Black Bag – Movie Review

TL;DR – Sexy, intriguing, delightful, and also a bit tense. In other words, it is an almost perfect spy film.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a press screening of this film.

A handgun on a wooden table.

Black Bag Review

It has been a long time since I have seen a spy film perfectly capture that intrigue, where you, the audience, do not quite know what is going on, yet you are profoundly compelled to find out as the machinations of the story unfolds in front of you. Narratively, that is hard to pull off, especially in the modern era where we have seen most of the story tricks you would use in other films. However, in today’s entry, we find a movie that nails that with class.

So, to set the scene, George Woodhouse (Michael Fassbender) and Kathryn St. Jean (Cate Blanchett) look like your normal highly successful power couple, bar one thing: they both work for one of Great Britain’s security services. Kathryn is a renowned field agent, and George is a security specialist whose polygraphs are legendary. They work well together because they know where all the professional boundaries lie. However, this is thrown asunder when a key analyst, Meacham (Gustaf Skarsgård), discovers there are only five people who could have stolen a highly classified weapons program, and one of them is Kathryn. What is George to do? Well, maybe invite every suspect to his house for dinner.   

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Rumours Review: A Surreal but Flawed Experience

TL;DR – A film that had a premise for half an hour that is stretched out to a feature and even a cast list like this can’t fix that central issue. Surrealism for just the sake of being surreal.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene.

Disclosure – I was invited to a screening of this film.

Warning – Contains scenes that may cause distress.

The G7 leaders standing for a photo op.

Rumours Review

Before we start, a little history about me. My professional qualifications are in International Relations and the exploration of politics on a global level. So, when I got invited to a horror/mystery/comedy/weird film set during a meeting of the G7. You can imagine I was excited because this was right up my alley. Well, that was until I actually got to watch the film.

So, to set the scene, several calamities are happening in the world, so the G7 leaders Hilda Ortmann (Cate Blanchett), the Chancellor of Germany; Edison Wolcott (Charles Dance), the President of the United States; Maxime Laplace (Roy Dupuis), the Prime Minister of Canada; Sylvain Broulez (Denis Ménochet), the President of France; Cardosa Dewindt (Nikki Amuka-Bird), the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom; Antonio Lamorte (Rolando Ravello), the Prime Minister of Italy & Tatsuro Iwasaki (Takehiro Hira), the Prime Minister of Japan. As the leaders walk to a private dinner to discuss the proposal from the meeting, they discover a bog body has been found on the property. But as they sit for dinner, suddenly, they can’t contact any of their staff and soon realise that they are all alone.  

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Borderlands – Movie Review

TL;DR – While I will give it points for getting some of the visual style right, and something must have gotten that cast to sign up. But the final product was a soulless mess of nothingness.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene that you don’t need to stay for.

Warning – There is strobing effects.

Disclosure – I paid to watch this film.

Space Station around Pandora.

Borderlands Review

For a long time, there has been a question about whether you can write an engaging video game adaptation? They have been hit and miss, and many were just made for tax write-offs [allegedly]. However, in recent years, we have found that you can make that translation on both TV and in the cinema, which makes it even more frustrating that we take a return to the past with today’s entry.  

So, to set the scene, we open around the planet of Pandora, where a secret vault containing alien information has drawn vault hunters for generations, leaving the planet trashed and strewn with violent gangs. One man who is after that power is Atlas (Edgar Ramírez), which makes it concerning when one of his own soldiers, Roland (Kevin Hart), kidnaps his daughter Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) and takes her into the quagmire. It has been months, and no one has been able to find her, which is when he goes to Lilith (Cate Blanchett), the one bounty hunter that can take on the planet because she used to live there.

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Indiana Jones Series Review – Exploring a Franchise

TL;DR –.We look at the varied highs and lows of the Indiana Jones franchise up to now.   

Disclosure – I paid for the Disney+ service that viewed these films

Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Image Credit: Lucasfilm Ltd.

Indiana Jones

There are moments when you sit around with nothing to do for a weekend and decide it is time to dive into some nostalgia from the past. With Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny coming out later this month, and it has been years since I had seen the older films, some not since cinemas, it was good timing when they all appeared on Disney+ this week. Well, good time with a massive dash of marketing. So we dive back in time not quite to a galaxy far, far away, but not, not a galaxy far, far away.

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Tár – Movie Review

TL;DR – A phenomenal performance in a severely dull film   

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid to see this film

Records on the floor.

Tár Review

This will be a difficult film to review because it is a movie of two very distinct parts, performance and narrative. Thus it becomes a work of incredible highs and deep lows, and trying to pass that feels like climbing a mountain. But climb we will as we dive into this fascinatingly frustrating film.

So to set the scene, Lydia Tár (Cate Blanchett) is at the height of her career. She is the first female chief conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic, being asked to do masterclasses at the Juilliard School, she has a book coming out Tár on Tár, and she has a beautiful homelife with her wife Sharon Goodnow (Nina Hoss) and daughter Petra (Mila Bogojevic). But there is a growing sense that Tár is walking on shifting sands as actions of the past start bubbling to the surface.     

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Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio – Movie Review

TL;DR – A work of art that hits on every emotional level from start to finish.    

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is a mid-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film.

