a submersible called SM-13 and sent to the bottom of the ocean to explore, only to find there might be horrors in an ocean of blood.

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Shrinking: My Bad [S3E1] – TV Review

TL;DR Shrinking is the kind of show that has cornered the market in laugh-crying your way through an episode, and this first outing back is no different as Harrison Ford hits both of those emotions in the first five minutes.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Disclosure – I paid for the AppleTV service that viewed this series.

Paul scares Kimmy by driving.

Shrinking Review introduction

Well, it is time to check back in with everyone’s favourite ‘probably dysfunctional friend group, but since most of the characters are therapists, we probably won’t bring that up’ television family. This is such an odd show because on paper it does not really work, but then you sit down, turn it on and find yourself laughing/crying your way through it. That was at least the case for Season One and Season Two, but can Season Three land those same feels? Well, let’s look at the opening double-parter to see how they will go.   

So, to set the scene, things are looking up for the group of friends working their way around life, love, and finding themselves. However, while everyone is growing and changing, life finds its way to throw curveballs everywhere. Jimmy (Jason Segel) wants Alice (Lukita Maxwell) to get into Wesleyan, but he is very not ready for his daughter to move across the country for college in Connecticut. Paul’s (Harrison Ford) Parkinson’s is progressing, and he can’t hold a pencil anymore. But nothing prepares you for the reason someone says, “My bad”. Now, from here, we will be looking at the episode as a whole, so there will be some [SPOILERS] ahead.  

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