Pinocchio but just a puppet.

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio Review

Some names instantly intrigue you when you hear they are attached to a project. Which is entirely what happened when I heard that Guillermo del Toro was going to make a Pinocchio film. This alone was enough to interest me. Then you discover that it will be an animated film, not just that, a stop-motion animation film, and the masters of puppets, The Jim Henson Company, will produce it. Well, that is a combination that could not be missed, and I am fundamentally glad I watched it.   

 So to set the scene, master craftsman Geppetto (David Bradley) lost his only child Calro (Gregory Mann), during the Great War when he was only ten years old. A stray bomb destroyed the church that they were working in, and it is a loss that he has never recovered from. Sometime later, Sebastian J. Cricket (Ewan McGregor), a travelling cricket, came to live in the tree planted at Carlo’s grave and watched as a drunk Geppetto laments over his lost son. But as that is happening, some old spirits from the forest who typically ignore humanity hear the pleas of the grieving father and when he cuts down the pine tree that was planted at the grave to turn it into a puppet. So The Wood Sprite (Tilda Swinton) looks over the creation and then brings that puppet Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) to life.   

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The School for Good and Evil – Movie Review

TL;DR – There were hints of something fabulous here, but it just felt like it was always held back from reaching its true potential.    

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Disclosure – I paid for the Netflix service that viewed this film

The School for Good and Evil

The School for Good and Evil Review

Many genres land for me on a personal level; one of them is taking traditional narratives and bringing a new twist to them. You can see it clearly when someone takes a swing at an old fairy tale and brings new life into it. Today we are looking at just such a film in a land far from our own, full of good and evil.

So to set the scene, in the long past of the fairy tale world, two brothers, Rhian (Kit Young) and Rafal (Kit Young) created a school to bring balance between good and evil, a balance that is now broken between them and the world after the use of forbidden blood magic. A long time later, in the small town of Gavaldon, two outcast girls, Sophie (Sophia Anne Caruso) and Agatha (Sofia Wylie), are complete opposites but also best friends. One day while in town, they stop into Deauville’s Storybook Shop, they learn about the legend of The School of Good of Evil, and Sophie puts all her hope into the wishing tree that it is real. Well, one night, under a red sky, they find out the answer the hard way. Even worse, they might have made a mix-up as they stare down Lady Leonora Lesso, the Dean of the School for Evil (Charlize Theron) and Prof. Clarissa Dovey, the Dean of the School for Good (Kerry Washington).  

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Movie Review – Where’d You Go, Bernadette

TL;DR – A film full of promise that somehow fails to land     

Score – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Where'd You Go, Bernadette. Image Credit: Universal Pictures.

Review

When you watch a film that is not just bad but lazy, it is easy to critique, as it a movie that nails it. However, one of the most challenging parts of this job is when you get a film that a lot of passion has gone into its production, it has all the components needed to be amazing, and yet still it just does not come together. Today we look at just such a film with Where’d You Go, Bernadette.

So to set the scene, many years ago Bernadette Fox (Cate Blanchett) was an aspiring architect, winner of a MacArthur Grant, and a revolutionary in her field. However, today she is just a recluse living in an unfinished house in Seattle with her tech industry husband Elgin (Billy Crudup) and their daughter Bee (Emma Nelson). While she spends most of her life supporting her daughter and feuding with the neighbours like Audrey Griffin (Kristen Wiig). Things are about to change as Bee is about to leave for boarding school, and Bernadette’s past is about to catch up with her.

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Movie Review – Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle

TL;DR – While at times this film has moments of technical brilliance, huge issues with tone, and a story we already know to death means that the film ends up being just dull.     

Score – 2 out of 5 stars

Post-Credit Scene – There is no post-credit scene

Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle. image Credit: Netflix

Review

There are warning signs in the industry that happens sometimes that lets you know a studio is not really confident with what they are about to release. This could be not screening it for critiques,or putting an embargo on reviews before release, or in this day and age it is a film suddenly disappearing from the cinema schedule and being sold off to Netflix. Now, this is not always a case of it being a bad film, just a case of the distributors not knowing what they have, see this year’s Annihilation(see review). However,today we look at a film that probably falls squarely into this category.

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Countdown – My Personal Top 10 Films of All Time List

TL;DR – Today we countdown my Top 10 films of all time; from towns where there are a lot of ‘accidents’, to all forms of Sci-Fi, to do you know the man with six fingers on his right hand, and everything in between.

Countdown

Recently I watched the CineFix crew countdown their Top 10 films, and it had me thinking what are mine? Now it was at this point where I of course naturally spiralled as how can you reduce thousands of films that you have seen into only a Top 10. Just before I threw my hands up in resignation and chucked in the towel I happened to catch an episode of Movies with Mikey on how he determined the best sequel. With this in mind I wondered if there was a set of criteria that I could use to categorise the films into a list that I would be happy with, and after some work, I came up with the following criteria that work for me.

  • Films that are beautifully constructed
  • Films that mean something to me
  • Films that are always re-watchable
  • Films that have added to my love of the craft of cinema

With this criterion in mind I went through all the likely candidates and with a bit of a struggle I think I have been able to come to a final list, well at least until I change my mind next week, which is always a chance.

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